


FruitSalad Cowboy

by ToxicSpeka



Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Autistic Tommy Coolatta, Benrey is ace, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Gordon has GAD, Gordon has PTSS, Gordon has a prostetic arm, John Freeman is a character and yea he shows up sometimes, Joshua goes nonverbal a Lot, Not A Game AU, after the fact au, he just likes to cuddle bro, its important, its not used a ton but its there, theyre all trying their best, this is all pure fluff with a bit of angst kinda, thought that last part isnt strictly mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26155468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicSpeka/pseuds/ToxicSpeka
Summary: Gordon loves Joshua. Tiny little cowboy son. Look at him. He's barely above three feet tall hes so much of a baby. How could you not love him?The Science Team have forcibly moved themselves in, so guess his family got bigger now. How can you complain about that? You can't.
Comments: 120
Kudos: 264





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Theres no ships in this fic!! And if you think the first chapter is familar, is because it was used in another fic I deleted.
> 
> Title (and Joshua himself) is based off the Joshua from Wayne's discord and stream

It was early. Gordon knew that for a fact. He knew that ten minutes ago when he woke up to the distinct sound of his fridge door opening and plastic rattling. He knew that five minutes ago at the sound of his son's bedroom door opening and shutting. He knew that from the streaks of sunlight that creeped between and over the trees, filtering a gentle purple and orange light into his dark bedroom. It was painfully early. He didn't have the heart to turn away from the light or look at his phone, he was only going to be disappointed anyway. He greeted the morning with a singular blink at the ceiling and a sigh.

Early morning greeted Gordon with a shuffle at his side, then a 5-year-old weight on his chest. Letting out a tired grunt and blinking bleary eyes open once again, his free hand swung out to the side to grab at his side table until his glasses were handed to him.

"Thanks," Gordon mumbled and put them on. Now that he could see, he could clearly make out Joshua sitting on his chest, eyes wide and glossy with unshed tears. Right away, all traces of being tired were scrubbed violently from his mind and he sat up, grabbing Joshua and sitting him beside him in bed.

lifting his free hand to ruffle his son's bed hair, Gordon pushed his bangs away to give him a kiss on the forehead. "What're you doin' up so early, Joshie? Everything okay, had a bad dream?"

Joshua sniffled. Gordon hated that look on him. Even though he wasn't crying, he was close, and it was taking all the kid's willpower to hold it back. _Not on my watch_ , Gordon thought, pulling him into a warm hug that made Joshua curl up into his lap and dirty his shirt with tears. It didn't matter, he could soak every shirt he ever owned with tears and he'd still comfort the kid.

His hand ran down his back, humming gently in an attempt to soothe him. It didn't last long as Joshua lifted a single, small hand, fingers flexing a second before they signed out the letters "S-C-H-O-O-L" and fell back into gripping Gordon's shirt.

"That's what got you all worked up, little buddy?" Joshua finally pulled away, looking up at Gordon with a brisk nod. He gave a kind smile. "I know! It's both exciting and scary, huh? You just-- you just started, and I'm _so_ proud of you. You're in kindergarten! You're such a big boy." He hugged him again, just for good measure, you know, and Joshua smiled a bit. It was small and strained, but Gordon kept on.

"Buuut, guess what? You're gonna see all your friends again!" Joshua's smile grew and he leaned forward, hands pulling from his dad's shirt to start to flap up and down as he continued. "And guess what after that? We're goin' to the park and gonna eat ice cream!"

Joshua made a small happy sound, struggling to stop his hands for a second before finally being able to point finger guns at him and wave them around. A difficult task when he was excited, but Gordon got the point and playfully rolled his eyes and ruffled his hair again. " _Yes_ you can wear your cowboy costume. That sound like a plan?"

If his hand flaps and squeaks were anything to go by, then _yes_ , it was very much their plan. Joshua jumped off the bed and Gordon swung his legs over the edge, tiredly sitting up and picking up his phone to check for the time. 5:49 AM. The bus showed up at 6:30 to pick him up, so… this was about an hour of time that he'd normally kill in about fifteen. Oh well.

Joshua jumped once and Gordon went to stop him from getting _too_ excited, then he wouldn't be able to get dressed for school, but then he paused and took a deep breath. The swelling of Gordon's pride at seeing his son being able to recognize when he's getting too riled up was almost enough to kickstart him into standing up. Almost. But that didn't matter, as Joshua seemed determined to wake him up fully and rushed over, hugging his leg and pulling as if he was strong enough to actually drag him from bed. He just _had_ to play along.

"Woah!" Gordon fake gasped, standing from the bed and half-hopping-half-walking to the door, aided by Joshua's absolute cowboy strength and his giggles. "Who knew I was raising such a strong little man! I gotta keep you under ropes, or you'll get too powerful for me to handle!"

Joshua's laugh was infectious and Gordon couldn't stop his own from bubbling up, reaching down and scooping him up into his arms. "Ha! Looks like the tables have turned! I've used my evil dad powers to stop your cowboy strength!"

He squirmed and giggled little hands switching between slapping his wrists and signing "bad" until he was set down in the hallway.

"Quick, go wash it off in the shower before it spreads!" He chuckled, and Joshua positively squealed in excitement before running off into the bathroom and politely closing the door without slamming it.

Now, with that taken care of, time for breakfast.

It was something simple and Joshie's favourite, blueberry pancakes, but he made sure to add his special secret ingredient: more blueberries. Kid didn't know what was coming! As soon as he came into the kitchen, dressed in his school uniform, he was absolutely _blown away_ by the state of these wonderful, fluffy pancakes. Topped with sugar free syrup, a chopped up strawberry for the colour, and a tall (cowboy themed) half-full cup of milk to wash it down. He made sure to serve it to him _correctly_ , gently sliding it across the island to him from a few inches away so he could catch it, take a deep gulp, and whisper an exaggerated "Aaah~!" before setting it back down.

God, he loved his kid.

It was way too early for them to go out and wait for the bus, so he helped Joshua wash his hands and sat down with him to watch some cartoons about, you guessed it, cowboys. To make it even more authentic, Gordon got up and grabbed Joshua's horse stuffy from his room, carefully handing it to him so the kid could 'play along' to the show. Maybe it was the pancakes, the show, or FruitSalad as he decided to name his horse, but something clicked and he turned to him, smiling.

"T-thanks, daddy!" Did he say he would kill for his kid? Because he would. "I love you." And he was _so small_ and his hugs were just precious, and Gordon couldn't help the pride rushing to his head as he hugged his son back and told him how much he loved him as well.

Of course, all good things had to come to an end as his phone's alarm rang, buzzing and chirping away on the counter. He forgot he even left it over there. He gave Joshua one more squeeze and got up, walking over to his phone and turning the alarm off. It was one he always skipped anyway, he had another one for fifteen minutes later for the same thing. Get up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast. He already had breakfast with Joshua, and was too awake to lazily sit about until the next alarm, so he unlocked his phone and disabled that one before it had the chance to even ring.

"Hey Joshie? I'm gonna go take a quick shower, okay?" He called over his shoulder, earning a small horse's head popping up over the arm of the couch. "Oh, I'm sorry FruitSalad. Can you tell Cowboy Joshie I'm gonna go shower, please?" 

The horse nodded, then ducked behind the arm again. Not even a second later, Joshua peeked up in its place and waved. "'Kay dad!" He smiled, showing off a missing incisor, and Gordon sighed happily.

After a pretty quick shower and a painfully long process of towel-and-brush his hair, Gordon pulled his hair into a ponytail and got dressed. No point in showering if you were just going to put more house clothes on, right? 

He had so many blue button-ups. It was almost painful how many blue button-up shirts he had. He grabbed one with a pocket on the chest, a pair of black khakis instead of white because he _knew_ no one at Black Mesa gave a hot damn about the colour of his pants, threaded his belt, tucked in his shirt, and slid on his dress socks. Ready to roll.

Just as he made his way to his bedroom door, Gordon paused and about-faced, opening his sock drawer and pulling out a folded red and blue striped tie. It was _such_ an ugly tie, the colours didn't clash well at all with the rest of the uniform and the angle was so odd, and this was coming from the kind of person that would unironically wear underwear with atoms on it so you _knew_ it had to be bad.

He just hoped one day he could just _not_ wear a tie. There was no reason for it. There was a reason for his bag, though. It wasn't anything special, just a brown leather shoulder bag that had some files from work, a pad and pen, his work wallet, and his work keys. It could _carry_ stuff. His tie was just stupid.

Finally getting the damned, ugly thing around his neck, Gordon came into the living room to see Joshua already up and with his bookbag on, sliding on his shoes and carefully tying the laces up. He slightly fumbled, and Gordon gave a soft smile, sitting down on the front step with him and pulling his dress shoes over. He slid them on, then went about slowly tying them, silently showing Joshua each step again. It was clear Joshua was trying his hardest to act like he wasn't paying attention, but he was, following his steps just a second or two behind until both his shoes were successfully tied.

Feigning innocence, Gordon looked over and grinned, giving Joshie a little shove to his shoulder. "Hey look at that, you tied your shoes all by yourself!"

"Yeah!"

"That's so good, I'm really proud of you. You know that?" He stood, instinctively holding his hand out for Joshua to hold. Sure, all they were doing was going outside to stand at the corner, but both of them felt better to be holding hands.

Joshua made a happy sound as he followed him, free hand either fiddling with his bookbag strap or pointing up at the trees and naming all the animals he saw. It was usually only "squirrel" or "bird", but when he saw _two_ squirrels his little heart nearly exploded.

After a pat on the head and one more hug, Josh hopped up onto the bus and Gordon faintly heard the kid greet and thank the driver as the doors closed. When the bus was finally out of sights, Gordon turned on his heel and went back up the street.

He didn't need to be at work early. He just was going to, there simply wasn't any point in going back inside and chilling out on the couch until he was fashionably late. If Joshua hadn't woken him up, he probably would have, but this was different.

The hour-long drive to Black Mesa was filled with silence. Not entire silence, the radio was on and he distinctly remembered singing along to at least three songs, but most of the trip was gone from his memory. He would have been more terrified about not being all the way there while driving if he hadn't arrived at Black Mesa entirely unscathed. As he sat on the empty tram, his eyes slid closed and his head knocked against the window a good two or three times until he begrudgingly tilted his head back to stare out the window normally.

How come everyone could rest their heads on the windows of busses so fine in tv shows? That wasn't fair at all. What if he wanted to be a cool kid, laying his head on the window while fitting background music played? Too bad!

There was one thing for certain, though. For the first time in months, Gordon Freeman was actually on time for his job. Well, maybe a… _little_ late.


	2. Chapter 2

When Joshua saw his dad again, two months and a week had passed.

He all but ran up the front stairs, arms flapping in a mix of happy excitement and anxiety. John had knocked, as his hands were too busy to do so, and he was forced to wait. He'd done enough waiting, enough anxious moments waking up, asking where his dad was, getting dressed and going to school, getting picked up, then sitting by the door for  _ hours _ . Waiting. Waiting. The only information he was ever told was that his dad might not be coming home for a while, but he was going to be as soon as he could.

He asked kids at school. Asked teachers and counselors, too. None of them gave him happy answers. When the one month mark passed, he lost many nights worth of sleep. He'd nearly given up on eating when the two month mark hit.

His heart really dropped when his early morning cartoons had been interrupted by the news. His dad's job had blown up.

The door clicked and Joshua sucked in a lungful of air, trying to calm down. His dad taught him that! He had trouble calming down sometimes, so he would take a deep breath and it would help!

But, once the door swung open, and Joshua finally got to look up at the face of his dad again, he broke down. Small scars on his cheeks, slightly crooked glasses, and wild hair with more streaks of grey peppered in than usual, but a wide smile that he could recognize anyway. Joshua screamed. 

Sprinting in and wrapping his arms around his leg, sobbing and yelling at the top of his lungs, Joshua wailed all his troubles away. No words, just noise, clinging to his dad's leg like he'd fade away if he let go.

Safe to say, it broke Gordon's heart.

He fell where he stood, pulling Joshua from his leg to press his tear-streaked face to his chest and hold him tight.

"It's okay, Joshie," he spoke, pausing to kiss the top of his head and rub his back. His screams luckily started to die down, but his hiccups and tears didn't. "I'm here. I'm okay, see? I'm so sorry I was gone for so long, I love you, Joshua. I love you." He hadn't heard Joshua yell like that. It was so loud, so painful sounding, sure to have screamed his throat raw, and he scrubbed tears from his eyes as he rocked the both of them.

Gordon ignored the multiple sets of eyes on him. Mostly. He looked up to John standing at the doorway and smiled, and his brother smiled back, eyes trailing down to his… metallic right arm. He'd have to explain later. Instead of saying anything, though, John gave a solemn nod and moved off into the kitchen, pouring a glass of water.

Eventually, Joshua had cried himself to sleep, clutching onto Gordon's shirt even while unconscious. It was quiet for a while, Gordon just rocking back and forth, just holding his son. Something he didn't know he missed so much until right now. He sniffed back tears and started humming, a familiar tune he'd sing Joshua to sleep to. The kid was already out, but… he still felt the need to do it. He missed out on doing it for so many days, he just had to, now.

Another hum met his ears and he was ready to lift his head, tell Benrey to cut it out, but he just… Didn't. The words felt too heavy on his tongue to say. Maybe he was still just too tired from all that happened. Blue Sweet Voice twinkled in the air, growing by the second as Benrey attempted to be the backup singer to his song. He didn't know the lyrics, tune, or pattern until a second after Gordon hummed, but his voice was quiet enough that it somehow fit. The colours would switch ever so slightly, but based on how Tommy's expression never changed from his passive, calm smile, and how Benrey was focused on singing, he wasn't saying anything bad.

Everything was okay.

Everything was finally okay.

A few seconds passed of no one speaking again, before Gordon leaned forward, grunting a bit as he stood and hoisted Joshua further up into his arms. He had stood up into the cloud of fading Sweet Voice but didn't say anything about it, just letting the calm wash over Joshua and himself. They both needed it. It was a soft and warm feeling, settling gently in his chest and making him hum again. He felt Joshua breathe deeply against him.

"Alright, little cowboy. Time for bed, you really need it." Gordon whispered, feeling Joshua slightly shift in his arms as he walked him to his bedroom. The familiar space would definitely help. Bubby got up from the couch and made a beeline for the door, opening it and stepping aside so he could enter without having to move Joshua around. He only smiled in a silent thanks, but Bubby understood, quietly going back into the living room.

It took an extra second or two to uncurl his fingers from around his shirt, but Joshua was soon laid in bed, lights off and snoozing away. He missed this sight. Missed this time. Coming home and laying the little cowboy down to sleep, giving him a hair ruffle and a forehead smooch and singing him to sleep. Though the song came late this time, he was sure Joshua still appreciated it.

Gordon gave him one last kiss on the head before leaving, whispering another 'love you' for good measure before closing the door and going back to the living room.

It was like no one knew what to say. Tommy was carefully going around the room, looking at pictures hung up of Gordon and Joshua all while stopping Sunkist from leaving his side. Bubby and Coomer were standing almost stalk still in the kitchen, pointedly looking away or at the floor. Benrey was sitting on the couch, staring at the blank TV, and John was leaning against the kitchen's island, sipping from a stolen soda from the fridge.

John sighed, took a hearty sip, then pointed to Gordon. "So, lost your arm?"

Gordon rolled his eyes and lifted his arm, showing it off to John to handle. It was… Attached to the rest of his arm in some sort of way, and even Gordon gave a confused half shrug at his expression. It was black, grey, and orange, not unlike that HEV suit Gordon would often talk about, with a faint blue glow at the joints that could only be seen when he bent his fingers. After another second or two of inspection, he let go with a nod, setting his drink on the island behind him. He took a deep breath, staring at Gordon pointedly, then spoke.

"Why'd you gotta be cooler than me in like, every single way possible?" He joked, reaching down and pulling up his pants leg and revealing his leg prosthetic. Wasn't anything cool like Gordon's, and definitely wasn't fully  _ automated _ , but it was still cool in his book. Almost immediately, Gordon groaned and covered his face.

"I  _ knew _ you were gonna go there! I-- I didn't plan this, you know!" He grinned, almost pushing John over had he not stumbled and grabbed onto him for balance. Whoops. Still had to get used to his strength. "Not saying you planned your leg or anything but-- but still, man! I went through hell!"

"I figured so! You look like shit." Gordon opened his mouth, ready to say something back, but nothing smart came. Instead, he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. Luckily, it was no longer greasy and tangled. He had the privilege of being able to shower, finally. He couldn't let Joshua come home and see him in such a state, he had to take some time to at least somewhat look like he had his life together, but it seems he was still failing in that department.

"Yeah? I feel like shit, too."

John pat him on the back, and Gordon bent down to lay his head on his shoulder. "You know, I still love you, right? I dunno what happened back there, but you coming back was way more than any of us could ask for." He turned and rested his face on his hair. Similar to a kiss, but not quite. Old family habits die hard.

Benrey sputtered and coughed, choking out some high pitched Sweet Voice then raising his hands to desperately swat it away. Unfortunately, Tommy had already seen the colours.

"Dark green that-- that rings like a bell, means I'm jealous as hell!" He read outloud, much to Benrey's hiss for him to be quiet. John ducked his head to the side to whisper.

"So, you gonna introduce me to your weird friends and that one that keeps spitting out balls, or should I assume I'm hallucinating?"

Gordon barked out a laugh, lifting his head to cover his mouth with his hand in hopes of stifling the rest of his boisterous laugh. He waved his hand in a vague gesture, then gasped in enough air to collect himself.

It took a while, but eventually they made it through introductions with only a  _ few _ interruptions. John caught up Gordon on what happened while he was away, and Gordon had a nice healthy breakdown on missing so much of Joshua's life and making everyone so upset because he was away. Then, Gordon gave John the most basic of breakdowns on what happened, mostly ending up saying "Some shit when down at work, Bubby and Benrey got my arm cut off, but then I forgave them and Bubby and Tommy's dad made me a new arm so I'm good now"

Luckily John was able to roll with that explanation. 

"So, where does everyone live? I can drop you all off if you need, I gotta head out for the night anyway." John whistled, spinning his keys around his finger.

"Oh, we were-- we were going to figure something out, John Freeman!" Tommy smiled, waving him off. "See you around!"

John gave Gordon a glance, then sighed playfully and left.

It took a while of vague back and forths, but eventually, Gordon grew too tired of trying to decipher what the fuck Tommy meant and retired to bed. He'd ask in the morning, when he  _ wasn't _ fresh off an anxiety attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes john freeman doesnt have a leg and yes i based that off the full life consequences vids because dude Does Not Run he literally ONLY walks fast


	3. Chapter 3

He woke up early, again. Painfully early. It was maybe 3 o'clock.

Black Mesa had done that to him. He couldn't spend more than an hour or two asleep before randomly waking up, scanning the room to make sure everyone was still there, still breathing, still asleep, and that no one new had joined them. Even now he knew that when he sat up, there would be no one in his room, but that didn't stop him from panicking as his bleary eyes swept through the semi-dark, empty room. Was his room this big before? Was his night light that dim and far away? His breath picked up and he knotted his hands in the sheets. Yes. Sheets. He didn't have covers back in Black Mesa. Always slept on the ground. This was comfy. No need to panic.

It slowly started to calm down, until he saw two unnaturally glowing eyes staring back at him. It only made his anxiety spike for a second, but he still blurted out "What the fuck, Benrey?" before he could figure out why he was there.

"yo." Was all the guard said at first, standing up from  _ whatever _ he managed to sit on just to go over to his bed and crouch. He somehow walked more distance than what actually existed in his room. "you're uh. not s'posed to be awake."

Gordon clicked his tongue, closing his eyes and leaning back in bed. "I know. You know. Black Mesa shit." He said, waving his hands vaguely before settling into a short, two-word sentence. Didn't know if Benrey knew the sign or not, but the signs were honestly simple enough that anyone could recognize what he was saying.

"want me to. use the voice? Sweet Voice™ ass-mur?" Sometimes he really hated Benrey, because he really wasn't happy with the fact that he understood that Benrey was just saying 'ASMR' that quickly.

But… did he? He hadn't been using it willy nilly on ever since he started on his path to recovery… And also yelled at him to calm it down with the Sweet Voice because he was getting more pissed at being forced to calm down than actually letting him calm himself down. Gordon sighed, then reached to the nightstand and picked up his phone. It was nearing morning, anyway, he would be up soon.

"No, um…" he mumbled, sitting up fully this time and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. "M' gonna go… Take a drive, actually. Clear my head. Thanks for the offer though, Benrey." He stood, and Benrey crawled onto his bed, immediately clambering under his covers and shifting so only his eyes peeked out

"sweet, Gordo warmth. night night bro, don't uh. steal." He said dumbly, then, after a pause, where Gordon awkwardly stood in front of his closet, shifted so he faced away. "can I take off my. helmet?"

"Never gotta ask me, man. Let loose." Gordon shrugged off his sleeping shirt and threw on another shirt. Comfortable shitty graphic T that he wasn't sure where it came from. Probably just appeared in his closet one day and he never bothered to ask about it. But hey, it fit. "Wait, no, don't get  _ too _ loose. Don't want a fuckin'-- fuckin' giantass security guard in my house, man. Scare Joshua and you'll never see the light of day again."

Benrey was quiet for a while. A long time. Gordon shucked off his pants and replaced them with cargo shorts, just as he heard the sound of something thunking onto the ground and Benrey shifting under the covers.

"pog." He finally said, voice halfway distant, and Gordon sighed. If the dude just wanted to sleep, he could have just asked if they could share a bed. He'd only hesitate a  _ little _ before giving in.

Speaking of hesitating, Gordon stood at the side of his bed for a little while longer, hand outstretched to Benrey's form under the covers. After an awkward second or two of just standing there, he pressed down on where he assumed Benrey's head was, patting him twice then turning to leave. Had to start somewhere.

A quick trip to Joshua's room first. Just had to. He opened the door just a tad and peeked in, seeing nothing but the gentle light of glow in the dark stickers littering the ceiling at first, before spotting Joshua curled up in bed with… Sunkist.

She lifted her head and tilted it slightly, then laid back down and gently nudged Joshua's face with her nose until he shifted more in his sleep and dawned a comfortable, happy expression. Okay, well… he could accept that. Sunkist was the perfect dog, he could trust her with Joshie. Wasn't going to question how she managed to open and close the door behind her, though. Nope.

After a pitstop in the bathroom, Gordon went to the living room and mentally did a double take at how long he'd been walking from the bathroom to the living room. Must still be tired then.

Bubby and Coomer were curled up on his sofa sleeper, and Tommy was scrunched up on his loveseat. He'd only be more concerned if he was asleep, but instead he was wide awake, typing away at his phone. Gordon gave a small wave as he grabbed his keys, and Tommy's head snapped up at the noise.

"You're leaving?" He mouthed, and Gordon shrugged.

"On a drive." He mouthed back, and Tommy seemingly accepted that answer, giving him another one of his bright smiles before turning back to his phone and typing again.

Gordon nodded, slipped on some old gym shoes, and left the house. He went down into his garage with his head ducked and mind wandering, unlocking his car, stepping instead, and pulling off onto the road.

Driving did wonders for clearing his mind. He didn't exactly know when it started, but he wasn't really there to think about that. He just wanted to just drive out, let his body take him someplace to just let his mind wander. Probably get a smoothie and sip it while parked just outside a beach. Yeah. That sounded nice.

… Black Mesa sucked.

There, he said it. Just to make sure, he said "Black Mesa  _ sucked _ ." out loud to make the thought stronger.

He had some therapy sessions. Plenty of them, twice a week. Found out that while they were helpful for a bit, they weren't exactly for him to have so often. He took the medicine they prescribed-- well, he was supposed to. Forgot them today. Could just take them when he came back home, there was no punishment for taking them late.

Sessions were now twice a month. It was suggested he'd get a therapy dog, and while it was tempting, he just didn't have the space for a dog. Sure, his house wasn't small in the slightest, but he was a fan of big dogs. Not as big as five-foot-tall Sunkist, but big, boofy ones with floppy ears and an ever wagging tail. He was sure Sunkist wasn't comfortable in the place, the hallways were slightly more narrow than he would like. He did have a backyard, but that would probably have to be bigger if she wanted to run around… so, uh, big no on the therapy dog thing.

… Though, he could at least ask Tommy for suggestions. He always had some.

A honk knocked him out of his thoughts and he instinctively pressed down on the gas, just to immediately let up as he realized there was a car in front of him. It was stopped at a stop sign. The car behind him wasn't honking at him, but that didn't stop him from slightly panicking about it. The car in front finally moved and Gordon swallowed, pressing just a bit more on the gas. Get your smoothie and get to the beach, Gordon.

That, he did.

It took a little bit, but he got his blueberry mango smoothie, and was currently parked just outside a beach. Wondered why he and Joshua didn't go here that often. It wasn't super far out. Oh, but wait no. Joshua didn't like the texture of wet sand on his feet. He was fine with touching it with his hands and even made the best sand castles with elaborate stories behind them, but the moment wet sand got under his sandals or into his shoe, he'd shut down until it was all cleaned away and he walked around on concrete barefoot until he erased all the feeling of wet sand. Usually spelled the end for Beach Day anyway. It was a shame, since the kid absolutely loved watching the little fish swim around when he sat on the pier, and would excitedly chat to him about eels, even though they only ever saw  _ one _ and he wasn't sure if it should have ever been there in the first place.

Maybe he could find a clean pond nearby. He'd love to see how Joshua would react to being able to see more tiny fish, clear water… frogs, too! Frogs, and maybe newts or salamanders…

Gulping down the rest of his smoothie to the calming sounds of the ocean crashing up onto the sand of the empty beach, Gordon placed the empty cup in the cupholder and turned the car back on. Time to head home, he spent enough time out on the drive.

He needed it, honestly. Felt nice. But he spent enough time away from Joshua, he missed him.

Black Mesa had been hell to him. Between the aliens, the security guards fending for no one but themselves and having no problem turning a gun on them in the blink of an eye, the military gunning them down, the booming airstrikes that deafened him for a while, the grenades and soda cans that looked  _ too much _ like grenades, his… his arm…. Fuck. Everything was so much. It took him so fucking long to try to get better.

Get better for Joshua. He had gone to work one day, and just didn't return. To come home and see all of John's frantic texts, missed calls, voice messages, and even a few messy texts and voice messages from  _ Joshua _ sent him into strong depression that only therapy could have fixed. He told them as much as he could when he finally got around to it. Told them he was safe and fine, that he was okay and loved them. It was only slightly a lie.

He spent the time adjusting to his new arm. It was trapped under the HEV suit, so he hadn't had the chance to ever look at it, but once the suit came off and he saw that what was once flesh and bone was now metal, it was totally fine to say he freaked out. Just a little. It took a bit of explaining, and some weird phantom pains, for him to adjust. Bubby apologized, then admitted to siding with Gman to get the thing as close as possible to the real deal. Apparently, he was hoping that just meant to give his original arm back, but Gman had just taken him to the side and had him make him a prosthetic arm before fusing it to Gordon's body forever. It was unsure how that even fucking happened, but Gman was the only one with answers, and he was far too cryptic to track down and ask.

He spent the rest of the time cleaning up the house. It wasn't messy when he left it last, but he needed something to help him clear his mind. The Science team was happy to help.

Until Benrey showed up. His presence was detrimental to his strongest breakdown yet, that left him in a… For lack of better words, fucked up state. Couldn't leave his bedroom for a week. Maybe longer. Wouldn't let anyone open the door, and would only sneak out to snatch a water bottle Dr. Coomer left out for him. It took a while of sitting by the door, listening to Benrey explaining himself, apologizing for getting Gordon's hand off, and having to be the Bad Guy at the end even though he didn't want to, and even talking to the eldritch being through the door before he finally forgave him enough to have a face-to-face conversation.

It was what his therapist said. Face his problems head on instead of just apologising or letting it fester.

Switching his brain from Work Mode to Family Mode had always been difficult, and right now thinking about those dark times... he didn't want to go home and end up distressing Joshua  _ or _ the Science Team. Everything just felt wrong, too little and too much at the same time. He could feel how heavy his foot was on the gas, but judging by the meter he wasn't speeding at all. He didn't feel his seatbelt resting on him, but if he looked down or pat his chest, he knew it was there. He felt like he was floating. Felt like his eyes were able to zoom in and out, that if he just bent forward he'd curl into a ball. He couldn't focus.

He was driving four-thousand pounds of metal at 65 miles an hour into traffic right now, and he wasn't focused enough to do so. God, he needed to get off the road,  _ now _ .

Twitchy hands flicked on his turn signal and he merged into the furthest lane, pulling out into a parking lot and all but slamming his head into the steering wheel once the car stopped. He couldn't ignore all the honking that streaked past him, the angry yells, the shouts. It was so much. It was too much. Gordon rolled up the windows, locked the doors three times, then sighed. Well, if this wasn't a shitty place and a half to have a breakdown.

Gordon dug into his pants pocket, cringing at the texture on his fingers as he tugged his phone free and unlocked it. Tommy was awake still, right? He hoped so.

He sent him a text.

'Hey, Tommy. Had to make a quick stop, you think everyone would want a drink or something while I'm out? On me.' He felt terrible, but he had to make some excuse for why his trip home was longer than usual. And, as the minutes ticked by with no answer, Gordon locked and unlocked his phone five more times as if that would quell his stupid anxiety attack.

'That sounds lovely, Mr. Freeman! :) Benrey likes blue raspberry drinks, Dr. Coomer likes green apple, Bubby likes peach drinks, and Sunkist likes strawberry coolattas, just like me! What does Joshua like to drink? Hope you feel better soon, Gordon. -- Tommy'

He turned off his phone again just to hear the click, then stared down at the message with a calmed sigh. He knew. He had to know. Tommy didn't just say his first name like that, he barely ever did, let alone text it. Gordon chuckled a bit and sent back a quick 'Thank you, Tommy. He likes banana smoothies.' and tossed the phone onto the passenger seat. Finally calm enough to even think about looking outside the car, he blinked through the blur of his slightly smudged glasses at the strip mall he accidentally parked in.

Well, there was a Dunkin Donuts right here. Might as well get some. And there was a store right next door. If he didn't have anymore jitters by the time he was done, he'd check it out. See if they had some cashews for Joshua, as an extra apology for not being home yet. Kid loved those things.

Luckily, no one else was in the shop when he came in, and the cashier was pretty understanding and patient as he ordered various different drinks. Strawberry Coolattas still fucking sucked. Sorry, Tommy.. It would only take a few minutes for everything to be ready, so he opted to stay and sit at one of the tables and flip through his phone. The only thing he even did was open up reddit and sit on the front page, staring off into the distance until his name was called and he grabbed his two trays of drinks and dropped it off in the car. Hopefully they wouldn't melt.

His brain was rotting, or something. Felt like it, at least. Felt like that hard as he struggled to understand how to price some cashews and a handful of fidget toys he got on a whim. It didn't matter, he knew. He was just going to buy them regardless of the price. But for that very reason, he  _ needed  _ to know the price.

It was twelve dollars.

His front door was unlocked when he tried it, and before he got to toe off his shoes, fast paced thumping rushed to him and an entire child wrapped around his leg. Just like yesterday, but in reverse. 

Joshua cheered, jumping up and plucking one of the trays from his arm and carefully running off to set it on the counter… That he didn't quite reach yet. He turned to Bubby, who was awake now it seemed, and gestured. Luckily enough, Tommy got the gist and went over to Gordon instead.

"Joshie," Was all Gordon got to say on the matter, as Tommy showed up, grabbing the tray and single bag from his arm. "Thanks, man. I owe ya one."

"No." Tommy turned on his heel with a beautiful smile and set everything down, helping Joshua set out the drinks. He had set the tray on the chair instead, and while he had to give it to him for his problem solving skills, it still didn't belong there. "I-- I knew, so it's okay! No need for thanks, we wanted to."

Dr. Coomer held Joshua's hand and led him off to the bathroom, turning to Gordon. "I'm taking this little cowboy to wash his hands!" He said proudly, and Gordon couldn't help his slearly teary-eyed smile.

"Thanks, Dr. Coomer." He said, then paused.

Wait, no, everything looked weird.

"What the fuck is up with my house?" He asked, turning to Bubby and Benrey as Bubby passed the eldritch being his blue raspberry drink and sat on the couch.

"Eh-ehn," Bubby shrugged, though he very much knew what was going on, based on how he quickly looked away. Gordon glared, then looked at Tommy. Tommy couldn't lie to him.

"What's up with my house, Tommy? Why is everything huge? It's like I walked into a new house or something."

Tommy smiled, just as Sunkist easily padded up to them both. The hallway was double her size now or something, she could walk sideways and wouldn't be worried about bumping the walls. Tommy pulled her water dish to the counter and opened up her coolatta, pouring its contents into the bowl and setting it back on the floor for her to drink. "We-- I made it bigger!" He looked so proud of himself. "I was-- I asked my dad for help, and the house-- the house next to yours was empty, so we just had them merged! Now-- now there's a lot more space, and we-- we can be roommates!"

"oh my god, they were roommates." Benrey added, and Gordon tried to not choke on his second blueberry mango smoothie of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cowboys!  
> (Includes a nerf gun fight)

Luckily, before Gordon could freak out over the impossibility (but apparently, reality) of  _ merging _ houses, Dr. Coomer returned with Joshua happily jumping down the hallway. Once he was spotted, Joshua ran up to him and lifted his hands towards the counter, and Gordon wordlessly hoisted him up into a seat and let him pick up his smoothie.

"Hello, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer boomed, setting a heavy, comforting hand on Gordon's back. Gordon tried to not show how heavy the hit was, but mostly failed. He heard Bubby laugh in the living room. "Your boy is wonderful. He showed me a gesture!"

"Oh yeah? Lil Joshie's in a no-talk mood, that's fine. What'd he do?" 

Coomer paused, then extended his right hand, tapping his thumb to his forehead then moving his hand out in two semi-awkward arches. He turned to Joshua for confirmation, and the kid nodded with a small smile.

Gordon chuckled airly, grabbing for the bag he got from the store. He set out the canister of cashews and Joshua lit up, trying to grab for it, but he was much quicker and poured out a small portion onto a napkin. "You should be flattered. He's considering you as a grandparent, Dr. Coomer." He said at last, looking up just in time to see the scientist look at Joshua again, but with wide eyes full of emotion.

Joshua was far too enraptured by crushing up and eating cashews to really notice the loving look, but it didn't matter. Dr. Coomer laughed, softly, his warm smile seemingly never-ending now.

"I've… never been called that before. It's-- thank you, Joshua. I'd love to be your grandparent!" He admitted. Joshua finally turned around, kicking his feet absently before raising his hands in an X over his chest, then repeated the sign for 'grandpa'. After only a second of consideration, he finished the sentence by just pointing. He didn't really know how to spell 'Coomer' yet, but that was fine. Coomer looked at Gordon for a translation, but didn't need to, as Joshua turned and did a slightly similar action and opened his arms for a hug.

"Aww, love you too, Joshie! You done with your cashews?" 

Oh boy, would you look at that. Dr. Coomer's slushie was uh...wet. Looks like he had to take the entire thing into one of the many guest rooms and fix that. You know. So it doesn't get any wetter. He excused himself with a small sniffle, and Gordon sighed.

"Think you came on a little strong there, buddy. You barely know the guy! I mean, I trust your judgement, he's a good friend, but still."

Joshua made a noise that didn't really explain anything, scooping up the rest of his destroyed cashews into his mouth then passing him his now empty cup. Good thing he got him a small. He dusted his hands off on a clean napkin, then jumped off the chair to toddle off towards his room.

"Goin' to your room?" Gordon called out, not really looking at him as he dumped the napkins and rinsed out his cup to toss into recycling, and Joshua knocked on the wall to get his attention. He looked up, saw the mischievous glint in his eye, and recognized right away what the little man was planning as he signed 'cowboys'. "Oh no."

"What's wrong, Mr. Freeman?" Came Tommy's voice, and Gordon rushed into the living room, reaching behind the very chair Tommy was sitting on and grabbing something. Sunkist stood up and nudged Tommy's leg.

"Cowboy time." Was all Gordon said, pulling out a hidden container of nerf guns. He picked up one, entirely ignoring the odd feeling that traveled down his spine at holding something so close to a gun. It was a damn toy, calm down Gordon.

Oh wait.

"cowboys?" 

"Cowboy time. We have maybe ten minutes to prepare, it takes him awhile to get the cowboy outfit on but he  _ will _ come for you." He set the box in the middle of the room, waving to it dismissively "Nerf up if you wanna join, and meet in the backyard. It's cowboy time."

He made a quick stop to his room to take his medicine, which he  _ remembered _ finally. Probably should make an alarm for that. It would take a second to take effect, but with all the running around hopefully that would speed things up. Oh yeah, and his black cowboy hat. It was a bit plastic and floppy, but Joshua  _ loved _ the thing so he'd wear it. 

He left his room and cracked the door some, then heard Tommy saying something to Sunkist before the dog bounded down the hallway and stopped at Joshua's door. She sat on her haunches, lifted a massive paw, and shakily turned the door handle until the door slipped open and she nosed the rest of the way in and slapped the door closed with her tail.

Gordon had watched  _ all _ of that.

What the fuck.

He heard Joshua squeal happily and knew his time was dwindling though and ran to the backdoor, stopping short when he noticed all the nerf guns were missing and no one was in the living room. Couldn't stop the small smile from appearing on his face… Well, until he went to his backyard and swiftly remembered that he technically had  _ two _ backyards now. Twice the amount of trees, hiding spaces, play equipment… goodness, what all had they done!?

"psst, bro!"

"What?" He whispered, following Benrey's voice and finding him hidden behind a small (useless) shed. He waved him even closer and stood back to give some room, and-- oh my god, he was wearing a bandana around his face. He held out a second one, which was-- they were  _ both _ one of Gordon's hair bandanas he sometimes wore while cleaning, but he never once thought about wearing it to a cowboy showdown.

"join me?" Benrey's eyes crinkled like he grinned, cat-like pupils expanding. "if not I gotta uh. tell you to leave."

"Oh my god," was all he could say, grabbing the bandana and handing Benrey his nerf gun so he could tie it around his face. The official cowboy look. He almost couldn't stop laughing, problem not fixed as Benrey kept stopping his own quiet laughter to shush him.

It was only worsened by Joshua bounding outside on  _ Sunkist's back, riding her like a horse _ . He was decked out in his cowboy outfit, tip to toe with even a small white vest and a slightly too-big white hat, and they just lost it. Joshua aimed his toy at him with a giggle of pure evil, and he knew it was over.

Almost immediately, Gordon and Benrey ended up being Joshua's deputies, which was perfect because Gordon couldn't quell the unease that crawled up his throat at the idea of pointing a gun (toy or not) at his own child. Sunkist was having a blast acting as a horse, and was the perfect size of one too. He had to hold onto her collar most of the time, but she was stable enough to run around as they dodged oncoming enemy fire.

Tommy, unsurprisingly, was still trigger-happy and didn't hesitate a second before firing his entire supply of foam bullets at Benrey, who dramatically fell much to the playful demise of Joshua.

"bro they got me," Benrey groaned, rolling onto his back. "this is such a disappointment. you gotta-- you gotta avenge me, Joshie."

Joshua grunted with a determined look, then grabbed Sunkist's collar and charged Tommy head on, knocking him to the ground under the sheer girth of the massive, lovable dog. He collapsed with nothing but laughter, pleading for mercy as Sunkist licked his face. Benrey slowly crouch-walked up behind him, and Tommy gasped. "I- I thought you were dead!" He giggled, and Benrey swallowed down some Sweet Voice. Couldn't do that with Joshua there.

"Yeah, but I got better."

Gordon dodged Bubby's dive to scoop up Tommy's lost ammo and shot wildly, missing mostly on purpose and almost because Bubby was  _ laughing  _ rolling around in the grass and that was so distracting to see him actually having fun that he didn't have the heart to stop him.

Then, he turned, aimed straight for the back of Joshua's vest, and shot.

"Look out, Joshua!" Came two voices, and as Gordon tackled Bubby, Joshua was swooped up into the air and Sunkist fell with a boof as the foam bullet bounced harmlessly off her fur. Joshua's eyes went wide as he was held in the air, way higher than Dr. Coomer's normal reach, and he called out in barely suppressed excitement and pure fun.

"I saved you!" Dr. Coomer said proudly, looking up to the squirmy kid as his extendo-arms held on tight. He was a lively one, he could say that. "I know we're sworn enemies, but--"

He didn't finish his sentence, as he saw the upside down version of Joshua signing 'love' before getting excited about being held up so high again and flapping his arms, and he collapsed. Not hard at all, just gently fell back and lowered Joshua onto the ground.

"You've done it, you've killed me!"

"He got you, Dr. Coomer?" Gordon laughed out, not even attempting to get out of Bubby's pin. The dude was  _ too _ strong, it wasn't fair.

"Killed me with kindness!" He called again, grinning and giggling as Joshua climbed on top of him, shaking his shoulders. "Oh no, now he's desecrating me!"

The kid really liked him, huh? It made his heart swell, laughing a little bit more before Bubby shifted to try to grab their dropped nerf guns. "Bubby-- Joshie, s-stop! You got one more target, I'm down, help!" he squealed, wiggling around as Bubby snarled.

"Stop moving you ape!" He slapped the back of Gordon's head with maybe no more force than one would just pat something, but Gordon cried out and collapsed anyway as if he knocked him out. "Oh. I didn't think you'd actually stop moving--"

A foam bullet boinked off the side of his head, and Bubby turned wide eyes to Joshua, standing tall and serious as he trained his bright orange gun at his head. He fired again, and Bubby fell back, scooting off Gordon with a quiet "wait, sorry, fuck" before laying still.

Joshua surveyed the carnage around him.

Benrey was long dead (but he got better), Tommy suffocated under Sunkist, Sunkist got taken out, Coomer collapsed from too much love, Gordon was knocked out, and he took down Bubby. Everyone was laid out in a sea of orange foam bullets that would take ages to clean up.

He ran over to Gordon and shook his shoulders, and Gordon groaned, lifting his head and tugging his bandana off. "Hey, buddy. You-- you did it. You took them all out." He smiled, sitting up and holding out his hands.

"C-c-cowboys!" Joshua almost forced out, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. "Daddy!"

"Alright guys, Cowboys is over, y'all can get up."

"Last one inside has to clean the yard!" Bubby raced off well before he had even finished talking, and Gordon scooped Joshua into his arms and followed close behind, yelling that he wasn't being fair.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey spits up sweet voice  
> Benrey also has a slight panic attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With every chapter i just go "y'all can have some more fluff, as a treat" even though the entire fic is fluff

Benrey shuffled into the kitchen, swallowing down a heavy, sour taste on his tongue. He stared at Gordon's back as the man was busy cooking dinner for them all, after Benrey and Sunkist volunteered (aka, was too slow in realizing that they had a chance to  _ not _ clean) to clean up the yard after their nerf battle. Something started happening to him, and Tommy was too busy playing beyblades with Joshua and Coomer and Bubby were too busy trying to memorize more wikipedia articles for him to ask them about it.

So, Gordon was his best bet, even though he was  _ also _ busy. He let the kitchen door close behind him and Gordon stood up a bit, now aware someone was with him. "yo."

"What's up?" Gordon mumbled, not looking up as he stirred a pot of spaghetti. He didn't really recognize the voice until a second or two of silence passed, only the sound of boiling water and then the sink running could be heard. "Need somethin', Benrey?"

"uh." Benrey spat into the sink, and Gordon looked up quickly, dropping the wooden spoon onto the counter to rub and pat Benrey's back. The sink was a splatter of colours, rushing sticklily down the drain as he wiped his mouth clean. "dunno what to uh. do abt this."

He actually said 'a-b-t' out loud, but Gordon wasn't worried about that. He turned off the pot and drummed his fingers on Benrey's back. "Are you-- is that choking you, or something? How long has this been going on?"

Benrey hummed then ducked his head into the sink, bumping his helmet against the faucet as he spat out more Sweet Voice. He didn't notice Gordon taking his helmet off and setting it to the side. "augh. bad." He coughed, turning his head to try to wash his mouth out of the syrupy fluid. He tried to dig his claws into his mouth to scrape it out, but Gordon grabbed his hand and stopped him short. "uh. while. can I... sing?"

"What? Why are you asking?" He rubbed his back again as Benrey gagged, then sputtered and hissed as a spray of a mix of colours filled the sink as if someone went buck wild with a few cans of spray paint. The acrid smell of…  _ something _ came from his mouth with it, akin to the scent if far too much citrus. "Dude have-- have you just not been singing? Is that what's happening?" His free hand grabbed the nozzle from off the faucet, spraying away the mess of Sweet (sour?) Voice.

"wh? nah uh. didn't want your… kid to be um…" he trailed off with a groan, and Gordon stood up straight and peeked into the living room.

"Tommy, can you handle the rest of dinner? I gotta talk to Benrey outside."

Tommy looked up from his beyblade collection and excused himself to Joshua, standing up and going into the kitchen with a smile and nod. Gordon gave him a quick thanks, turned off the sink, grabbed Benrey's helmet and ushered him outside.

As soon as he stepped on the grass, Gordon pulled away and set his helmet down.

"Sing."

"hu-- wh?" Benrey choked, spitting onto the grass. Hopefully that was environmentally safe. "like what? got-- got any suggestions? got a queue, top ten--?"

"Just use your Sweet Voice you wonderful pain in the ass." He slapped Benrey's back, and the guard cackled until his voice cut off into a deep, rumbling buzz.

It made Gordon shake to the core, as if he was standing in front of a massive speaker at a booming party even though he was only standing beside Benrey. Sweet Voice sludge dripped from between his teeth, leaking and collecting in a oozy, brownish grey pile in the grass. It smelled like molasses and burned sugar, and Gordon turned away, trying not to gag.

The buzz lifted but was just cut off by a sharp hiss of almost-static, a mist of more Sweet Voice shooting from his mouth like an aerosol can. Now that it was outside, the overbearing scent of citrus easily overpowered the burnt-sugar of the sludge from before. Gentle wind blew the mist back, splattering against the wooden fence and (hopefully not) staining it.

It sounded painful, and felt painful, as no matter how much Gordon covered his ears he could still hear the static. Then finally, as Benrey raised his head and focused, it collected into a familiar orb. It was wobbly and barely held its shape, but as he kept singing, his voice could finally be heard and a rainbow of colours filled and danced around the yard.

Bright blues, yellows, pinks and oranges, greens, purples, and red of every shade and combination possible. His voice was loud, powerful, but soothing. Meanings Gordon had no clue of twinkling and winking about the backyard as Benrey aimlessly walked, singing out his feelings.

It was beautiful. Gordon just found himself standing in the middle of it all, looking around at the many colours as they floated just out of reach. He wasn't sure if it was wise to touch such concentrated amounts of the stuff, but the temptation was there. He didn't have the heart to run back and grab Tommy to translate, but he felt there was nothing  _ to _ translate.

Of course, all things good had to come to an end, as Benrey turned and sang out a singular orb of a green-to-blue ombre directly onto his face. It didn't pop and splatter like the ones from earlier, just poofed into a small puff of smoke that smelled and tasted faintly like kiwis and blueberries. It made him buzz a bit in an emotion he couldn't exactly place, but it was pleasant. Like… A hug? Sweet Voice that felt like a hug.

"thank you." Benrey said, rubbing the back of his neck before pausing and tapping his head. He didn't notice when his helmet fell off, but apparently it did. He didn't see it around him, though, but before his panic could start up, he felt the familiar comfort of it pressing down against his head and sighed. More orbs of the same colour drifted from his mouth freely.

"What?" Gordon replied dumbly once he pulled away, drumming his fingers on his metallic arm. Liked the sound.

"'s what it means. 'thank you'." Benrey repeated, adjusting his helmet to make sure it was snug. "didn't uh… sing around Joshua because, didn't want him to… think I was. big bad. weird freak, 0/10 IGN."

Gordon would have snorted at the odd sentence had he not known that the other was being serious, and sighed instead. Benrey was weird, sure, but so was he. He was definitely not a freak, though, no matter who said it, when, or where. He didn't… Say that, though. Didn't have the heart too, was too much of a coward. "Hey, how about you join me tonight when I'm tucking in Joshua?"

"wh?" He chirped out some teal Sweet Voice, and Gordon silently remembered that it meant  _ multiple _ things. Could be hungry, or could be surprised. Both things could fit right about now. "really? thought I was uh-- bad? no good close to uh, kids? don't wanna hurt."

"You aren't bad, dude." He finally said, turning around just as Tommy poked his head out to tell them that dinner was done. "Just, trust me, will ya?"

Benrey took his word for it.

Though Gordon had started it all, Tommy made some mean spaghetti and meatballs. Bubby found out that hot sauce was a thing and that very much existed, and it was near impossible to wrestle it away from him when he realized he could technically 'eat fire' now. But, as it were, Joshua was the first the yawn.

"Tired, buddy?" Gordon spoke up, having finished his plate already while Bubby was slowly regretting putting so much hot sauce on his spaghetti. Who even did that in the first place?

"Mmhmm," Joshua pushed his plate away, and Gordon stood, grabbing his and Joshua's plates and rinsing them off just to leave them in the sink. He'd clean them later. "Hands?"

He nodded, and Joshua hopped off the seat, tiredly stumbling towards the bathroom without another word. Gordon looked back. "Benrey?"

Benrey looked up from his empty and somehow sparkling clean plate, eyes wide as he saw Gordon wave at him from down the hall right before the two disappeared into the bathroom.

"oh fuck." He whispered, grabbing his plate and dumping it into the sink. "oh shit."

"Benrey, are you okay?"

"fine." He squeaked, rushing down the hall as Dr. Coomer hummed and handed Bubby a glass of milk. He downed it without a second thought.

When Benrey caught up, Gordon had just gotten Joshua into his room. Kid was so tired from playing that Gordon had to set him in bed himself, handing him FruitSalad to hug onto. Gordon spared him a quick glance and tilt of the head, and Benrey nodded. 

"Hey kiddo, think you can stay up for another minute? Benrey here wants to show you something really cool." Gordon's voice was so soft, and Joshua nodded, sitting up and carefully placing FruitSalad in his lap so he could also watch. Benrey shuffled in place.

"so-- uh, what…" He blinked as Gordon walked over to the wall, switching the light off. The nightlight automatically turned on, and little dots showed themselves on the ceiling. "oh."

"Think you can make a colour similar to that?"

Definitely. "Maybe."

Benrey started to hum, and Joshua gave a calm smile, expecting to hear someone new sing him to sleep. Just before he went to lay down to get comfortable, lights started to drift from Benrey's mouth, mimicking the glow in the dark star stickers spread across the ceiling. But, it was better. Way better.

The lights were brighter, some switching colour, coming out blue or a faint yellow, and Joshua quietly gasped. He stood up in bed as Benrey continued, eyes closed and filling the room with sparkling Sweet Voice that gave everything an otherworldly glow. The Sweet Voice didn't stay in place, each orb slightly wobbling where it floated before popping into a small puff of smoke, fading away into nothingness.

Benrey opened his eyes on the last few notes, just for his voice to catch in his throat at the absolute enjoyment and admiration in the kids eyes as he stared at his Sweet Voice. He gave Gordon a quick look, waiting for something, he wasn't sure what, but he just smiled at him. That same, calm, happy smile that he always had around his kid. Having it turned to him for once was amazing.

The guard carefully went up to Joshua as the kid finally tore his eyes from the lightshow above, and gently grabbed his hands. They were so small compared to his, so fragile. He had to protect this kid with his life now. He cupped them together, then sang out a singular note. Electric blue Sweet Voice bounced in his hands and Joshua gasped, pulling the orb close to him and staring at it like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. He didn't try for that colour, but it was fine. Neither of them knew what it meant, anyway.

Joshua looked up at the rest of the Sweet Voice and raised his hands, gently tossing the orb Benrey gave him to join the rest as they slowly popped and faded away. Eventually, the room grew dark, and Joshua climbed out of bed, rushing up to Benrey with nowfound energy, and wrapping around his leg in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Ben-- ben…" Joshua lifted his head and looked to Gordon, who whispered 'benrey' at him. Determined, he turned back, giving the biggest, sweetest smile to the eldritch being. "Thank you, Benny! Like your Star Song."

Benrey sniffled and patted his back from where he stood, and Joshua pulled away to yawn again. Gordon scooped him up into his arms again and laid him down once more, but this time as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. I

Gordon kissed his forehead, set FruitSalad next to him, and waved for Benrey to follow him outside. The moment the door was fully closed, Benrey wrapped his arms around Gordon and buried his face into his chest. He was going to ask if everything was okay, but when Benrey sniffled again and pressed even harder into the embrace, he sighed and returned it.

"Told you." He said, rubbing Benrey's back. They should probably get out the hallway, but he couldn't pull away. Not yet, at least. "You're not bad. Not anymore. I… I don't think you ever were, just… Forced to act like it."

"…'s so small." Benrey eventually choked out, but didn't elaborate further. Didn't think he needed to, either. More electric blue trailed from his mouth, some popping against Gordon's shirt, and few others breaking free to float around them. Gordon sighed and closed his eyes. This one was different. Felt different, stronger than a hug.

Felt like… protection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me projecting onto Benrey: must have something covering head at All Times or you Die


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets play the game of "who am i projecting onto now"

Gordon opened his eyes.

He had… just woke up. Wasn't the first time that just randomly happened to him, waking up without meaning to, or having a reason for being up in the first place. Seemed like a tie over from Black Mesa. He blinked around his bedroom for a few seconds, staring at the far wall as the sun started to rise. Window to his back, night light automatically shut off again. He… still didn't like pure darkness. He was a man that turned the lights off after leaving a room, but he quickly had to fight that urge when he plunged the bathroom into darkness and ended up having a panic attack so severe he needed Dr. Coomer to physically drag him out.

He could feel Benrey's back pressed against his, could hear him mumble out a bit of Sweet Voice every now and then. He was entirely under the cover, so Gordon couldn't see what the colours were even if he turned around, but he didn't really fret. It was just a Benrey thing.

He'd asked him about how he always claimed his bed after he left, even mentioning that they had multiple rooms now that could be used for anything, but eventually he got the straight answer.

Benrey was just used to sleeping around people. After so long of being alone, living in Black Mesa, and finally finding a group to lay down with, even if that was during what felt like the end of the world, even if he didn't sleep at the time, it meant a lot to him. So much that he couldn't shake it, so he would wait until Gordon left to get some of that feeling back. Of course he just told the idiot that they could just  _ share a bed  _ if it meant that much to him, and right away Benrey realized how dumb he'd been not realizing that they could just  _ do _ that. They were adults. Adults could share a damn bed.

A loud alarm woke him from his thoughts, and Gordon flinched, immediately sitting upright and snatching his phone from off the table. He heard Benrey groan from behind him but ignored it.

Oh.

School.

He forgot it'd only been two and a half days. Joshua had come back home on a Friday night, then spent Saturday and Sunday getting his fill of a much bigger… Family. Hah. It was weird, thinking that word. But, the past two days were some of the happiest he'd seen Joshua in a long time, so he couldn't ever be upset. He put on his glasses and grabbed his medicine bottle, slamming back a pill with a hearty swig of slightly stale water from a bottle he kept forgetting to refill.

"Whuff," Gordon grunted, standing from the bed and looking at his closet. Black Mesa wouldn't be opening up for another month, but… it still felt awkward not getting dressed. Felt even more awkward knowing he would be walking right back into hell the moment it  _ did _ open, but apparently he and Gman were on good terms. He shook the thought out his head and went to the door.

"no more sleep?" A muffled voice asked, and Gordon snorted. "cuddle time over for benny?"

"Not right now, maybe later. Gonna get Joshie up for school."

"pog." Benrey said out of reflex, then curled the rest of the cover over himself. Gordon left silently.

He opened Joshua's door to see the kid already sitting up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. His own alarm on his phone had just been cut off, judging by the puzzle screen that was still up.

"Mornin' Joshie. Love you." He ruffled his hair a bit and unplugged his phone for him, just as Joshua mumbled and kicked his legs over the side of the bed.

"Love you." He repeated, and Gordon hummed. Didn't know he'd be talking so early. "Shower… tired." It was always a little mini shock to him that he could take care of himself so easily sometimes. Not that long ago, he'd still have to supervise him to make sure he didn't end up using too much soap, or make sure Joshua would  _ really _ go to the bathroom instead of just stand in there aimlessly for a few minutes then leave. Now, all he had to ever do was make sure he washed his hands properly. Good job, Gordon. You're a great parent.

Ah, wait, Joshua had said something. "Oh, you're gonna shower so soon? Okay. Want me to make some breakfast while you're in there?"

"Paaaaaancakes." Joshua dragged on, standing up with a big stretch. "Bu-berry and...and banan!"

Nodding at his adorable attempt, Gordon let Joshua toddle his way over to the bathroom and stood up, fishing out a uniform for him and bringing it to the shower door. He knocked twice, and Joshua peeked out to grab the small stack and closed the door again.

Gordon nodded to himself and moved off into the kitchen, reaching up over the fridge and grabbing for the box of instant pancake mix, just for his hand to meet empty air. He blinked and looked up, sure he just missed it, when he locked eyes with Bubby.

He was standing in just a loose fitting gown that might as well have been a dress, holding onto the very same box Gordon had been reaching for.

"...the fuck are you doing up?" Bubby asked, and Gordon let out a short breathed laugh.

"Well, I was gonna make Joshie some of his favourite pancakes before he went to school. But uh… Can't really do that when you're holding them." He shrugged, and Bubby looked down at the box. Then, he handed it over. Gordon reached out to take it but Bubby pulled it away just as quickly.

"I'll hand it over, but under one condition."

"Sure, sure, what?" Good thing it was still a bit early, he set their alarms a few minutes earlier than usual in case he somehow fell out of the groove when he was away. Otherwise, Joshua would have probably had to wait even more for his pancakes.

"Teach me."

...what? "Okay? Well uh-- you can just, watch me, I'll tell you what to do. We might as well make pancakes for everyone." Gordon shrugged again, an action he ended up repeating endlessly around the Science Team, and Bubby finally handed him the box.

He was an easy learner. He followed everything directly, but it was clear he… Never used anything even slightly related to cooking before. He got a shell in the bowl when trying to crack eggs, but ultimately Gordon said it was his claws that was getting in the way. They weren't nearly as long as Benrey's, but really weren't making the job easier.

He couldn't figure out how to hold a whisk at first, but eventually got it, along with leveling a cup of pancake mix and also leveling a cup of milk even though that… Wasn't possible or necessary. But hey, he did it.

What he  _ quickly  _ stopped was Bubby trying to add a cup full of sugar, and told him that only a sprinkle would work. He also had to stop him from adding hot sauce because spicy pancakes were  _ not _ on the menu and never would be.

Once their batter was finally made, Gordon went to turn the fire on, but Bubby smacked his hand away. He held up a singular finger, and a small wick of flame danced on his fingertip. He turned the dial ever so slightly and lowered his finger to the gas, lighting it without a noise. Did the same to Gordon's side as well, then pulled his hand away and smothered the small flame in his palm, putting a skillet on the fire.

"Don't like the clicking." Was all he said on the matter, and Gordon left it at that. Of course, he also told him to never do that around Joshua, but he figured the scientist wasn't planning on it.

All of Gordon's pancakes came out fine, but Bubby had a bit of trouble judging how hot the skillet should be or when to flip, so Gordon took over both skillets and told him to cut up the berries in the fridge. Blueberries and bananas.

Once everything was done, then came the plating. Tommy, Coomer, and Benrey had woken up by now due to the smell of Gordon's (and Bubby's) boss-ass pancakes, so Tommy took Sunkist for a walk to wait while Coomer came into the kitchen to help set out plates. Benrey came into the room with Joshua clinging to his leg like a koala, which… Pretty much was expected. Benrey didn't seem the slightest bit bothered so it wasn't brought up.

Gordon looked down at the plate Bubby made for Joshua and hummed. "Damn man, didn't know you could cut fruit like that." He smirked, and Bubby grinned right back, proud of his plating. The bananas were cut into stars, the leftover chunks stacked on top with blueberries of various sizes trailing behind each 'star'. It was impossibly cute, and somehow very Bubby-like at the same time. "Where'd you learn that?"

"A girl never kisses and tells." He showed off dagger-like teeth as Gordon playfully held his hands up in defeat, then asked Coomer to help set up the table.

It felt… odd, seeing Gordon smile and joke around so freely with him. It was only for a few minutes, but it was nice. Who knew struggling to learn how to cook could be so fun.

Just as Gordon went to slide Joshua his cup of milk, like always, he stopped. It felt wrong.

He couldn't do it, not with… not with this arm. He always slid it with his right hand, and Joshua always caught it with his left. It was what they did. But, he still didn't trust the strength in his arm, not yet at least. He couldn't feel everything, and more often than not just used his left hand whenever he was moving Joshua around.

Rather lamely, he set the cup down, and Joshua made a noise, pushing it away.

"Slide?" He asked, tilting his head in confusion, and Gordon sighed.

"I… I can't do that, not right now. Next time. Please just take it, Joshua."

Joshua pushed it further away, not touching his pancakes now. "Slide." He said a bit harder, and Gordon bit the inside of his cheek. There was scar tissue there, he was sure of it.

"Josh, I  _ can't _ do it with this arm," to push his point, he waved his right arm. It looked nothing like his left, and while Joshua looked at it, he didn't seem to either care or understand what the problem was. He didn't want to do this in front of everyone, and stepped back. "Someone, please slide the cup over to him. Just enough--"

"No,  _ daddy _ ." Joshua said firmly, picking at the skin of his hands. Gordon reached up to stop him, and Joshua growled. "Daddy gotta."

Joshua wasn't stubborn, he knew that. Joshua just did things a certain way, and if it wasn't done that way, he'd throw a fit. He did the same thing to a jello cup a while back because it wasn't 'opened all the way' because a small sliver of the foil lid was stuck on the rim, not at all inhibiting him from eating the jello.

He just wished it wasn't happening  _ now _ , over a thing he couldn't control.

"Josh I  _ can't _ !" He shouted, not even interested in eating now. He looked at the clock. Getting late "Just eat! I can't slide the f--"

"Stop yelling." Joshua pushed back, and Gordon swallowed his words, turned around, and left the house.

This was fucked.

This was shit. It was terrible.

He yelled at Joshua before on accident, usually only raising his voice just a bit too loud, but he never felt  _ good _ about it. Each time he'd shut down, do whatever Joshua was asking for or put his foot down, but he just didn't know what to do.

He  _ couldn't _ use his arm like he wanted to. He knew the moment he'd try to slide that cup, it would slide across the table at top speed, and Joshua wouldn't be able to catch it. It'd spill milk fucking  _ everywhere _ and he'd feel like shit and he'd have to clean it up and Joshua wouldn't have anything to eat and he'd have get Joshua washed up and have him change into a clean pair of clothes for school and-- wait.

_ School _ .

What fucking time was it???

Gordon stood from the front steps and rushed back inside, speeding past the island-- he couldn't look at it right now-- and rushing to his room, picking up his phone.

They had maybe five minutes to leave before the bus showed up.

He pocketed his phone and rushed to the living room, seeing Joshua standing next to the island, staring down at the floor. "C'mon Joshua, get your bag and shoes on, gonna be late for the bus." He said in a hurry, grabbing Joshua's hand.

Right away, Joshua hissed, and Gordon looked down in horror at seeing his right hand wrapped around Joshua's own. He let go with a quick apology and switched hands, trying to not spiral into a stupid fucking anxiety attack now out of all times.

Joshua slid on his bag and pulled on his shoes, tucking the laces into his shoes instead of tying them, but Gordon didn't say anything. He just put on his own shoes, still tied up from last time he kicked them off, and hurried Joshua outside and to the corner.

Joshua didn't say anything this time as they walked. He just stared at the ground, grabbing his book bag strap, silent.

"I'm sorry." Gordon blurted out, just as he saw the corner come into view. "I didn't mean to yell at you-- I know we always do that thing, and you were looking forward to it, but I can't control the strength in this arm yet. I would have either broken the cup or hurt you in some sort of way, and I just-- I'm really, really sorry, Joshua."

Joshua was still quiet, but he didn't say anything about it. He was probably still upset with him.  _ He _ definitely was.

Just as they got to the corner, the bus had already stopped and had been waiting. Joshua gave Gordon's hand a firm squeeze before letting go, silently walking up onto the bus and finding a seat. Just as he sat down, the bus pulled off, growing ever so distant as Gordon stood there and watched it. The moment it was out of sight, he sighed, and let tears flow down his face.

"Damn, guess I'm just gonna cry in public. Is this how my life's going?" He joked to no one, turning around to walk back up the block, only to come face to face with Tommy. Shot nerves made him flinch back, instinctively reaching down for a gun that wasn't there, then panicking more when his hand found nothing.

"It's just me, Mr. Freeman," Tommy said softly, and Gordon shakily nodded, looking away and using the back of his hand to rub his tears away. As soon as his arm dropped back to his side, Sunkist leaned forward and licked his hand. "Are you… crying?" 

He had cringed right after asking an obvious question, but Gordon either didn't mind or didn't notice. "Yeah uh… I am. I yelled at Joshua, and I-- I think he's mad at me." He sniffed, and the tears started coming back. His mouth just moved without him really paying attention to what he was saying, but he just unleashed the floodgates. "God, I just-- Joshua and I have a thing, every Monday we would have pancakes. I'd serve them a specific way, and then when he sits down I slide him a cup of milk across the table like-- like how bartenders do in movies? But I  _ can't _ do that anymore, I can't control how much strength that goes into this arm anymore and I didn't want to fuck up,"

He sucked in a breath and started to pace, but Tommy remained silent, just watching him. Sunkist whined. Gordon started walking back to home, looking up at the combined houses but still being unable to comprehend it. Sunkist happily trucked on, pulling Tommy behind her as he skated just beside Gordon.

"And? And, even fucking worse, I yelled at him because he wouldn't let anyone else do it, I almost cursed at him. It gets worse, too! Because I'm sure he didn't eat anything! And when I was in such a fucking rush to get him to the bus in time, I  _ grabbed _ him with this arm and  _ hurt _ him. He made a sound, I fucking  _ hurt _ Joshua, and I'm-- I'm--"

' _ A shitty parent _ .' His mind completed for him, and he grabbed at his hair with both hands. Before he could even pull, Tommy had dropped Sunkist's leash and was holding onto them, untangling his fingers and pulling them away. He didn't struggle, mostly just stared silently. God, now he was doing this in front of  _ Tommy _ .

"Did you-- did you say sorry?"

"First thing I said." He choked out, and Tommy smiled. He liked his smile. It always made things brighter.

"Then that's… That's all you can do. You didn't mean to yell, Mr. Freeman, and-- and you said sorry, and you're crying. You feel bad, and I'm sure Joshua knows you-- knows you're sorry." He used his free hand to wipe Gordon's tears, but he pulled away the moment he tried and laughed. It was a sad laugh. Tommy didn't like hearing it. He looked down at Sunkist as she sniffed Gordon's right arm, and got an idea. "You wanna lay in the grass and let-- let Sunkist lay on you?"

Maybe because he was already half out of it, or because he thought it would be just stupid enough to bring him out his spiral, Gordon laughed again and shook his head. "You know what? Sure. I'll lay in the grass. I'll let Sunkist smother me."

And he did just that. Right on the front lawn, Gordon laid flat on his back, and after a quick command from Tommy, Sunkist walked over and planted herself right across him. He grunted a bit at the weight on his chest and she shifted a bit to get comfortable, then laid her head down to lick his chin once.

She was soft, warm, and heavy. Weighing down on him, almost pinning him to the cool, slightly uncomfortable grass below. It was… nice. Way nicer than he expected. He reached up with his left hand to scratch at her ear and neck, closing his eyes and just… Enjoying her presence. If he stopped paying attention, he was sure he'd just sink below the earth. Fall from under her soft, fluffy, golden weight, but he'd enjoy it. 

Gordon didn't really remember when he closed his eyes, but he kept them closed, turning to where he assumed Tommy was still standing. "Why is this a thing?" He attempted to gesture, but Sunkist just licked his palm then nudged it out of the air. He opened his eyes at the ticklish feeling and saw that Tommy was sitting down, facing them both. "This just a Sunkist thing?"

Tommy looked  _ proud _ now, and Gordon knew he just walked into an infodump.

"No!" He beamed. "This is-- this is DPT, Deep Pressure Therapy! It's something Service Dogs do, by laying-- laying down on a part of your body, like your lap, stomach, or chest. It's like-- like a  _ really  _ soft weighted blanket. Softer than a newborn kitten's meow!" He reached out and buried his hand in Sunkist's fur, rubbing and scratching her absently as he kept talking. "I've been using Google and YouTube to train her myself as a service dog! Once she has all the training, I'm gonna get my dad to get her a vest so she can go to stores with me so I don't get overwhelmed :)."

Gordon tapped Sunkist's side, gently pushing at her until she got the message and stood up, letting him sit up finally and take a breath. While that was wonderful, and he even calmed down significantly, he just felt off now at Tommy's last comment. It was great hearing him infodump about something he was so excited about, but it was just the realization that Sunkist was still  _ Tommy's _ dog, and now his service dog in training that he was personally training, it felt more like he was taking her away from him.

His therapist even said he should think about a therapy dog. 

He gave Tommy a smile. "Damn, that's-- thats really interesting, Tommy. I didn't know you'd be so great in training her, she's already so wonderful." Gordon pat Sunkist's neck then turning to address her. "But I guess that comes with being the world's most wonderful dog, huh Sunkist? I should get a therapy dog, but they won't be as great as you, sweet thing."

Sunkist licked his face again and he sputtered, pulling away to wipe away her spit but she only followed him, continuing to attack him with dog kisses until he was sprawled out on the grass again. He missed how Tommy's face lit up, and how he started flapping his hands in excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He didn't even get to eat his damb pancakes  
> Bubby is flat out wearing a longass gown bc theyre comfy and he refuses to wear pants in the house unless theyre either a skirt, shorts, or a gown
> 
> And for those that read these, should I include Darnold? I dont think there are enough fics that include him


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for
> 
> Panic attacks  
> Attempt at self harm (in this case, head knocking)  
> Reckless driving

"Just don't flick it too hard."

"You think I'm doing that on _purpose_?" 

Gordon snarled, then grabbed _another_ plastic cup, filled with water, and sighed. Just, slide it. Slide it **_gently_ ** across the island.

"don't fuck up."

"Benrey, my patience is out the window, say anymore shit and I will _not_ hesitate." He growled, trying to slide the cup to Coomer, again. As he did, curling his arm as he was sure he always did, the cup was flung at the doctor and tipped over before it even reached him, splashing his already soaking wet lap with even more water.

Gordon thunked his head on the counter.

Or, tried to. He just felt something soft under his forehead and sat up, whispering another apology to Dr. Coomer.

"Gordon, I'm wet." He picked the cup up and handed it off to Tommy, who set it next to the ever growing stack of cups needing to be refilled. Bubby set another one in front of Gordon as he nudged Benrey's hand out the way. "Good thing my Powerlegs are waterproof!"

"I know, and I'm-- I'm sorry." He wiped the counter down again, glad they were only using water. One more time.

This time, the cup didn't even make it to him, moving just a few inches from his initial slide.

"Aww." Tommy sighed.

It was fucking infuriating. How damn hard was it to slide a glass across the table? He did it hundreds of times before, why the hell could he not control his shitty arm _now_ , right when his son fucking hated him?

He threw the next cup, this time sailing clear off the counter and splattering water further into the living room. It soaked the carpet and he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

The next cup he ended up just knocking over, splashing and dripping backwards onto his arm. Good thing his arm was waterproof too. Not like that was doing him any good right now.

Next cup he didn't let go of. He pushed it away, then tried again. He didn't pay attention to the result because he already knew he failed, judging by the next cup being put in its place. He batted that one down like a damn cat, because what was the point anyway?

Another cup was set down.

He didn't want to do this anymore. He didn't. He couldn't do this _one thing_ , the _simplest_ action of controlling his speed. Where the hell did his dexterity go? With his arm when it was cut off? If he hadn't been so stupid, so fucking trusting when he _knew_ something was up, going down through and obvious set up and having to spend even longer away from Joshua, who now must have hated his guts because he spent so long away from him then yelled at him and nearly broke his hand right afterwards.

His arm was grabbed and shoved down, pressing unfeeling knuckles against the hard counter and into a shallow puddle of spilled water. Gordon opened his eyes and looked down at his-- no, those metal claws, infecting his arm. He could see an off-coloured hand pinning it down, could hear Benrey speaking, but he shoved him off and slammed the thing against the counter.

It uncurled right away, hand opening as if he felt pain, but he didn't. "Can't feel shit anyway--" he looked at the counter, staring at the chip on its surface. It was small and barely there, but he noticed it. "So fuck off. I don't need you to stop me from fucking hurting this-- this thing."

Another cup. Spilled on Coomer's lap. He felt a heavy thud on the side of his head, then heard Benrey cry out in pain and looked at him with a glare. It took a second for him to realize what Benrey did, and bit down on the inside of his cheek hard enough that he swore he tasted blood. Benrey was holding his hand to his chest, hissing as he carefully curled and uncurled it. What do you even say to that? 'Sorry, you got in the way of me hitting myself?' 'Next time don't try to stop me?'

He settled for neither. "I can't fucking control this shitty thing."

"It's not shitty, I spent forever making it!" Bubby cut in.

Gordon was giving _no_ shits today, and let his mouth move. Rage boiled over into fury, feeling bile crawl up his throat at memories that resurfaced. "Oh yeah? Maybe if you didn't fucking get it cut off in the first place _you wouldn't have to_ _fucking make it._ " 

Bubby bared his teeth into a snarl, dropping the cup he was holding onto the counter. It bounced, spilling everything to the floor. "Don't try to get pissed at me over the fucking past! I said sorry, didn't I?" He didn't, and Gordon _knew_ he didn't, and Gordon's heart pounded hard in his ears hearing him lie so easily. "And don't send all your fucking hate over to me just because you're a shitty parent--"

The moment those last two words left his mouth, a few things happened.

First, Benrey was suddenly stood in the kitchen, gripping Bubby by the throat and bending him backwards over the counter. He was gagging, clawing at the unmoving, inhuman hand around his neck as fire creeped up Benrey's shirt.

Secondly, Dr. Coomer stood up, joining Tommy in rushing to the two and tearing them apart.

Thirdly, Gordon turned around and left.

He didn't retreat to his room, no.

Just up and left the house, again. Grabbed his keys and didn't look back.

Feeling the soft fabric of his socks getting ripped to shreds with each step against the uneven sidewalk was just a bonus, he felt, pulling his car out the too _-_ big garage and just. Driving.

He didn't care where he was going, didn't care how he was riding dirty with no license, no ID, no wallet, no shoes, no anything. Didn't care.

His vision swam as lights and signs slowly became meaningless. Fuck them. The gas pedal was hard to keep down with nothing but half ripped fuzzy socks as traction, and the radio was warbling noise from some station or another that was too low in volume to even attempt to pay attention to.

But, he kept driving. Shouldn't have, but he did. His mind was on a mission to escape.

That's all he wanted to do. He just wanted to have a calm life, go back home to… To Joshua, hug him, talk to him, send him off to school and pick him up, feed him dinner, help him with his homework, watch TV with him and even play some games… just a normal, plain old life. Was that so much to ask for? To just live?

Maybe he just… shouldn't have. Shouldn't have made it out…

Out… Black Mesa?

Gordon blinked out the windshield, staring down the building he'd driven to. How did he end up at Black Mesa? How did he get here, distractedly, recklessly driving as he was? He half-heartedly expected to crash or something long before coming to any destination, not end up at his old job. The very same place that still gave him nightmares to this day.

It was on its way to completion, based on what he could see. Though, he used to work underground, so he couldn't exactly go down and see if any progress had been made. His eyes trailed over the construction workers, large machinery, listening to the warbling of the too-quiet radio and the muffled bustling of outside construction through the rolled up windows.

He closed his eyes and rested his head on the steering wheel, taking a shaky breath.

… Black Mesa destroyed him.

There was a tapping on his window and he dropped his arm, rolling it down without looking up. The construction was even louder now and made his skin bristle with overstimulation again, but he spoke anyway.

"I'm leaving, just give me a second--"

"Mr. Freeman, I… Did not expect you to be here so. Soon."

Gordon sat up suddenly, so quickly his head banged against the headrest, causing him to curl up a bit and rub the sore spot. "Mr. Coolatta? I--" he blanked for a second, fingers starting to feel numb. "I didn't mean to be here."

Gman took a step back from his door, making a small gesture with his hand, and the door swung open wide. Okay, guess he was coming out of the car, then.

He shut the door behind him and leaned against it, balancing an elbow on the still open window. It was so loud. "Uh," he said, louder than he would normally speak, before everything went silent.

It was as if everything was paused, and Gordon felt the numb feeling of his fingers suddenly spread across the rest of his body. It went away as soon as it came, making him gasp and press harder against the door. The world turned blue. While he was _thankful_ that it was quiet, his fear of the other was still _very much_ there.

"Do you gotta-- you have to like, pause time everytime we speak?" He blurted out. "Isn't that just, a waste?"

Gman tilted his head down at him, so Gordon looked away. Why even ask? He wouldn't ever get an answer. Gman was just a mystery he had no chance at understanding.

It was quiet for a while. Uncomfortably quiet. Neither said anything. Gordon drummed his fingers on the door.

"If you didn't 'mean to be here', then... why… Are you here, Mr. Freeman?" Gman spoke, voice cutting through the overwhelming silence, leaving Gordon no time to adjust to it all.

He shook his head. "I uh… family issues." He said, not exactly lying. "Got overwhelmed. The guys at home didn't really help. Said some… said some shitty shit."

The world shifted a bit, the ground feeling softer than it should. The horizon burned from blue to black, pinpricks of light starting to form, almost like a fading galaxy. "You… know, they aren't, 'human', like you. All they know are. These," he turned to Black Mesa, half of the building fading away into the void. "Cold… Walls."

They… Did. All the Science Team _knew_ was Black Mesa. Tommy knew some of the outside world, but Dr. Coomer was a cloning project, and Bubby was an outcome of test tube experiments. Benrey was some eldritch monster, Sunkist was artificial, and… And Gordon had a life.

Black Mesa was just a job, something he did five days out of the week, able to come back home once he was done. They didn't have that luxury.

"Tell me, Mr. Freeman, how is… living with the 'Science Team'?"

"Like living with four toddlers, a dog, and someone probably more of an adult than I am." He spat, continuing to stare at the building.

"I do hope that… _doesn't_ include my, dear Tommy." Gman's voice dipped lower, threatening, but the other just shrugged.

"I did say 'someone more of an adult than I am', didn't I?"

Gman went quiet again. That was fine.

"You, have a child, Mr. Freeman?" Gman's gaze was on him, but he continued to look at Black Mesa still. He felt strangely… calm, now that the world had stopped. He could take a breath, finally. No longer felt the need to call John and ask him to help him calm down.

He had half a mind to reach into his pocket and pull out his wallet for a picture, but he sourly remembered he didn't have it on him. Remembered he was just dressed in fuzzy socks, sweatpants, and a shitty black shirt that he tried to bleach-dye. Entirely the opposite of the well dressed well pressed man to his side.

"Yep, I do. His name's Joshua, he's five." Gordon looked at the darkening sky, at the thin streaks of light that stretched across it endlessly. "'s got autism. Never been something I really had to say or think about, ever. Not like that's a problem or I'm ashamed of it, it's just, what's that matter? He's my son, and I love him, and I'll do anything for him. We might have a problem or two, but I'm always there to help him through it, and he's always there with me. But uh… he's kinda the reason I'm here now. Reason why I'm talking to you, which, sidenote, I _never_ expect to be talking to you."

Gman let out a laugh, short, wheezing, and sounded distorted. If Gordon hadn't looked at him the moment he started talking about how he never expected to talk to him, he wouldn't have said the laugh came from his mouth. But, it did, and _hell_ were his teeth like a nightmare. Human adjacent and uncanny.

"Life happens in… unexpected ways, as you've come to. Notice." Gman folded his arms behind his back, briefcase tapping Gordon's thigh. He didn't know they had been standing that close, both of them now looking out into the horizon. "I… May have adopted, Tommy, into my care, but I… know, how you feel, Mr. Freeman. Tommy falls into the. Spectrum, as well. Leaving me to often… go a 'step above' him. He did not have the… luxury of a normal child-hood, having to live…. Beside me, in Black Mesa, and I regret that, immensely. But, I simply cannot hold my… Regrets, higher than my love, as easy as it is. Tommy is still a person, along with being my son."

...was he really getting parenting advice from him? Don't get him wrong, he needed it, and welcomed it with open arms, but god did he not expect Gman out of all people to willingly give advice. He crossed his arms as well, but this time over his chest, and sighed.

It was true, though. This entire spat was because he still felt bad. Still felt bad about a lot of things, and instead of explaining it to Joshua, he just tried to step around it, then got upset when that didn't work and ended up lashing out. Joshua was _also_ a person, along with being his kid. He couldn't believe he just… up and ran away from it all, feeling so bad about being a 'shitty parent' that he left his home to a bunch of ex-coworkers because of it. He was an adult. He was a person. He could talk, learn, and speak.

They didn't know anything, and he had to give them a way to figure it out themselves. He could help them along, but, ultimately, they were their own persons themselves.

"Damn, man." Gordon exhaled, looking at Gman out the corner of his eye. "I didn't really think anything like that, that uh… really helped. More than you think, I guess. Thank you."

Gman showed off a tight lipped smile, his eyes showing off more of the emotion than his still face. "Anytime, Mr. Freeman. You, indeed, have my phone number if you ever wish for more… Advice. You seem to be the… only one who wants it, anyway." He laughed again, and this time Gordon joined in.

"Hey, Tommy follows advice sometimes! Like, barely, but sometimes! He just falls in instinct a lot, you can't blame 'em."

"Can't indeed." Gman's laugh was still so odd, it was so wheezy and quiet, but he respected it. He never had anyone he could talk to for dad advice, and while it was probably weird to ask someone clearly not human, it was surprisingly insightful! "But, since you are… here. Can you, as the kids say, 'do me a favour'?"

That's not what kids said, but "Alright, shoot." Gman moved his briefcase forward and Gordon immediately backed up, holding his hands up. "NOT with a gun-- that just means 'tell me'!"

Gman paused for a while, thinking over his words, then closed his eyes and sighed. "Humans have odd choices in terms." He whispered, letting his arms come to rest at his sides. "Let's just say… you will be gaining two new 'roommates' very, very soon, Mr. Freeman. But, for now, I feel you need to return home, lest… something unsightly happens."

"What do you mean-- how do you-- what are you putting in my house Mr. Coolatta--"

"Goodbye for now, Mr. Freeman."

And with that, the darkness enclosed him in a forced, suffocating embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gman care Tommy???  
> Gordon and Gman bonding over being dads????
> 
> Thanks for all the comments! I figured I would include Darnold ❤
> 
> Really though, why are there so many fics of ppl hating Gman or making him a villian? Not Once in hlvrai did Gman act like anything more than a weird dad that happens to be a god that follows the group around and watches what they do. He doesnt do anything bad on purpose, life is just happenin that way and he cant stop it, only watch  
> Why y'all makin em mean?  
> Like, legit! I wanna know


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I realize i should say now that i dont have a beta reader, so if you see some mistakes, know that i!!! Missed it. I keep mixing up "tired and "tried" a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im!!! So glad everyone loved the gman dad moment!! Good dad heart to heart!!!
> 
> Shoutout to my fav comment by IPL4YC0MPUT0RZ "look how hard i can cry" bc i!! Strive off your tears!! ❤ ❤

When Gordon opened his eyes, he couldn't stop the tears flowing down his face even if he wanted to. Not because he was sad anymore, that feeling had long faded, but was now overburdened with fear and shock. His back was straight, posture set up as if he'd been a doll manipulated into sitting in a car. He might as well been, as everything burned with pins and needles so painful that he couldn't move if he wanted to. Every breath was rushed and shallow, every blink causing more tears to fall, eyes glossed over as he tried to tear himself from the discomfort he just experienced.

For a short amount of time, he wasn't alive.

For just a moment, his body had ceased existing. Teleporting from Black Mesa to his garage, he recognized, meant that the void collapsed in on him and he became nothing. Stretched and yanked across an hour's worth of traveling in less than a second, and within that half second, nothing was real.

But now, he was. He was real. The car was real, and he was sitting in it. The keys were in the ignition, but weren't turned. His little keychains wiggled ever so slightly, and the small rocking motion helped him realize time was moving again.

He'd… he'd have to tell Gman to never do that again.

In fact, he was gonna do that now. Forcing his body to move, Gordon silently thanked his prosthetic arm for not feeling pins and needles. It felt like his skin was made out of static and frankly? It sucked.

True to his word, Gman's number was in his phone, labelled "Mr. Coolatta" also Tommy's contact had been altered for some reason, having two yellow hearts around it. 'Alright, you love your son, we get it', he would have said if he hadn't made Joshua's contact have hearts around it too. Damn.

"Hey, real quick, please never teleport me ever again." He sent, refusing to explain further. It was helpful, sure, he didn't trust himself in getting home (especially since he didn't have his licence) and he didn't want to call someone to pick him up or wait until he was ready again, but it also  _ sucked. _

"Understood, Mr. Freeman. I simply forgot you are indeed, very human…"

Alright. Note to self, Gordon:

Never let Gman teleport you anywhere.

The awful sensation finally started to fade, and he sighed, letting himself relax and scroll through his notifications. Seven new messages. Two from Tommy, one from Benrey, one from Coomer, and three from Bubby. All sent at various times.

Well, might as well go down the line.

"Where did you go, Mr. Freeman? Do you want to talk? --- Tommy"

"Please don't tell me you're driving :("

That's all there was from Tommy. There was another message that had been deleted, so he couldn't really count that one.

"bubby was being real sucks. i put him in time out." Along with a picture of Bubby sitting in his bedroom, facing the corner with his arms cross. He couldn't see his face, but he somehow knew he was pouting. An old babygate (that Gordon immediately recognized as one he used for Joshua) was propped up around him. It was a selfie, with Benrey's face peeking up from the corner. He could have just… switched modes.

Ah. Well. That's… all he could really expect from Benrey. 

Alright, Coomer's message.

"Bubby isn't allowed to have his phone during Time Out™, but I gave it to him. I hope you'll excuse me for this breach of rules, Gordon."

There weren't any rules for time out because it literally didn't exist until today, but that was fine. He scrolled over to Bubby's texts and mentally prepared himself.

"Look, I know I said some fucked up shit earlier today, but everyone told me I was wrong and I got put in the time out corner to think."

"And honestly? I did think. I hate this fucking corner, but its better than the tube."

"I thought I apologized. I never did, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for blaming you for Black Mesa collapsing on us. I'm sorry for selling you out to the military. I'm sorry getting your arm cut off. I'm sorry for being a dick to you while you were nothing but helpful to us. I'm sorry for calling you a shitty parent. I don't know what parents are to me, I didn't have a childhood or anything close to it, but me calling you a shitty parent because I felt bad was. Shitty. It's easier for me to text you than say all this out loud, I'm sorry for that, too. I don't know if you'll forgive me, or if you can forgive me, but I just want you to know all this. You changed my life, Gordon, and I don't want my fuck ups to ruin everything."

Gordon set his phone down, tilting his head back to stare up at his car's roof.

That was… a lot. A giant bundle of emotions was wrapped up tight in his chest, and with each cord tugged, something else got tangled up in it. He cried out all his tears, sighed out all his sighs, sobbed out all his sobs and yelled out all his yells, even though he ended up not doing much of the last two. Today was just a lot.

No words came to mind, though, and honestly he just wanted everything to cool down. Turn the volume down on life. There were a couple hours still before he had to go pick up Joshua (or was John still planning on it? He'd have to text him), and he had a plan.

For the first time in a while, he had a plan!

Gordon pocketed his phone, took his keys from the ignition, and left his truck. Still hated his socks getting ruined by the sidewalk, but he could just buy some new ones. They came in big packs anyway.

The moment he opened the door, he was met by a few awkward stares. Benrey was sitting on the arm of the couch and looked up at him, then looked down right away, focusing on spinning his characters in tight circles on his switch. Tommy was on the ground, one arm laid over his eyes as Sunkist gave him some deep pressure therapy, if he remembered the term correctly. Sunkist gave a gentle bark of white to grey Sweet Voice, a colour combo he hadn't seen before. Tommy looked at it, then looked at him, then covered his eyes again and didn't translate.

Dr. Coomer and Bubby were in the kitchen, talking in hushed tones as Bubby kept his head covered by his arms. Coomer was rubbing his back, giving Gordon a worried look, and Gordon sighed.

"I'm fine, firstly." He broke the silence, and Bubby flinched, curling up further into his arms. Tommy lifted his hand slightly to peek at him. "Secondly, can we just have like, a group huddle? Like old times?"

Tommy was the first up, patting Sunkist's side to get her to stand and scooting next to the couch, looking up at Gordon politely. Sunkist sat in his lap again, overtaking most of his vision until he got her to lay down instead. Bubby and Coomer took a bit longer, as Bubby looked absolutely dejected. He dragged his feet, eventually sitting on the floor with Coomer sitting on the couch beside him.

Leaving Gordon to sit beside Benrey, and see that he was making zero progress in his pokemon game. He wasn't even running in tall grass, just spinning in place.

"What was this huddle for, Gordon?" Coomer asked, turning to Gordon with his ever present smile.

"Nothin' much, Dr. Coomer." He smiled without really looking at him. "I just wanted to let you guys know that I love you. I love you all, a… A lot, actually. A lot more than you think. You guys helped me through hell and back, and you're still here, even when I'm having a hard time coming to terms with just… Existing, I guess. Words are hard."

"They sure are, Gordon."

"Double." Bubby coughed, pointedly looking away. Gordon nudged him with his ankle.

"Hey, don't think I don't love you too. You want me to say it personally? I will. My love is strong and endless and you cannot defeat me."

Bubby only sputtered and covered his face with his hands, making Gordon chuckle and close his eyes again.

Benrey saved his game. "you uh… love me, too? Gordos?"

Was this a love circle now? Fuck it! "Of course I do, dummy. You're a weird cryptid and I love you a lot."

"that's so gay, wanna kiss about it?" 

"It's platonic, Benrey."

"that's so platonic, wanna kiss about it?"

Gordon barked out a laugh, all but flopping over so he was laying against Benrey's side as he busied himself with singing out a stream of Sweet Voice. It wasn't very loud nor lasting, but it was there. It was odd laying against Benrey as he sang, his normally rather cool body would heat up significantly, like something serious was going on in there. It was nice.

"I… I love you too, Mr-- Gordon!" He wasn't sure if Tommy's ever said that before, but it still hit hard. Sunkist barked out some pink to blue Sweet Voice, luckily saving Tommy from having to translate it.

"I love you too, Gordon. I'll always be by your side, right where I need to be." Dr. Coomer grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. Gordon hummed.

"Guess that-- guess that means I love you too, or whatever. Dumbass." Bubby folded his arms and huffed. As if he wasn't feeling just a bit better to get his feelings out, even if that meant having to insult him just a second later. "Was that all you wanted to do? Sit us in a damn circle and tell us you love us?"

"Yep." 

Bubby paused, like he was waiting for more, but Gordon didn't say another word on the matter and he shrugged. "Alright."

Gordon started to hum again, a familiar tune only to him. He had an entire library of different songs stored away in his head to pull out at any time. They'd only been used for Joshua, but… he figured he might as well use them here, too. With the Science Team.

Benrey's body warmed up and Gordon smiled, already knowing what was going to happen. Benrey started to sing, not really matching his song, but it didn't matter.

Calm Down blue fluttered through the air, interrupted by a few other shades of similar colour. It looked like the ocean, slightly bobbing in the air and some parts fading away into nothing. No one said anything for a while, but that was fine. There was nothing  _ to _ say right now, just a calm, quiet moment that they could share together. Like old times.

Gordon's song started to die out as his body started to catch up to his mind, utterly drained and needing a hard reset, even if it was temporary. No one was upset as he fell asleep, leaving Benrey to continue the song as Bubby leaned back against Coomer's legs to take a nap as well. Coomer followed right away, and Sunkist pushed Tommy over in a not-so-subtle hint to go to sleep.

He giggled quietly but did so, laying down and closing his eyes. Once she was sure he was out, Sunkist looked at Benrey for a moment, then joined in on continuing the song.

They sang long after everyone was asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bubby is a dick only bc he doesnt know how to say his feelings!!! He's never really Had to or Could inside Black Mesa, man, hes used to everyone being rude to each other so he figures hey, why not be a bitch


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for:
> 
> Mentions of smoke and fire  
> Cleaning remains of smoke and fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unsure why i kinda struggled with this chapter! 
> 
> Im in no means running out of topics, i know where I want this story to go and how its getting there, but feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments! Anything you might like to see next chapter or sometime in the future, something you thought I could have handled better, anything! I love reading your comments, no matter how short or long they are. Helps keep me motivated to push out more content!

Thank god for John, because Gordon was having an After Panic Power Nap and none of the Science Team knew where his school was.

Tommy had answered the door, having woken up first while Dr. Coomer read Bubby instructions on how to make dinner. Of course they didn't really understand that they had to pick a subject first, but hopefully something edible was being made. John came in and made a beeline to Gordon's room, Joshua clung to Tommy's leg and made a vague noise that somewhat resembled the word 'homework', and John screamed a hearty 'What the fuck!' That was loud enough that everyone heard. Must have found Benrey, then. 

"You-- you wanna-- is dinner ready, Bubby?" Tommy asked, looking towards the kitchen just as he saw Dr. Coomer rushing past with a tall glass of water, and quickly added. "Never add water to a grease fire."

There was a pause, then a loud hiss and a yelp.

"Sunkist, can you…?" He trailed off as Sunkist got up, running into the kitchen. Joshua squinted and started to sniff at the air but there was no time for him to raise an alarm about the surefire smoke just about to trail into the living room, they had homework to do!

Tommy stood and asked Joshua for his bookbag, slinging it over his shoulder when it was handed to him and quickly hurrying him to the hallway as Sunkist sprinted into the living room to open up the windows and fan her tail around, trying to clear out the smell of smoke. He should probably just order a pizza or something, doubted anyone would care. Based on whatever the hell he was smelling, it wasn't going to be ready or edible in the slightest.

"Wah wha," Joshua mumbled to himself, almost like he was singing something, and went over to the window to set a small stool in front of it and slide it open. It was still a bit sunny out, but a lovely breeze came in, cooling the room down a tad. "Wha bla huh--"

Tommy paused, turning from closing the door to see Joshua frozen in place, staring him down.

"Is something wrong?"

"Door." All Joshua gave, and Tommy looked at the door. Other than some drawings being hung up on the inside of it of some cowboys, a horse, and multiple pictures of Gordon, there wasn't anything wrong with it.

"Is there something wrong with the door?"

Joshua looked around frantically for a second, grunting and huffing at himself as if he was struggling to talk, leaving Tommy to clear his throat to get his attention.

"Are you upset that-- that the door is closed?" Tommy started, and Joshua's eyes lit up. Okay, progress! He nodded, then shook his head, then looked frustrated all over again and stomped his foot. Tommy looked at the door again, then turned back to him. He hadn't locked the door, so that wasn't the issue...

"Do you want me to open the door, but only a little bit?"

Joshua smiled and nodded, and Tommy sighed, opening the door just an inch or two. Joshua let out a breath and started making noise again, mostly resembling "nah, bah, wuh, suh, huh," 

Audio stim. Took him a second to realize.

"You-- you like those noises?" Tommy sat on the edge of the bed as Joshua went to the desk on the other side of his room, letting the kid prep himself before he got to work. "I like to go 'Buh'. It uh-- and Benrey likes to drag-- drag the B sound! It's hard for me to… do." He frowned a bit, then whispered 'buh' to himself, as if even mentioning the stim got him going again.

"Bbbbbuh," Joshua giggled, making Tommy quietly gasp at the kid flawlessly repeating Benrey's infamous noise and combining his "buh" noise. "Bbbbbbbuh  _ byerd _ ." Joshua only did it one more time, Tommy pausing as he heard that same pronunciation of 'bird' once before by Gordon, before Joshua went over to Tommy and grabbed his hand, leading him to his desk.

"Can you-- help me?" He asked gently, unzipping his bookbag and pulling out a folder. He pulled out a small stack of paper and paused, setting it down on the desk then moving his hands in a slightly odd fashion, as if he was trying to stab something in front of him. Or pouring something into a pot. "....science. Dad said you work-- you all worked together?"

"Oh! I can-- I can help with that! What topic-- what are you studying?" He smiled down at the packet, looking around for a second to pull out a chair he was sure Gordon used to also help Joshua. The packet already looked pretty complete, based off the front page, covered in slow, deliberate scrawl and tiny doodles in the margins. Once he sat down, Joshua flipped a few pages in, stopping at a blank page.

"Sk...sc…" Joshua croaked, tapping his finger on the title of the page. There was a little prompt underneath it. 'Draw a human skeleton and label the main body parts using this list: Skull, Arms, Legs, Spine, Ribs'

"Skeleton," Tommy said.

Joshua opened and closed his hands, not in a gesture, but more of trying to jog his brain. "Skell." He settled on. Tommy accepted it.

"Do you-- d'you have some paper? So I can help you?"

While Joshua nodded and reached into his bag, Tommy looked up towards the door as he heard it creak open. Gordon peeked in, giving a small smile to Tommy, before the door opened further with Benrey shoving his head in to give a wink until Gordon forced him away. 

They cracked the door again, and Gordon turned to the absolute hell that was the kitchen and living room.

Bubby was sitting on the couch while Dr. Coomer read something off his phone about successfully stopping small to large kitchen fires. Sunkist was utterly drained, walking in steady circles and barking out wavering Sweet Voice. No one needed to translate to realize she was utterly exhausted. Gordon went over to her and tapped her neck, getting her attention.

"C'mon, Sunkist, everything's fine," he cooed, and she flopped over dramatically and stretched lazily over the carpeted floor. "You can take a rest, you deserve it. Want some water?"

In other situations, it would  _ maybe _ look a bit dumb to be talking to a dog as if she could underatand you entirely, but Sunkist was much different. She nodded and Gordon went to the kitchen just long enough to get her bowl and fill it with water from the fridge, coming back and setting it near her nose to lap up. He gave her a good solid pat to the side and finally went to tackle the horrors of what possibly happened in the kitchen.

John was standing over the sink, soaking a burned skillet in yellowing water. He hadn't noticed when Benrey broke off from following him, but he was now in the middle of the kitchen, body stretched and transformed so he could reach up and scrub soot off the ceiling.

As he passed by, he gave Benrey's leg a small tap and stood at the stove. Other than all the burners somehow being burned but still working, luckily no more damage was done.

"So, I'm not sure how I slept through my kitchen being set on fire," Gordon started, grabbing a sponge and starting on cleaning the burners. "But uh, wanna order a pizza or something?"

"bbbbizza."

"You've slept through worse, I think." John shrugged, shaking Gordon's shoulder a bit. "Like, maybe a blue-ish dude crouching over you while you slept, spitting balls on you?"

Gordon tried to say something, but ended up laughing over his sentence until he just gave up and switched. "That sounds  _ awful _ when you say it like that-- were you using Sweet Voice on me in my sleep??"

John wheezed a laugh and turned to Benrey, just to flinch and nearly collapse at how  _ massive _ the eldritch being was, seconds away from eating the very same towel he was using to clean the ceiling. Benrey slowly put it back down at being watched. "jus' tryna let a bro nap. lil nippy nap."

"You have-- you have such a wild life, man." John blurted out. "Just earlier I had a dog helping me put out a fire and opening all the windows. A dog, man. I cannot explain that to  _ anyone _ , Gordon. And now you're looking at Benry who is like three times as tall now like that's  _ normal _ ."

"benrey."

"What? I said that right. Benry."

"two e's."

"I-- what?" John let out an exasperated sigh and looked to Gordon, expecting some sort of reprieve of Benrey's nonsense, just to get distracted by Gordon showing him his phone. "Ooh pepperoni."

They eventually got the rest of the kitchen clean by the time the pizza came, leaving John to steal a slice or two before he gave Joshua a goodbye hair ruffle and hopped in his car, taking off for his home. Joshua and Tommy came out a moment later, Joshua now with his packet entirely done and dressed in normal house clothes. After a quick trip to the bathroom to wash his hands (where Tommy noticed that running water made his eyes unfocus and he would end up sitting there for minutes on end, letting the water run over his hands without once moving to wash them), it was time to bite the bullet and bring Joshua and Gordon into the save room.

Gordon was distracted, to say the least, looking at his phone as he tried to do something or another, but Tommy wasn't too interested in asking what was up. Instead, he sat Joshua in his normal seat at the counter, and Gordon looked up at the moment.

It was quiet for a second, everyone tense and wanting the moment over, and Gordon smiled.

"Josh, I'm--"

" _ Sorry _ !!" Joshua burst into tears and sprung from his seat, rushing over to Gordon. He climbed up his pant leg with way more skill than he should have and crawled into his lap to cry into his shirt, something the kid apparently liked to do. "S--sorry I-- s-s-s--" he choked on his own tears, and Gordon excused himself, standing up and carrying Joshua on his hip to rock him side to side. One of the only things that really got him to calm down.

"What-- what are you sorry for? I should be the one apologizing! I yelled at you, I rushed you, I almost--"

"But!!" Josha lifted his head, grunting and white-knuckling his shirt until he used his hands to try to gesture. There were still plenty of words he couldn't say, signing or not, and now seemed to be one of those moments. Instead of guessing, Gordon leaned down and smooched his forehead.

"I accept your apology, young man," he sighed into Joshua's absolute mop of hair, absently thinking about needing to comb it later on. "But that means you gotta accept mine too, okay? I had been mean to you, and that's not okay. We both gotta explain ourselves more, you know? What about-- about that app? On your phone? If you wanna talk but can't get the right words out, you can type it there and it'll read it out to me. That work?"

Joshua nodded, humming softly as he started to calm down. "Sorry." He said again, stuck on the word. Gordon nodded.

"Love you."

"Love." 

Seconds passed of Gordon just rocking Joshua a bit more, helping him calm down the rest of the way, then giving him another head ruffle just for the sake of it. "Hey, did Tommy help you with your homework? How was he?"

Joshua smiled against his chest. "Good! Learned about. Skell." He lifted his head, looking off towards the kitchen kid probably was still hungry, afterall. Gordon turned around to drop him back in his seat, listening to him talk. "Was hard but-- but Tommy good. Waits nice."

"Yeah, I like Tommy too. He's real patient." 

Joshua outstretched his arm before Gordon set him down, gesturing to parts of it. He tapped the upper half of his arm. "Hummus." He said, then tapped the lower half on one side. "Ul-- ulna?" Then, the other side. "Radio!"

"Hey, Tommy, why-- why did you teach him the specific names of the bones?" Even though he got exactly one of the three correct.

"He- he wanted to know, Mr. Freeman!" Tommy smiled around a slice of pizza as if he didn't just over-teach his son, but he couldn't find it in him to be upset. Just set Joshua down and gave him a paper plate with his pizza on it.

"Bbbbbizza." Joshua buzzed, about to bite into a slice, when Benrey's eyes widened and he grinned.

"BBBBBBB."

"Oh no, Tommy you  _ didn't _ \--"

"Bbbbbbfbbf?"

"I'm sorry-- I didn't know--!"

"BBBBBBB _ BBBB. _ " Benrey threw his arms in the air, and Gordon buried his face in his hands, muffled laughter absolutely destroying any chance he had on trying to have a normal dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gordon and Joshua be like: *apologizes*
> 
> Good Tommy moments of actin as a stand-in adult while Gordon takes a nap.....
> 
> I love all the feedback im getting for this story! What started out as me just wantin some good ol Gordad moments but then it stretched into Found Family, ended up as this entire project. Im unsure how to end it, or when I ever will, but i feel whenever I do i'll end up having left something nice in the fandom that people can come back to. Like a little home. That being said, im no where near close to the end, im just feeling a bit emotional! Guess its just the writing, heh
> 
> (Darnold!!!! [And surprise] coming soon!!!!)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more Boi enters the fray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking, why don't I include shopping trips in this fic? Why don't I mention certain things? And the answer is this:  
> i dont know how.  
> So, The Science Team. How do they get around?  
> Bubby, Dr. Coomer, and Tommy have cars. Theyre in the garage.  
> How did they get them? Gman gave them over.  
> When did that happen? Some undisclosed time.
> 
> I'm unsure, and this is kinda a copout, but hey I'm just one cryptid  
> If you want me to write a shopping trip I Can Try, but no promises though. If anything, I'd need help.

Another day, another dollar, as a weird wise man once said.

Gordon and Joshua were quick to adapt to their new routine, having spent four mornings on it. And, other than that one hiccup where Gordon got a phone call from one of Joshua's teachers asking about how his child named most of the bones in the human body correctly, and the other call asking why his family suddenly consisted of four more scientists and a dog, it went smoothly.

Gordon would wake up Joshua early, get the kid showered and dressed while Tommy took Sunkist for a walk, and Gordon and Bubby would cook up a simple breakfast. Dr. Coomer would check Joshua's homework to make sure it was all done, then they would all eat. And if they had some time to spare, Joshua and Benrey would sit down with either some cartoons or video games. Usually video games. Joshua's brain was gonna be mush from Benrey spouting near nonsense while explaining pokemon to him. But hey, he liked it, and even kicked his feet a little bit when he caught his very first pokemon on Benrey's save and named it Cashew.

It didn't help that Benrey cheered him on wildly, and Joshua buzzed in excitement the entire time. It was endearing to see the two getting along.

Gordon would walk Joshua to the corner, and by the time the bus was out of sight, Tommy would be right behind Gordon and the two would chat until they got home.

Right now, Gordon was watching the familiar dirty yellow bus turn the corner out of view, listening to the sound of padded paws rushing up behind him followed by the sound of roller skates slowly coming to a stop.

"Howdy, Tommy." Gordon didn't even have to turn around to know who it was, but did so anyway just in time for Sunkist to lick at his beard-- apparently, her favourite spot to lick, as gross as it was-- and he greeted her back with a quick peck on the nose. A habit he'd have to stop eventually. Didn't help that Tommy only encouraged him into 'showing his love' more often. "And hello to you too, Sunkist. You two enjoy your walk?"

Sunkist chuffed just as Tommy patted her, making her get down and tap her paws on the ground, anxious to get back. "Distracting," Tommy said, then sputtered, backtracking. "H-hey, wanna-- um, drinks?"

"Isn't it a little early for alcohol?" That and also he didn't drink. Hadn't done it in a while and didn't plan on starting up again anytime soon. "Plus Sunkist looks a bit too riled up, might want a--"

"No, no! I mean-- smoothies!" Tommy splayed his hands out in front of him, wiggling his fingers as he jumped back and forth on mumbling half-sentences that couldn't be strung together even if he tried. Then, he puffed up his cheeks, finally caving. "Did… my dad, talk to you?"

Oh. Weird way to try to transition, but he figured this talk was coming sooner or later. "Yeah, he did. I didn't uh-- didn't really plan it? But he was telling me something about getting two more roommates or something. He say anything?"

Tommy hummed and looked away, staring down at Sunkist as she started to chase her tail, twisting her leash in the process. "Yeah…"

Sunkist was acting way more excited than usual, and it only gave him mixed signals. She was a loveable big dog and _acted_ like a dog plenty of times, but she more or less liked lazing around, overly patient and calm. Something was up.

"You uh… Wanna tell me what he said?"

"What? Oh, y-yeah," Tommy gestured to Sunkist and she barked, starting to trod off so Gordon was forced to follow Tommy skating away. "There's-- he wanted me to tell you that there's someone and something at your house and that you _shouldn't_ freak out…"

"Tommy, you know me," Gordon huffed, starting up on a jog as Sunkist sped up. "I always freak out, the level of the problem," another huff "correlates with the level of," _man_ he needed to start running again. "-- _Sunkist_ please!"

"Sorry Mr. Freeman, she's just-- just excited because--!"

Gordon stopped well before Sunkist did, watching Tommy barely skid to a stop before toppling over into the grass. He helped him to his feet, brain running on autopilot as he plucked Tommy's discarded hat from the lawn and dusting it off. Just as he gave it back, someone cleared his throat.

"Um, hello, Dr. Freeman."

"Yo." Gordon ran a hand through his hair, looking up just to freeze.

A familiar scientist was sitting on his porch, still wearing the exact same black mesa uniform he'd been wearing the day they met. He plucked at his stained cuffs and looked around, confused and uncomfortable, bouncing his leg. Darnold. "Seems… like your arm finally healed." He tried at a joke, and Gordon exhaled.

That was probably what they were waiting for, some sort of noise from him, as Tommy sighed and set his hands on his knees.

"Yeah, it-- it got better." Gordon gestured to it. "Gotta hand it to you, your potion uh-- it had lasting effects."

"Really? A pun?" Tommy huffed, Gordon trying his hardest to ignore that question. He couldn't help it, the moment you start accepting that you no longer have a hand is the exact moment you're allowed to make awful puns.

Darnold laughed, a relaxed laugh that seemed to take most of the tension out his body. He looked tired, and stressed. Way more stressed than before, and that was saying something. Leaning back onto the porch stairs behind him, Darnold extended his legs, slightly showing off those very same rocket boots. Something was up.

"I uh… I've… I was told to come here? By Tommy's dad, and I didn't want to intrude, but it seems like I was anyway." Darnold started, a solemn expression shifting onto his face. "I lived in Black Mesa, in the dorms. House life wasn't good, and transportation was a no-go. So I just… moved there. It was allowed and all, but when stuff started to go down while I was in my lab, I knew I had nowhere else to go. Tried… tried to escape, you saw, but there were so many _aliens_ and soldiers and violence and--"

"Darnold, Darnold," Gordon and Tommy were at his sides in an instant, Gordon laying his hand on the scientist's back out of habit. Tommy gave him space, but did tap his knee and bit and waved to Sunkist. She bounded the stairs, out of sight. "You don't have to explain if you don't want to. I know it was-- shit hit the fan down there, and I…" he waved his prosthetic hand in example, and Darnold stared down at it.

"We all barely made it out, man, and it was hell for you too. If-- hey, if you need a place to stay, my door's open. I got like, four extra rooms not being used right now, stay as long as you want man." He shrugged, going back into rubbing Darnold's back. The man rocked with each movement, not saying anything about it. Sunkist came back, nudging Darnold slightly before dropping a soda can in his lap. He took it silently and fiddled with the tab, not opening it yet.

Darnold sighed after a beat, looking more troubled than before somehow, and Tommy drummed his fingers on his knees. "Y-yeah! Mr. Freeman let all of us live there, and-- and all he asks is that we be nice and don't mess with Joshua!"

"...Joshua?"

"My son, he's five. As long as you don't insult, do dangerous things, or hurt him in any way, we're good."

Darnold looked at the can, frowning at the label. Dr. Pepper. "Are… Are you sure? I don't want to impose and--"

"We're sure." Gordon stood up, stretching his arms above his head with a quiet groan. "Hell, it would be nice to have some more normalcy to balance out the rest of the chaos."

Darnold was homeless, essentially. Only lived in Black Mesa, and with it currently down, he didn't have anywhere else to stay. With the 'one month' deadline being pushed back further and further with Gman telling about constant complications and trying to wipe away whatever was left of the chaos inside, there was no other place for the man to stay. It also helped that they were all still getting paid. Hush money, but money was money. Gordon had zero problem letting the man into his home if that meant he wasn't just out on the street, he couldn't live like that. Not when Darnold saved his life… As weird as the solution was.

It took a bit more thought, but the man eventually gave in, standing up and heading inside Gordon's house. Though, as soon as he got to the front step, Gordon and Tommy kicked off their shoes and skates respectively, so he awkwardly shuffled out of his rocket shoes and stood in his old, worn socks.

Luckily, neither of them said anything. He plucked at his sleeves and finally stepped into the living room just to see the rest of the Science Team… hanging out.

Bubby, and Benrey were playing Mario Kart and Coomer was cheering on whoever was currently in the lead like an overhyped announcer, speaking into a rolled up newspaper like it was a microphone. Sunkist had dragged over her bag of kibble and was scooping some into her bowl, of course spilling most of it, but she tried.

Gordon turned to Darnold and winked. "Watch this." He looked at the group, who were far too distracted to even notice their presence, and called out. "Hey guys, Darnold's gonna be living here."

"pog." Benrey mumbled, then spat out some Sweet Voice in a violent torrent towards the ceiling as an NPC crashed into him and knocked him off the course.

"Can he cook?" Bubby didn't look up from the screen, grinning as he gained on Benrey and hovered just behind him. Gordon looked at Darnold, and the scientist shrugged.

"Yeah?"

"Cool. Lunch is on him-- _gotcha_ you slimey bitch!!"

"Bubby has caught up to the bitch!" Coomer cheered, throwing his hands into the air just to sharply bring them back down. "But what is this, Benrey has a-- oh no, a red shell! Professor Bubby has lost their significant lead--!"

" _DOCTOR_."

"See?" Gordon led them off, and Tommy hummed that he would make lunch actually and left them to do as they pleased. He stopped to clean up Sunkist's mess and poured back the extra food she sneakily tried to pile on her bowl, then gave her water as well. Darnold plucked at his sleeves again. Wanted all his damn dirty clothes _off_.

As they walked through the hallway, it broke off and opened into what looked like a mirror image of the house, though slightly less lived in. It was used, sure, but only when someone wanted to be left alone, or wanted to do something that would take up a lot of space. It was mostly reserved for movies or using the Kinect, but he figured Darnold would use it best. The dude was kempt, but messy, based on what he saw of the man's lab.

"Welcome to uh… dos casa?" Gordon held his hands out, tilting his head a bit. He knew he said that wrong, he just knew it. "I know you probably don't need all this space, but I know we won't really use it that often. Benrey's set up in my room, Bubby and Coomer share a room, and Tommy's room is the guest room on this side of the house because he's a light sleeper. So, it'll be like living in a big college dorm, kinda."

Darnold stared on in shock and confusion, silently walking around a bit. Relatively clean kitchen, stocked cabinets (though few dishes. Main dishes seemed to be in the other kitchen), stocked fridge though it was mostly filled with snacks, clean… everything else. He felt slightly out of place.

"Oh yeah, I got-- I think I got some spare clothes that'll fit you, if you wanna get those washed. Gonna do laundry in a second anyway."

"Really, is all this okay?" Darnold blurted out, facing him suddenly. "This is like-- this is more than I could ask for, Dr. Freeman I--"

"Gordon." 

"I-- what?"

"Just call me Gordon, Darnold. Welcome to the family."

And just like that, the dam broke. Darnold curled into himself, going over to the couch and sitting down heavily. Gordon was at his side in a second, handing him a box of tissues and telling him he'd return in a moment to get him some clothes. And, Darnold nodded, appreciating the space as he silently cried over the hospitality.

Gordon left him be. He opened the door to his room and softly closed it behind him, going over to his closet and stopping short.

When he walked in, he passed nor more than a glance at his bed simply because he wasn't paying attention to it, but… yeah, no, something was-- what the fuck?

"What the fuck?" Gordon voiced his thoughts, looking at the black cat curled up on his sheets. He didn't have a cat. None of his windows were open, either-- where the hell did a _cat_ come from?

He grabbed all his old clothes that no longer fit and folded them in his arms, keeping a close eye on the sleeping cat. It wasn't exactly _doing_ anything, but paranoia was a hell of a drug. Once he had a stack he was sure Darnold could fit, and some he was sure the odd scientist would like, he left the cat alone ( _for now)_ and returned to the second 'house' to find Darnold peeking into the guest room. He followed him in and set the clothes on the bed, giving Darnold a light pat on the back on instinct.

"Sorry," Gordon whispered, drawing his hand back. "I'm a touchy guy, tryna work on that--"

"What? Oh. No, it's," Darnold shrugged his lab coat off and dropped it on the floor, glaring down at it for a second. "Pats on the back are fine. I like them. Please do not touch me in any other way."

"You got it." A nod. No problem with that, and good that he knew. "Hey, Tommy's gonna be done with lunch soon. Feel free to come by for some."

Darnold nodded at him but didn't seem to be paying that close attentio. He picked up a light orange shirt with a giant, tacky graphic of beakers and test tubes full of various liquids on the front of it, captioned 'I'm A Scientist!' In bold white letters. The smile on his face was only to hold back a laugh.

"Listen man--" Gordon ran a hand through his hair and picked up another shirt that was similar, except it had strings of DNA woven around on it, and he wrinkled his nose at the baby blue colour. "Okay, no, scratch that. I was-- I was a weird kid, I have zero excuses."

"No no no! It's…" Darnold finally laughed, quick and light. It was nice to hear. He giggled more to himself, looking down at the rest of the clothes folded on the bed. They were all of similar caliber, tacky, weird, or just plain old geeky, and he couldn't be any happier with Young Gordon for being so unapologetically odd. "It's perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts about Darnold? In this fic or otherwise. With how far deep his 'lab' was. There was no way he was leaving black mesa every day to go home. He had to have lived in there somehow, probably either living in dorms (those possibly exist) or living in his lab.  
> What happened to darnold once he left via rocket boots? The way the Science Team went was entirely untraceable, theres no way he'd be able to follow it backwards to the surface. Plus, he hates violence, he wouldnt be able to go far without being shot out from soldiers, helicopters, or attacked by aliens, or seen those the science team took out. So where'd he go?  
> I felt like I needed to fix that. Darnold is lovely.  
> (Also how fucking OLD is he someone please give me his age)
> 
> Also, a cat ;3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cat has been explained....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm starting this by saying that I'm pretty injured, so sitting, laying or anything in between to write is now very painful and I cannot do so for long. So! Updates will take a bit longer than usual while i try to figure out what the fuckest is wrong with me. I'm on some pretty strong pain meds that knock me out, so i have a little less time than usual to get chapters done
> 
> So, enjoy this chapter for the time being! Thank you for reading and love you!

Once Gordon gathered everyone's dirty clothes and utilized  _ both  _ washing machines (having about 8 people living in the house lead to a  _ lot _ of laundry. Who knew?), he decided to tackle the mystery of The Cat. It hadn't been doing anything when he went into his room, and didn't even look bothered when he took his clothes down to Darnold, but he just… had a strong habit of not trusting anything right away. Blame it on Black Mesa, because his head was  _ determined _ to tell him it was some sort of alien ready to attack him.

He peeked his head into the living room and looked around, seeing Tommy having joined in on playing some other game with Dr. Coomer that he didn't recognize. They must have bought it at some point. Lunch was already done and served, some grilled cheese that Bubby suggested, so suppose it was his turn to make dinner. Had a few hours before that happened, so all was good.

His eyes landed on a familiar figure standing in the kitchen, eating shredded cheese straight out of the bag. "Benrey?"

The absolute  _ speed _ the eldritch being had at snapping the bag closed and throwing it into the fridge was immeasurable, but he was quick to recover. Quietly closing the fridge and turning to face him as if he hadn't been doing anything. "yo. wasn't uh… yo."

"Smooth." Gordon smirked. "I need your uh… protection? Back up? Or something. Something's in my room and my paranoia is acting up and--"

Benrey was at his side in a second, nearly shoulder to shoulder with him at the mention of needing protection. "something bothering you?" He asked, switching between looking at Gordon and then his door. "I'll go first."

Gordon followed close behind anyway because, really, it was just a cat and he  _ knew _ that, but his brain wouldn't let him accept that. He just needed to make sure Benrey didn't get his eyes clawed out, even if he could regrow them or whatever.

Benrey cracked his door open, holding his hand back as if to stop Gordon from following him, then hummed and stepped further in. Gordon, against his actions, followed him. There was a pregnant pause, both of them looking around for the supposed threat, with Benrey even dropping down to peek under the bed just to see a shoebox or two of probably some personal items. "... what was in your room?"

"Oh god don't tell me it got out." 

Benrey stood turned to him, about to say he might have imagined it, when his eyes trailed up to the chester just beside his door with a black cat sitting on top of it. He blinked at it, and it blinked it's bright yellow eyes back. "you're uh… you're not supposed to be in here."

The cat's tail flicked as it crouched there, staring down the two with a low warning meow and hiss. Benrey mimicked it, slowly approaching the cat as Gordon pulled out his phone. Hopefully Benrey wouldn't freak out while he text Gman.

'So, a cat?'

It was sixty solid seconds before Gman responded. Benrey hissed again, but this time the sound was corrupted with static. Gordon hoped he wasn't using Sweet Voice in his room, he  _ didn't _ want it to stain his walls.

'I had strict protocol to never bring pets into the workplace, but humans are known for being overly stubborn… No one could find the owner, so it's assumed it snuck in somehow. I feel you can… handle a small, kitten, as it is…'

"I know exactly nothing about taking care of cats," Gordon muttered to himself and looked up, just to sputter and snicker at seeing Benrey standing wide eyed, holding the cat in his lap. A steady stream of sunny yellow Sweet Voice floating around him. "I take it you like it?"

"bro this…" Benrey looked at the cat, mouthing something that Gordon couldn't translate. "little homie got the-- the sweet speedrun strats any%. love cheat codes. got the controller set to vibrate, bro."

Gordon wheezed a small laugh and went over to the two, pocketing his phone and lifting his left hand to the cat's nose. It leaned forward and sniffed his knuckles, before bumping its head into his hand with a raspy, purr-filled meow. "Benrey, that's called  _ purring _ , and this is a cat. I know they purr when they feel good or feel safe… I think." The second part was only because he knew Benrey struggled with naming animals (if him calling a pigeon an 'ostrich' was anything to go by), but Benrey's eyes seemed to sparkle at hearing that the cat felt safe in his arms.

"oh." Benrey suddenly said, as the cat shifted in his arms, and Gordon pulled back and sat on the bed. Paranoia finally faded enough that he was able to relax, but the "oh" wasn't helping keep it down in the slightest. The guard just got closer, moving his arms to carefully deposit the cat into his lap. The moment it was set down, Gordon sighed.

The cat had three legs. It had a stump for a right arm, the wound old enough that there wasn't any scar and that the fur had regrown entirely. It rasped another meow, looking entirely exhausted as it stretched its lanky legs and hobbled off his lap to curl up on the bed again. It purred loudly, kneading the covers as it started to go to sleep. Leaving Gordon and Benrey to look at the cat rather awkwardly. Benrey crouched.

"what the fuck is a 'aaaihhr'?" He whispered, mimicking it's meow, and Gordon nearly busted a gut, instinctively petting the cat. It's fur was a bit rough, it needed a bath and a name, but it probably needed  _ food _ and  _ rest _ first. "wh?"

"You, man." The cat's purr grew even louder as Gordon continued. He lifted its tail for a second, then nodded and continued to pet her. "I dunno, you're just funny. The-- the way you say stuff sometimes. 'S funny. I think that makes sense?"

Benrey had yet to stop crouching, humming lightly as Gordon babbled on about him being funny despite not actively trying to be. He didn't know how to respond, so he just sang out some Sweet Voice that didn't exactly mean anything. Didn't stop Gordon from looking at it curiously, but he didn't ask.

Would it be weird to ask if Gordon could pet him? Probably. Think humans only did that to animals.

Gordon glanced at his phone for the time, then stood. "I gotta start on dinner. You wanna help?"

"pog."

"You do know that means nothing to me? I have no idea if that's a yes or no."

"pog."

Bastard.

Turns out, 'pog' in this case meant yes. They settled on burritos because it only required actually cooking three things, ground beef, beans, and rice (as Joshua only liked bean and rice burritos, something about not liking the texture of ground beef) with the rest of the time being the wrapping. After an awful pun from Gordon asking for Benrey to give him a hand as he tore his second burrito tortilla, Gordon was in charge of filling and Benrey was in charge of wrapping and stopping himself from eating straight sour cream.

Dr. Coomer had been in charge of going to the store to buy cat supplies, and he happily left with Bubby without asking a single question. Gordon just hoped they wouldn't go overboard.

"Mr. Freeman, is John going to pick up Joshua today?" Tommy asked, leaning over the counter as they finished setting up the table.

Gordon looked at the time, then shook his head. "No he's-- nah, he's doing something, I was gonna pick him up." He patted Benrey's back and walked to the door, grabbing his keys from the rack. Sunkist lifted her head at the noise, and he booper her nose without thought. "Did one of you wanna come with me?"

Benrey, again, was right at his side before he finished speaking. But, Tommy got up too, all smiles as he slid on his shoes and waved Sunkist over so he could snap her leash on. "Is it alright if we come along? So we can-- so I can pick him up if you're busy!"

Funny how he was asking  _ as _ he was getting dressed, but Gordon nodded anyway, turning to peek into the living room.

"Darnold!" He called.

…

"Yeah?" Darnold's muffled voice came from the other side of the house, along with quiet shuffling as he headed down the hallway.

"We're gonna go pickup Joshua, think you can hold down the fort?"

Darnold leaned around the corner, sporting some cargo shorts and the  _ awful _ orange shirt Gordon picked out. It fit perfectly and he struggled to not laugh at the outfit.

"Sure? What-- what do you expect to even happen?" Darnold smirked, making Gordon wave his hand and shrug.

"You never know! Bubby and Coomer could come back early and get all the burritos. Or, the laundry could get done!" He grinned. "We'll be right back, see ya!"

Darnold chuckled a bit and took stand next to the burritos as if he was really protecting them, and the trio (quartet?) left for Joshua.

Darnold took a seat and looked around the room, humming a bit to himself. While he'd only been there a few hours, he was already feeling right at home.

He had woken up in his lab with a mysterious man standing over him, resembling Tommy but if he was just… old, overpowering, and dangerous. He said something about him needing to be gone, and right then and there Darnold accepted that he was going to die. Going to be his final moments, spent curled up in his lab for however long, then murdered by the hand of a man dressed in a suit.

But then, he continued. Told him that he would be moving in with Dr. Freeman, that his work was too valuable for him to be 'disposed of'. He wasn't sure what any of it meant, wasn't sure if Dr. Freeman was even alive or not, but the very next moment the world collapsed on him and he jolted awake sitting on a porch as Tommy skated up to him, Sunkist pulling him along. 

Tommy filled him in, though he seemed just as confused as he was, but he seemed… happy. Excited that he was there, which was a rarity. Darnold hadn't seen outside in so long that he was overwhelmed, settling on looking down at his dirty clothes and picking at the sleeves. He looked awful, unfitting, and as Gordon walked up to him and sat next to him and even  _ thanked _ him for his help, it really brought forth the waterworks.

When he moved into the guest room, it was a bit barren. With just furniture that seemed to exist there before him, like a desk, bookshelf, TV and its stand, and an unused bed with sheets so clean they still smelled like plastic, but… it fit him, somehow. He got to take a shower, the first real shower in months, with actual soap and hot water, and got to put on clean clothes and got to eat real food and got to take a  _ nap _ . He got to sleep! In a real bed!

It was almost enough to get him crying again, not used to the hospitality, but a loud series of beeps distracted him from his thoughts and he stood, following the sound to one of the washing machines. Well, Gordon even said the laundry could be done. Just as Darnold started transferring the wet clothes to the dryer, he spotted his old lab coat. It was white, again, but the sleeves were lightly stained with pink, yellow, and green marking from spilled potions over the years. It was perfect. He set everything in the dryer just as the other machine went off, and went to find and transfer that one too.

He was  _ already _ pulling his weight!

"Wonder if Gordon would let me use some of his supplies to make potions, though…" he asked himself, a bit too used to talking out loud.

The sound of keys jingling made him stand up straight and jog to the living room, taking perch by the burritos just in case (what was he going to do? They were too hot to eat just yet, if Bubby and Coomer tried to eat them they'd just burn their tongues). The door opened, Tommy and Sunkist coming in first with a polite wave and a bark towards him respectively. Gordon came in second, looking down and laughing.

"...you can't-- no you--  _ Benrey _ stop encouraging him!"

Joshua looked up at Gordon and then Benrey, who was buzzing in tune with the kid. Joshua was a cute kid! He had to say. Head full of overly fluffy dark brown hair that wasn't as long as Gordon's, but was definitely getting there. His face was full of dark freckles and he smiled so wide with such unbridled delight that Darnold couldn't help feeling happy at the sight. His eyes were crinkled until he couldn't see, just blindly following Gordon's lead as he kicked his shoes off and handed Sunkist his bookbag. Gordon's son was wonderful.

Though, as soon as the kid opened his eyes, he looked at Darnold and tilted his head.

Gordon noticed the silence and hummed, turning to the two. "Yeah, Joshie, this is Darnold, he's the one that helped me get this cool arm! He's gonna be staying on the other side of the house." He ruffled Joshua's already messy hair, and the kid slowly approached Darnold. "And Darnold, this is Joshua, my son that I was telling you about earlier." He spoke with a quiet, hidden threat that meant 'hurt him and I hurt you', but Darnold got it.

Joshua mouthed something, moving his hands in sign. Gordon was quick to translate, seeing Darnold's confusion. "He asked 'did you help dad'."

Oh, he could answer that! "Yep! I made-- I made a potion! It was really strong and it made your dad strong enough to…" he looked at Gordon for a second, seeing his face pulled into a stern expression just behind Joshua. Don't tell him everything, it said, and he smiled. "It made him strong enough to come home to you sooner! I'm-- I'm a hero." He jutted his thumb to his chest, and Joshua hummed and turned to his dad, starting to sign.

"It's true, buddy." Gordon crouched, Joshua's eyes lighting up. "Missed you so much, and Darnold was a big help in getting me back home to you. Can-- you feel up to thanking him?"

Joshua looked at Darnold, then Gordon, then back again and mumbled something neither of them could make out. Luckily, Benrey was to the rescue, stepping forward and singing out some Sweet Voice before wrapping his arm around Darnold's shoulders, much to his demise.

"bbbbbro he's-- he likes cowboys," he said, and, while yes it was true Darnold  _ did _ like cowboys, he wasn't sure what that had to do with anything until Joshua looked up with a gasp, rushing over to Darnold and clapping. 

He gasped out "C-c-c--" then moved his hands in a gesture Darnold could only guess was meant to symbolize guns, then it clicked. Joshua liked cowboys.

Gordon chuckled and stood up, dusting off his knees. "Why am I not surprised that got him to warm up?" He joked, going over and hoisting Joshua up into his arm. "We're gonna wash our hands, little cowboy, that sound good?"

Joshua clicked his tongue again, mushing his face against Gordon's cheek in an attempt at a hug? Maybe? It was hard to tell. The door opened and closed again before they got to the hallway, Bubby and Coomer waving to them while holding just…  _ way _ too many bags for just getting 'cat stuff.' Guess they just got excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Darnold description, because we all need it (i didn't include that his compute had been broken because Benrey poured a potion all over it, and that he only had about three rooms to travel between, because i didnt know how to include it. So just assume Darnold's a bit fucked up and kinda shakey still)  
> Darnold likes cowboys, he's gonna play red dead redemption and also rocks out with some solid tf2 from time to time  
> He's chill with cartoon and game violence but??? Real life??? He'd perish himself if he even Accidentally hit someone  
> Also a little joshua description because hes fuckin cute hes a cute kid and i wanna boop his nose


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey realizes that humans are weird and fragile, yet fascinating and powerful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for:  
> Being sick, shaking, and crying  
> Passing out

Benrey woke up.

It wasn't uncommon for him to wake up, he usually did it every day, but no, it was currently… 2:15 AM and he was hearing far too much noise. Bubby and Coomer would sometimes stay up late to watch TV or a movie together, but this didn't sound like the TV. It sounded like coughing, and the doorknob jiggling. Benrey slid from the bed and gave Gordon a quick once over to make sure he was still asleep and okay-- he was, by the way-- then opened the door to see Sunkist standing there. Orbs of black and grey Sweet Voice were floating around her as she paced, rushing off towards Joshua's door then back to his side.

It only took a second before he followed her, stepping into his dimly lit room just to see the kid rolling around in bed, stopping to groan or cough. Different colours of 'you're fine' and 'heal beam' Sweet Voice stained the sheets, obviously coming from Sunkist trying to help before giving up. Benrey kneeled at the bed, gently shaking Joshua awake. The poor kid slowly opened his bleary eyes, tears trailing down his cheeks as he struggled to get a breath in between coughs.

"hey Joshua," Benrey whispered, rubbing his tears away with his knuckles as he carefully sat him up in bed. "bad-- bad dream?"

Joshua hiccuped, then shook his head and roughly started to scrub his tears away.

Oh goodness, no that-- that looked like it hurt. Benrey pulled his hands from his face and held them steady so he couldn't do it again, then wracked his brain for any other reason the kid wouldn't be breathing right and crying. Asthma? A few scientists at Black Mesa had asthma, and had inhalers. Did he have an inhaler?

"asthma?" He asked, but Joshua shook his head again, quietly starting to whine and trying to tug his hands from Benrey's soft grip. When he slipped free, they shook, barely able to keep him upright. Benrey swallowed down some teal green Sweet Voice, knowing it would do nothing, and wrapped his arms around Joshua to lift him up. "we're-- I'll ask Gordon, okay? he can help little bro."

The kid barely reacted to his words, crying harder as he clutched to his shirt. Was he supposed to be so hot? Was it too warm in his room? Humans were usually not that hot, and he should know, Gordon was a cuddle bug if he ever did know one. Joshua was shaking in his arms, face buried in his shirt and hot tears soaking through the fabric as he started to huff. It wasn't a long trip at all, just maybe a few feet down the hall, but it felt like miles as Sunkist pushed open the door to Gordon's room and stepped aside.

Speaking of Gordon, the guy was half awake when they walked in, staring at the ceiling with the cat sitting on his chest. At the sound of footsteps he turned his head to see Benrey, Joshua, and Sunkist (or at least their vague shapes) and sat up, hurrying to get up and put on his glasses at the same time. The cat jumped off him and stood on his pillow instead, vaguely alarmed.

"Joshie?" Gordon whispered, carefully taking him from Benrey's arms and hissing in sympathy. "Oh honey you're burning up, I hope it's not a fever. Let's get you to the bath-- Benrey, can you see if there's some orange juice in the fridge and pour him a cup? It's the only thing he'll drink when he's sick. And Sunkist, follow me. I might need your help."

Gordon was a natural born leader, it seemed, as Benrey nodded and rushed off to do what he was told and Sunkist followed Gordon closely. Joshua was still shaking in Gordon's arms as he was taken into the bathroom, where he shifted him onto his hip to one-handedly search through the medicine cabinet for a thermometer. The moment his hand made contact with it, it fell free and almost hit the ground had Sunkist not caught it.

"Good girl," Gordon whispered, taking the thermometer from her and running the end of it under some hot water. Once it was clean, he set it under Joshua's tongue and turned it on. He sat on the tub's edge and reached out to turn it on, running the faucet until it was lukewarm and plugging the drain.I. "How do you feel, Joshie?"

Joshua barely made a noise, trying to breathe deeply through his half-clogged nose. Sunkist nosed at his hand and licked his arm in a form of comfort, and he was slightly able to lift his hand enough to pet her between the ears.

"Thanks, Sunkist." Gordon scratched under her ear as Joshua pulled away. "Can you go get Joshua's humidifier? It's black and-- and sitting on the nightstand, it has stickers of fish on it." He stopped at the colour description, unsure how many colours Sunkist could even see, but she seemed to nod anyway and moved off.

The thermometer beeped.

"100.5°F." Gordon kissed his forehead, uncaring about the sweat. "Man when you get sick, you go all the way, don't you. C'mon, gotta get your clothes off, bath's ready."

Joshua lifted his hands in a weak attempt to sign, but Gordon just sighed, gently pulling off Joshua's shirt. "I know you can bathe by yourself, but this is a fever and I want to help." The shirt came off and immediately went into the hamper, along with his underwear.  _ Both _ were soaked in sweat, it was unbelievable. "You know when you get too sick, you pass out. C'mon, Joshie."

Gordon leaned back and carefully set Joshua in the shallow water, earning a heedy hiss from the kid as he tried to scrunch up on himself at the stark contrast in temperatures.

"yo," Benrey whispered, holding out two cups of orange juice and handing both to Gordon. One had a straw. "didn't uh… have it. had to get some."

Joshua took his with shaking hands, drinking lightly from the straw as the cup dipped into the water. Not low enough that anything flooded into it.

"You went to the store?" Gordon grabbed Joshua's body towel and set it in the water, wrapping it around his shoulders like a  _ very _ soggy cape. 

"kinda." Benrey shrugged. Gordon opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but figured to not question it as Sunkist came back with the humidifier. She was holding it carefully, the thing slightly too big for her to hold carefully in her mouth. Gordon grabbed it from her with a quick pet, then excused himself to get some filtered water.

"Joshie, you want Benrey and Sunkist to leave while I get some water?" He asked, standing just by the door. Joshua rubbed away from tears and sipped from his orange juice, nodding quietly. "Okay. I'll have them stand outside the door. I'll be right back."

He nodded to them and they did as he said, standing right outside the cracked door as Gordon hurried off into the kitchen. Benrey looked at Sunkist.

"you know what's up with Gordos Jr? what's being 'sick'?" He only knew about scientists that 'call in sick', whatever that meant. He only knew it meant that they wouldn't go to work for a few days then would suddenly come back and not say anything about what was wrong. Humans were weird and he never bothered to learn much to anything about them until Gordon came around.

Sunkist tilted her head, chewing around some Sweet Voice as she tried to find a translation that meant 'fever'. She eventually settled on barking a deep brown that reminded her of a beaver, hoping the translation would come across, but by the odd expression Benrey held, it didn't land. There was a rather loud splash and they peeked their heads into the bathroom just to… Not see Joshua.

Benrey was in first, rushing to the tub to see that Joshua had collapsed backwards, slightly floating in the shallow water and huffing quickly. Luckily it wasn't deep enough for his mouth to get covered, but Benrey sat him up anyway, wrapping the towel back around his shoulders. Gordon hadn't even been gone a minute.

He came in just that second, seeing Joshua curled up in Benrey's wet arms, breathing entirely from his mouth now and shivering. He didn't say anything at first, just gently nudged Benrey away and picked up Joshua, ripping his own towel from the wrack and wrapping it around him. "Bath's done. Benrey, grab the humidifier, I left it on the counter."

His tone was rough, but Benrey did as he was told without hesitation. As he got back to Joshua's room, the kid was loosely dressed in a shirt a bit too big for him and curled up on the bed. Sunkist was tapping her paws just a few feet away, anxiously singing out Sweet Voice. As Benrey handed the full humidifier over, he noticed he was doing it too. Gordon set the thing up on the nightstand and sat with Joshua, letting him lay his head in his lap and humming.

Shards of sentences hung in the air via Sweet Voice, all revolving around 'worry', 'heal', 'fine', and 'okay'. Gordon couldn't translate all but one, but it was pretty, and as Joshua woke up, he stared at the lights and started to breathe through his nose again, silently, weakly tapping his fingers to show his happiness.

"There's my little Joshie," Gordon whispered, running his fingers through Joshua's slowly drying hair. "Feel a little better?"

They watched the colours for a bit longer, Benrey doing it on purpose now as Sunkist backed off. For any of her Sweet Voice to linger, she had to bark, and she doubted that would be good for a kid that was trying to sleep. Joshua raised his hand and wiggled it in a 'so-so' gesture.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Gordon paused in the hair petting, and Joshua grumbled until he continued. "You want something while we're here? Some water, more orange juice, or do you want to sleep?"

Joshua held up three fingers, meaning the third option, and Gordon nodded.

"Benrey, can you do a Sleep Song?"

"wh," the guard coughed around some leftover Sweet Voice, waving it away as the request sank in. "oh, ok. get ready for the best sleep of your life small cowboy man. five out of five."

He opened his mouth and started low, a deep hum that raised into a soothing tone that wavered just a little. Blue to umber, yellow to white, then white to grey. Repeated in a round as Joshua reached out and flicked at a few of the bubbles, causing them to pop into harmless smoke. Soon, he and Gordon started to yawn, but Joshua was out like a light just seconds later and Gordon carefully moved him to lay in bed comfortably, then stood up to leave.

Benrey and Sunkist gave Joshua another once over, then left before Gordon, leaving him to fiddle with the thermostat then blow a kiss to his sleeping son.

Sunkist walked in circles in front of the door, but Gordon gave her a fur ruffle and told her to go back to Tommy for the night, her work was done. She did so obediently, leaving Gordon and Benrey still in the hall.

Once she was gone, Gordon turned and wrapped his arms around Benrey in a tight hug, laying his head on his side and patting his back.

"Thank you, man." He sighed, squeezing a bit tighter for a second. "Really. I might have been a little demanding, but I was worried. Just, thank you so much for-- for being there. Getting to Joshua and bringing-- bringing him to me, then saving him when he passed out and--"

"shhh." Benrey hugged him back, laying his head on his opposite shoulder with a quiet hum. He wasn't good with words, not like Gordon, so he didn't say anything else. Luckily, he understood the both of them hugging in silence for a bit longer as Gordon calmed down enough to pull from the hug with a tired chuckle. Benrey went to say something, something stupid probably, but Gordon beat him by reaching up and ruffling his unkempt hair and effectively shutting him right the hell up. He didn't even know he had left the bed without putting his helmet back on.

"Thanks again, man. I just… I'm still a little stressed, and you and Sunkist helped a lot. I'm-- that Sweet Voice really packed a punch, I'm gonna go lay down." Gordon moved off to the side and opened his door, seeing the cat lift her head to squeak out a quiet meow. They'd really have to name her. She already had multiple cat beds, giant litter boxes, and was stuffed to the brim with soft food, but no one had settled on a name.

He looked at Benrey as he laid on the bed, barely ignoring the cat crawling right back onto his chest as if that was her new sleeping spot. "I know this is asking a lot, but can you help me keep an eye on him? Just… Every hour or so, to make sure he's okay."

"always, bro." Benrey sat right next to him on the bed, leaning back against the headrest. "don't gotta worry abt it. we-- uh… we're family... _ right _ ?" The last part came out as a quiet, squeaked whisper, but Gordon heard it. He reached beside him and laced his and Benrey's fingers together, holding them up. Metallic right hand, and black tipped clawed left hand. Strangely fitting.

"Hell yeah, we're family. Like-- like long lost brothers. Brothers from another universe, heh." Gordon gave a dopey smile and waved their entwined hands around. "You gotta compete with John, but I'm-- I'm happy to have two brothers."

Benrey tried his hardest to not explode into happy buzzes, instead resorting to Sweet Voice. Gordon let him use that endlessly, as long as he didn't get too loud or ear piercing. It ended up a rainbow mess, too many happy feelings bubbling in his chest from being considered Gordon's  _ brother _ making his Sweet Voice lose focus, but neither really cared. Gordon just giggled a bit and took his glasses off with his free hand, leaving their hands tangled still as he drifted off into a half sleep.

Benrey would wake him up if he heard anything. It was just like old times, where he felt like he was the great protector. Hovering over them, keeping them safe. But now, the danger was small, of Joshua just being a sick, whatever that meant. It seemed like he was doing okay, and his song of 'have a nice slumber, everything's alright, you'll be okay' took the little cowboy  _ right _ out so he doubted he would wake up anytime soon.

And, as the night progressed, he didn't.

Benrey still got up to check on him from time to time, making sure to see if he was breathing correctly-- he was-- sleeping soundly-- still was-- and not shaking or sweating-- nope and nada. Joshua was out like a light, and would stay that way until the morning.

He did down the other cup of orange juice that Joshua didn't get to and drained the bathtub, wringing out the towel and hanging it over the shower rail to air dry. Just little touch ups here and there, making sure everything was okay before he went to bed with Gordon and let himself fall into a gentle sleep. Joshua would be okay. Good thing he had all of them with him.

...he felt really bad about calling him shit back in Black Mesa. He'd apologize to Gordon for it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I am not sick! And yes, i just said that its harder for me to make chapters, but right now im on some pain meds and theyre like slowly kicking in and I was able to sit down and get this out. If anything seems slightly wonky, im sorry!!
> 
> I based this off of how bad some of my fevers would get as a kid, and how they would randomly spring up at night and would hit Hard.
> 
> What should the cat's name be??
> 
> Benrey care Joshua momence  
> Benrey is??? Brother??? Gordon adopts benrey into the family and they become bothers for life


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Joshua gets worried and then they all colour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've been away for a while. Health update: It's! Not changing! I still feel sharp pains whenever i breathe or move in any way, and no one is quite sure what the hell is wrong with me, so im just ploppin medicine and hopin for the best
> 
> I struggled a Lot with this chapter! I have over 6k words of "bloopers" from me starting the chapter, not liking how it was flowing, not liking the way i was portraying a certain character, or not liking something else about it. Hopefully i'll be able to use all those words someday, but for now, i hope you enjoy this chapter!

The day and a half of Joshua being sick was, in short, awful.

He was way more fussy than normal, much more both demanding and independent,  _ somehow _ . Refused to let anyone help him up in his chair when it was time to eat, instead opting to climb it and subsequently causing both him and the chair to fall, saved only by Sunkist taking the hit. And,  _ speaking _ of Sunkist, Joshua slapped her on the nose when she tried to hand him FruitSalad after it fell off the arm of the couch. Something about how she was 'trying to rip it up'. She wasn't, but in Joshua's eyes she was a feral beast.

Safe to say, Tommy wasn't really happy to talk to Joshua for the day. Tommy was a man hard to make angry, but turns out his anger switch was big, fluffy, and yellow.

But, luckily, it all came to a simmer when Joshua's temperature also did the same. It was him being sick that really caused him to turn into a brat, as the very next afternoon right after a burrito dinner and cold medicine induced sleep, Joshua was all tears and sincere blubbering apologies. He handed out marker-stained hand-written letters specifically for Tommy and Sunkist because he knew he hurt them the most, barely able to get out a sentence on what they were for as he held them out.

"Thank you…" Tommy mostly mumbled, taking the neatly folded sheet of notebook paper from Joshua as the kid struggled to keep tears out of his eyes long enough to sign for 'sorry'. Just as he turned to give Sunkist her letter, Tommy took it and roughly said he'd read it to her, both of them retreating to Tommy's room to sort out their emotions. Which was for the best, Tommy was scary when he was upset. Gordon tried to not think about that time with Coomer's clones…

As Tommy passed, he sent a pointed look to Gordon, more specifically, his right arm.

Joshua watched them go, sniffling lightly. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned and grabbed onto Gordon's pants leg, looking up at him in silent conversation.

Gordon blinked back some heavy emotion, taking a deep breath through his nose. "You're… you're forgiven, Joshie. I know you were only being mean because you were sick," Gordon lifted Joshua with one arm, refusing to use his right one just yet. Damn his brain. "But no TV or video games for the week, okay? You made Tommy and Sunkist really upset yesterday, and they've been nothing but nice to you."

Joshua choked around another sniffle, scrubbing tears from his eyes as they started to fall. "So--sorry…" He mumbled, pressing into Gordon's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't-- I'm--"

"You said that," Bubby cut in, setting a hand on Joshua's back and casting a glance to Gordon's right arm. It was limp at his side, fingers curling and flexing, then balling into a tight fist. It clearly wasn't comfortable. "You said sorry, you gave them letters, you feel bad. Give them a moment, they'll figure it out." 

Dr. Coomer came up too, giving Joshua a small tug to get his attention. When he looked over, he held out his arms, making grabby hands until the old scientist took him from Gordon's arm. "Well said Dr. Bubby! I think Gordon here needs to go check up on our dear Tommy, correct?"

The way he looked at Gordon didn't say 'go check on Tommy', it said 'please take care of yourself'. Gordon read it well, but hesitated, unsure if leaving Joshua with them all again was a fine enough idea. Coomer didn't give him a chance to reply. "In the meantime, how about we play a game, dear Joshua?"

Taking the not at all subtle hint, Gordon retired himself to his room, letting the cat-- that Benrey got to name, he named it "Black Cherry, the Passport Guardian In Training" and it was so awful that it was just shortened to 'Cherry'-- to run free into the living room.

Benrey himself was stretched out on the arm of the couch, forgotten Switch controllers left in his lap as he fiddled with his fingers. He wasn't exactly used to Gordon's punishments, as his 'punishments' in Black Mesa usually revolved around some bullets in his face or chest, so he wasn't sure if that meant  _ he _ also couldn't play any games if that meant Joshua would be watching. He sang out some off-green coloured Sweet Voice mostly to vent, accidentally catching everyone else's attention.

"The hell are you confused about?" Bubby grumbled, taking place on the  _ actual  _ couch cushion while Dr. Coomer helped Joshua into the bathroom to dry his tears. Kid was out of the room, didn't have to worry about cursing right now.

"you can read Sweet Voice?"

"Always could, idiot." He shrugged. "Did you just never see Dr. Coomer using it all throughout Black Mesa? You sure  _ you _ don't need glasses?"

Benrey snorted, waving the rest of his chartreuse-confused Sweet Voice out the air with only half success. "just… Freeman." He answered honestly. "bein' parent seems major sucks? always stress. no alone time. like, I  _ love _ Joshua," he paused long enough to spit out some black, pink, and blue Sweet Voice in a hidden message, one he didn't want Bubby to translate out loud. Luckily, he didn't. "but just… you know? sucks not being able to help more. dunno the parent strats. didn't get the manual in the kit."

Bubby took off his glasses, long enough to slowly, methodically clean them on his sweater. Always a much better texture compared to his lab coat-- that thing never failed to just smudge shit around faster.

Benrey always had such a horrible way to confess his feelings, but luckily that message came across clear enough for Bubby to sigh. 

"Surprised he hasn't broken down faster." He said at length, and meant it. He was waiting the day Gordon would break down and let himself just  _ deal _ with all that happened. "I don't even think the kid likes me, so that's probably not helping. Sure, he probably needs help here and then, but we're here, aren't we? That's enough. He'll let us know if it isn't. Hopefully."

Benrey started to sing again, voice low and wavering. There wasn't a specific translation to the Voice now, as he was just making up the notes as he went. Colours that only Benrey could properly see dancing in the air, giving the vague answer of 'you're wrong'. He turned Gordon's Switch back on just to save the game and quit. "hope so." He agreed.

The sound of footsteps stopped them from talking further, Bubby being the only one looking up as he slid his freshly cleaned glasses back on.

"Hello, Joshua." He greeted, the kid lifting his free hand to wave. "Did you think about what you wanted to do today?"

Joshua's eyes lit up for a second and he turned to Dr. Coomer, signaling that he needed his second hand back so the scientist would let go. As soon as he did, he held his hand flat and ran his pinkie across his palm, then dropped one hand and used the other to wiggle his fingers against his chin.

"colour and draw?"

"It's 'draw' and then 'colour'. Since when could you read ASL?" Bubby spat, standing up from the couch to find where they hid the pencils and markers. Or crayons. What did they even  _ use _ to draw?

"m' not human, can understand any language bro."

"I don't think that's how that… Works?" Bubby opened a drawer just beside the TV, finding nothing but giant bags of candy inside. He stole a sucker from one, then at Joshua's pleading face, stole one for him as well and held a finger up to his mouth for him to keep quiet about their little exchange.

As soon as Benrey opened his mouth, Coomer smiled, interrupting by speaking louder than he should. Inside voices be damned. "I know Darnold has a lot of Crayola© Fine Line Fabric Markers he has collected, I can go see if he's willing to let us borrow some!"

He turned on the heel of his house-slipper and hurried down the conjoined halls, making sure Joshua was busy so he wouldn't follow him. Once he was positive the kid was entertained, mostly just excited that he had a sucker now, he made quick work in finding Darnold.

Which wasn't difficult in the slightest, the man was busy playing a game on the fancy new laptop Gordon let him buy. Couldn't be too sure when it came to Darnold, though, didn't want Joshua to somehow come across one of his potions and spill it, let alone ingest it.

"Doctor Darnold!" Dr. Coomer cheered, coming up behind the man and clapping a heavy hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch and knock his headphones off his head.

"Oh goodness--" he started to fall back in his chair, scrambling to grab onto the kitchen island. Coomer steadied him with one hand, as if that wasn't a feat and a half in itself.

"We request your assistance!" Coomer and Darnold watched the man's character die, body flopping over onto the ground as the camera panned over to presumably the character that killed him.

"...since I'm not busy anymore, I guess I can help." Darnold closed out the game and took his headphones off entirely with a wavering sigh, pausing long enough to glance down the opposite hallway, at Tommy's room. He didn't hear any more noise-- that was the main reason he left his room to play a game, he didn't want to bother the man when he was stressed. "What did you need, exactly?"

Coomer knew where he was looking and closed his eyes continuing to smile. "When that man in the suit dropped by to hand over the rest of your belongings, I noticed you had a large Tupperware container full of Crayola© type markers, and was wondering if you were willing to let us borrow them for the day."

Darnold stood up, mouth open on a shard of a sentence, until he let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding and went to his room. "How do you know about that? It was all in cardboard boxes, and only Dr. Freeman helped me bring it all in."

"I know many things, Dr. Pepper!"

"I'm not even going to ask how you know my last name." He pushed open his door, just to stop in the entrance. "Can you wait out here? No offence, but I don't like anyone in my room, sorry."

It was a half-truth, he only allowed Gordon and sometimes Tommy in his room, but for short periods of time only. It was the first time he had a room in  _ years _ , okay, let him have his things. Dr. Coomer just nodded with an understanding hum, stepping aside and letting Darnold traverse his own room. He was back within a minute, dragging a packed full ten gallon container by the handle.

"It's kinda heavy," he said, lifting it into both arms to hand over to the scientist. "Did you need anything else?"

Once he grabbed the container with just one hand, a silent show off, he grabbed Darnold's tacky sleeve and pulled. "Just you, my good bitch!"

Darnold… Wasn't really sure if he could complain, so he just followed along with vague mumbles of 'but my game'. The game was long forgotten, screen timed out, and score forever lost. Oh well.

As soon as they came into the living room, Bubby gave Dr. Coomer a smile. "Ah, hello Dr. Coomer. Hello Darnold."

"Hello dear Bubby!"

Darnold gave a weak smile in greeting, his sleeve finally being released so Coomer could effortlessly drop the container onto the ground. Joshua was over it in a second, haphazardly spilling its contents over the carpet and rooting through to find his favourite colours. Benrey was right next to him, mumbling each colour to himself as he picked up a marker.

Bubby thoughtfully ignored them and held up some old fabric, splaying it out to show it was a lab coat with the name "Bubby" stitched onto the breast of it. "Did you know that Gordon washed our lab coats?"

Oh, that was something he  _ did _ know! "Yep!" Darnold slightly interrupted. "He had me help with the laundry, everyone got their lab coats washed." While he wasn't sure  _ why _ , they could honestly just get new coats and patch their names on them again, but he supposed it was the sentiment that counted.

He would have continued had Benrey not appeared next to Bubby, holding onto Joshua as he attempted to sign something while keeping his hands full of markers. Benrey  _ tried _ to get him to put them down, but oh well.

"cowboy asked if he could draw on your weird shirt."

"It's a lab coat." Bubby shrugged and tossed the fabric on the ground. "And I don't care."

"shirt." Benrey dropped to the ground, letting Joshua go. "say thanks to grand Bubby, okay?"

And, Joshua did just that. He dropped his markers in a neat pile and ran up to Bubby, happily hugging his leg and humming something that might have been close to 'thank you'. Then pulled away and crossed his arms over his chest, fingerspelling 'Grand-Bubby'. Bubby stared down at him in shock, mouth hanging open as he struggled to find something to say.

"Did…" He finally managed, though he didn't actually say anything of importance.

"told you he actually likes you." Benrey stuck out his tongue, then picked up a red marker. "c'mon cowboy bro, I can't-- Bub's coat is gonna look so cool, you know how to draw fire?"

"Dangerous." Joshua nodded and grabbed a blue marker, mimicking Benrey's drawing of a small flame with his own. His flame was a bit wonky, blue and yellow instead of red and orange, but Benrey just cheered him on.

He started to colour his flame, the markers struggling to properly fill in the shape when dragging over such heavy fabric, but it was trying its best. "yo, can I colour in your fire when I'm done? It looks really cool."

Joshua had already started on two other flames, both of them slightly bigger than the first. "Yee…" he trailed off, looking over to Benrey's doodle and drawing a small heart next to it. Benrey responded by dropping his marker and picking up a washable one, reaching over and drawing a heart on the back of Joshua's hand.

The kid gasped and looked at the marking, giggling happily and flapping his free hand. He stopped only long enough to draw  _ two _ hearts on Benrey's hand, not noticing that he was using his permanent marker still, but Benrey couldn't find it within himself to care about it and just pat Joshua's head, telling him to keep the marker on the  _ shirt _ .

Before they knew it, four more lab coats were strewn across the carpet, Gordon laying down next to Joshua to lean over and kiss his temple. Cherry quickly jumped into the mix too, claiming Benrey's back as her new bed and just… Standing on him. He couldn't complain.

"How come I wasn't invited to the colour party?" Gordon joked, noticing the heart drawn on Joshua and Benrey's hands. "Ohhh I see I see, you gotta have a stamp to get in."

"Stamp?" Darnold asked, looking up to see the 'stamps' in question. "Please tell me you used a washable marker."

"squeaky clean bro." Benrey handed Joshua the marker he used on him, letting him happily draw a heart on the back of Gordon's left hand. Then, the kid quickly got up and went over to everyone else, brandishing his black marker.

"Stamp time, you can't-- you gotta have a stamp to keep colouring, it's the law." Gordon giggled, watching Joshua scribble a heart on the inside of Darnold's wrist.

"Says who?" Bubby challenged, but sat still while Joshua drew a heart on his temple. Unsure why he picked there.

"Joshua." Gordon shot right back.

"Oh okay, in that case it's fine." Joshua drew a heart on Coomer's exposed ankle, and now he was positive the kid was just picking random spots at this point.

Then, he got to Tommy and Sunkist, who looked up from their drawing of a small picture of a soda can on his lab coat, and gave Joshua a weak smile. Joshua shuffled in place, slowly capping the marker, and Gordon sat up the rest of the way, already getting ready to pull the two apart to avoid anything getting awkward. Instead, Joshua held open his arms, making Tommy release a tense breath and wrap his long arms around the kid in a powerful hug.

"Oh, Joshie," he chuckled, feeling his tiny fingers ball up in his shirt. "We-- Sunkist and I forgive you, right, Sunkist?"

He let go as Sunkist lifted her head, giving a single, bold lick right across Joshua's face and causing the kid to sputter a hearty giggle, falling back onto the pile of lab coats to try to wipe her slobber off his cheek.

"See? She forgives you!"

"That's-- Sunkist," Gordon laughed as he helped Joshua stand back up, using his shirt to wipe the rest of her slobber off. Luckily there wasn't a lot to begin with, but still, he didn't want Joshua smelling like kibble the next time he hugged him or picked him up. "Since marker doesn't work on fur, Tommy, you willing to get two stamps for Sunkist's sake?"

Tommy took a second to choose an area, eventually settling for the inside of his arm and letting Joshua draw  _ two _ hearts, one right next to the other. As soon as he was done, he admired his handywork and stepped away, going back over to Bubby's lab coat and finishing up his last few flames.

By the time he and Benrey were done, it resembled more of something a biker would wear than a scientist. Well, if that biker had their jacket designed by a five-year-old and an eldritch being that never coloured once in his life.

He moved onto Dr. Coomer's next, drawing what he hoped came across as boxing gloves and race cars, as he knew the scientist liked those. Coomer praised him on his drawing skills and taught him about music notes, and by 'taught' that meant 'read out approximately a paragraph of information from the wikipedia page on Musical Notes', but Joshua followed along as best as he could and scrawled a few of those on his lab coat as well, before moving on to Darnold's coat.

Darnold was, in short, a wonderful artist. Joshua almost didn't add anything to his, feeling like if he tried he would mess up the wonderful colours and bold lines dancing across his coat, but Darnold encouraged him by sketching out a test tube full of orange liquid, and asking him to draw a matching one right next to it. As soon as he did, Darnold ran his free hand through Joshua's hair, laughing softly as the kid drew bubbles coming from the test tube. Very reminiscent of what'd you see in kid's classrooms.

"See, you got it!" He smiled, pulling away when Joshua yawned and stretched out his arms, laying flat on his belly for a few seconds. "...Joshua?"

There was a pause, where Darnold shook Joshua's shoulder and Gordon got ready to get up, but Joshua lifted his head with a small grumble and continued drawing as if he  _ wasn't  _ seconds away from falling asleep.

He only drew two more test tubes of various shapes before his mind and hand started to wander, just drawing spirals and dots on any available space until he realized he was getting far too tired.

After having littered everyone's lab coats (even Benrey's, where only Gordon seemed to be the only on confused on why and how he had a lab coat if he was just a security guard) with small messages or doodles that he associated them with, Joshua was only awake long enough to roll over and draw a rather lovely heart with a cowboy hat over the breast pocket of Gordon's coat, along with the words "worldz bezt dad".

Had trouble with the letter S, sometimes. Couldn't remember which way it was flipped.

Just as he finished the message with a few orange lines hovering around the heart as if it was glowing, then laid his head on the old, distressed, marker-stained lab coat and was out like a light.

It was quiet for a bit, the group just continuing to scribble in comfortable silence, until Bubby's hair burst into flames and he pointly looked at Benrey.

Who… Didn't look too pleased, as Cherry (along with everyone else) freaked the hell out at the sudden noise, heat, and light, clawing up Benrey's back in her attempt to escape.

" _ wh-- _ "

"Did you tell him to call me that?" He spoke evenly, though his hair continued to burn. Dr. Coomer got up and left, returning only a minute later with a bag of marshmallows and some wooden skewers most definitely stolen from Gordon's kitchen drawer.

"call you what, bro?" Benrey was still pretty upset about the new scars sure to show up on his back, but he took a marshmallow stick from Dr. Coomer and held it over Bubby's flame. "grand--"

" _ Yes _ , that." He wasn't even bothered by the ever-growing pile of marshmallows being hung over his head, though he pointedly ignored Gordon's whisper of 'is this food-safe fire?' "Did you tell him to call me that?"

Gordon pulled his marshmallow away and blew out the bit of fire that clung to it. "Grand? Nah, he calls Dr. Coomer 'Grandpa Coomer', and when I asked him what he calls you, he said 'Grand _ pa _ Bubby'. I told him that you might like just 'Grand' better, so he settled for that." He waved the toasted 'mallow around for a second as he mentally double checked the fingerspelling to make sure he didn't accidentally tell Joshua anything different. "Why, is that bad? Want me to--"

" _ No _ ." Bubby's fire grew stronger suddenly and Tommy quietly yelped, pulling his marshmallow back and frowning when he realized it was burned. Gordon wordlessly traded with him, and Benrey wordlessly chomped the charred, gooey mess right off the stick. "I'll… I'll text you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Bubby: I never had anyone wordlessly appreciate my pronouns before. I just assumed you thought I only went by he/him, and I assumed Joshua didn't like me, so to see him signing 'Grand Bubby' was a lot to take in. How did you know?
> 
> Gordon: I asked? You know, I actually Like you Bubby, and Joshua absolutely loves you way more than you think. Plus, you arent the only one with gender issues, lol
> 
> Dr. Bubby: That's unfair and you know it.  
> Dr. Bubby: Wait, what gender issues?  
> Dr. Bubby: Gordon is there something you're not telling me?  
> Dr. Bubby: Gordon!
> 
> (p.s.: i Love the suggestions i got for the cat's name, and it reminded me of how my brother would name our pet cats. "Cat: The Gate Keeper" "Kitten: The Prophet Of Doom" "Evil: The Belligerent Bludgeon" and so forth)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy centered babyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the long wait, but guess what? I was in the Hos-pit-al!! It was so fucking awful there and i now have trauma. Im kinda goodish now, but getting back into the swing of things is hella difficult for me right now, so im taking things slow. So, please enjoy this chapter! I struggled with it and wrote some of it before i even ended up in hospital, but it still doesnt seem 100% just yet

It was well past the time everyone would be asleep. 

He long since saw Gordon lay Joshua down for the night. Sunkist later checked up on him to make sure.

Benrey, Gordon, and Darnold were not up long after him, most likely being ushered out of the living room as Bubby and Dr. Coomer's favourite show came on. He only knew simply because as he stood up from his silent perch in the kitchen to go on his and Sunkist's weekly night walk, he spotted the two of them curled up around each other quietly (or not so quietly, both of them snored _so_ loudly) dozing off. Cherry seemed to be having her own adventure it seemed, zooming through the house top speed with her claws skittering across the floor. No one seemed bothered, not even Sunkist, about the sound. They just soundlessly avoided her as Tommy turned off the TV and let the two continue to sleep.

He made a quick pit stop at the bathroom, washed his hands more thoroughly than he probably should, then dragged his feet the rest of the way to his room to change his clothes. Sunkist was right at his hip, breathing quiet but deep. It helped keep him in the moment.

Tommy paused by Gordon's room, not even knowing he did so until he heard Benrey sleep-sing a few notes of Sweet Voice and Gordon mumble about something in his sleep. Must be having a bad dream, he never mumbled in his sleep unless it was a bad dream.

Sunkist nudged his hand. Ah. That's right. Weekly night walk. He patted her nose absently. _Boop_.

Tommy let go of a quiet noise and continued to his room, Sunkist right beside him. She always is. Each _tumf_ of her massive, furry paws slapping the hardwood floor was strong enough to be felt a few feet over. He could just feel the excited energy coming off of her in waves, even if she wasn't outwardly showing it. How could he blame her? He made her easily excitable, but sometimes her boundless energy even surprised him.

He didn't much care for changing out of his clothes. They were just a simple yellow short-sleeved t-shirt and faded jogging pants that didn't really look or act like jogging pants. Jeans could go have a horrible holiday. Far too scratchy. Plus, it was at night, no one would see him anyway, but if he was going to be outside then he _had_ to change his shoes. Crocs were already pretty airy and comfortable, and his socks were _also_ comfortable, so it was a win-win!

Ducking out of his room a bit faster than normal-- you weren't allowed to wear shoes in Mr. Freeman's house, and he didn't want anyone to see and think he was a rule breaker-- Tommy waved for Sunkist to be at heel, until there was a tinkling crash of glass shattering.

They both turned, Tommy crouching and Sunkist dropping her head, jaw opening with a quiet, muted click. He could see tiny glints of light behind her teeth, burning energy boiling up from nothing as Tommy felt himself reaching for a weapon that wasn't there.

He was useless at the moment.

Well, not entirely useless, but weapon-wise, he had nothing but Sunkist. She would do. She would do twenty times over.

His steps were not as quiet as socks would have been, and he regretted ever putting on those damn crocs now. There was a quiet hiss, a small noise he was unable to recognize, and then the sound of glass being swept up.

They charged.

His footsteps were quick, calculated, charging into their secondary kitchen as Sunkist barreled ahead of him, just for both of them to slam their feet to the ground and stumble to an abrupt stop at seeing Benrey. It was dark-- no one had turned on the lights at all, and the curtains were closed in the living room, but that was clearly Benrey.

It was just Benrey. He was standing at the sink, staring at them with wide, glowing eyes, mouth hanging slightly open on a word that wasn't quiet there. Sunkist coughed around the laser she didn't get to use and Tommy took a deep breath, all of them rather awkwardly staring at each other.

Tommy spoke first. "I thought I--" voice was too loud. He turned it down a few levels. "I thought you were sleeping with Mr. Freeman? I heard- heard you um, singing."

Benrey pulled a paper towel from the rack next to him and turned on the faucet just barely, enough that a slow trickle started to drip down onto his other hand-- which Tommy just now noticed was inside the sink. "nope." He popped his lips on the 'p'. "uhhh it was feetman stinkie no good bad times. learned I should… go. 's awake but don't wanna be and. singing helps but he doesn't… you know." He gave up on the rest of the sentence with a half shrug, lifting his hand from the sink to inspect it.

The glow of his eyes slightly illuminated it, and Tommy watched as a thick line of inky black blood trailed down his fingers and dripped into the sink. Benrey dunked his hand again. "I… I see." Were his eyes always that bright? Or was it because Benrey was upset?

That was something that was in the back of everyone's minds, he figured. Gordon in general. Gordon still had phantom pains, and still flinched whenever Benrey randomly popped up, and was still thrusted in a panic-induced rage whenever Benrey grew too tall. It wasn't a secret that Gordon had PTSD, and still had episodes. He was an adult, and took care of them himself, but… that didn't dismiss that everyone else had their own trauma that attached to them. Tommy pat Sunkist's body-- wherever she happened to be standing, he just reached out and buried his hand into whatever patch of soft fur he could feel.

"Did-- you cut yourself?" He asked, knowing the answer already, but unsure what type of answer he was going to get. He saw a few balled up wads of tape on the counter as Benrey reached for another paper towel and turned the faucet off.

"not on purpose." He pressed the paper to his index and middle finger, squeezing a bit roughly. "bad hands hit aaaaa cup and it did a dive. 0/10 went everywhere, cut my fingers."

Ah. So that's what was in the tape. He grabbed them and turned to toss them away, watching Benrey shuffle in place. He was barefoot. Good thing he was wearing shoes. Maybe Gordon should allow house shoes. "Want… Do you want my help?" He swatted Sunkist from the kitchen, because even if he made his dog immortal, he didn't want to risk her stepping on glass and then suffering as he pulled it out. "Your hands aren't bad."

He let go of the paper towel to show that if anything he'd been squeezing too had and had ripped it, and Tommy grabbed his hand carefully. It wasn't his first time doing so, grabbing Benrey's hand after he cut himself doing something stupid or simply out of pure accident, so it was nothing more than muscle memory for him to lift his free hand and smoothe his fingers over the two deep cuts and seal them up right away. He vaguely wondered why Benrey hadn't done so himself, but figured it wasn't his place to ask.

Instead, he took a step back and made a sweeping action with his arms, twinkling, small, nearly invisible shards of glass lifting into the air long enough for Tommy to pull out some duct tape and litter it with the glass. Once everything was cleaned up and collected, he tossed the last tape ball and Benrey wolf-whistled.

"damn, impressive. 20/10." He smiled faintly, lifting his newly-healed hand for a fistbump which Tommy gladly returned. He sang out green-to-blue Sweet Voice, stepping aside and squeezing past Tommy to wander into the living room. "m' just gonna vibe for a while. say hi to G for me."

With that, he flopped backwards onto the couch and started humming into one of the pillows. Tommy took it as his que to leave.

As he and Sunkist walked down the hallway, he looked back long enough to see Benrey tiredly but aggressively spitting out Sweet Voice. His voice was quiet and low, possibly to not disturb Darnold, but to see 'I'm confused', 'I'm not mean', 'I'm sorry', and 'let me help' being twisted around the couch made his heart break just a little bit more than it already was.

He felt Sunkist's tail tap his leg. That's right. Weekly night walk. That'll clear both their heads.

They were in the backyard faster than he realized. He was grabbing onto Sunkist's collar faster than he realized. He was sitting on her newly transformed back faster than he realized. It wasn't until he turned his head, saw clear over the roof of the house and then some, that he was suddenly and harshly drawn into the moment and sat himself solidly on the back of Sunkist's broad neck and dug his hands into the small holds in her collar. She turned her massive head, as if trying to look at him, but he just reached forward and gently scratched behind a giant, floppy ear. His hand was absolutely buried inside her fur.

"I-it's okay, Sunkist! We can go now."

She gave a deafening bark in response, bracing her giant paws to the ground as her tail barely missed knocking down an entire tree. With an excited wiggle, she leapt, clearing an entire block with a single bound before leaping once more, staying airborne this time.

Sunkist is a wonderful dog. A wonderful dog that Tommy created. A wonderful dog that could shoot lasers and fly.

He felt himself lowering himself into her fluffy neck as she ran through the air, allowing them to be more streamlined. Letting Sunkist take over as cool winds whipped through their hair. And fur.

With each passing second, each charging movement of Sunkist's body moving beneath her fur, each quick boof of Sweet Voice she sang out in excitement, Tommy felt his worries start stripping themselves away. Filed away for a later date. Those problems aren't for Now Tommy, that's for Later Tommy. He'll handle them, please and thank you.

For now, he was just going to enjoy Sunkist's unbridled enthusiasm, speeding through the dark skies and jutting her head towards whatever small cluster of stars she was ever able to see. The equivalent of tossing a cranky toddler inside a car and driving around until they fell asleep.

Sunkist let out a quiet huff at feeling Tommy giggling into her fur, and he patted her as he collected himself.

"Y-you think if we took Gordon on a ride, he'll-- he would fall asleep?" He tried to hide a smile and laugh, but Sunkist caught it right away and boofed again, paws lowering to the ground as she jogged to a slow stop. 

Tommy looked up, watching the star-littered sky overhead as Sunkist walked in a tight circle, then lowered herself to lay in the grass with Tommy still on her back. He shifted to climb up her head, sliding down between her ears and down her muzzle until he tumbled to the recently cut grass below.

It was comfy.

His eyes found themself wandering, looking up from the ground to turn his head and look at the back patio of his dad's estate. Right at the man in question, who raised a hand in a simple wave at the two. Tommy raised both of his hands and waved back-- one for him, one for Benrey-- just to nearly be trampled by Sunkist's massive thumping tail. With one last swish, Gman was entirely gone without a trace, and Tommy let out a soft breath.

"Goodnight, Sunkist. :)" He smiled up at his perfect dog, leaning back to sit against her belly as she curled her tail around him. Like a very big, very warm, very fluffy blanket.

'Goodnight, Tommy,' she seemed to sing out in Sweet Voice, and he closed his eyes, sinking into her fur.

He'd message Gordon where he was in the morning. He had a habit of being worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Gman would have an estate, bc why the fuckest not. Literally all of the science team could live there but then Gman would have to deal with all of them and leave Freeman and Tommy in charge and hes just not ready for that yet


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Benrey learns what a field trip is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow this chapter got to 2k words very fast. Expect the next chapter to be much longer because im losing my mind and i need this to happen

Gordon was rather abruptly and rather painfully awoken by a hefty five-and-a-half year old jumping onto his chest, successfully knocking all of the wind out of him and making him sit up with a groan. He blinked and rubbed his bleary eyes with one hand, the other mostly just trying to push himself further up the headboard so Joshua wasn't sitting _directly_ on his lungs.

"Josh, Joshie," Gordon grunted, opening his eyes and reaching for his glasses only for Joshua to hand them to him. "Thanks, but _why_."

"he escaped me." Came Benrey, standing half frozen in the doorway as Cherry circled his legs, most likely asking for food. "he woke up and I tried but he was too fast, b-hopped. cheater."

" _Benrey_ ," Honestly it was just way too early for this, but Gordon just playfully sighed and waved his stump (as he realized he _could_ remove his arm, he just had to fully twist it and _then_ pop it off) making Joshua giggle and finally climb to the side of him. "What are you-- why are you up, you little gremlin? It's so early."

Joshua grinned even harder, if that was possible for such a tiny face, and flapped his arms. "I remem-membered!" He stopped suddenly, eyes going wide. "I forgot!" Then he scrambled off the bed and scurried out of the room, slipping past Benrey and almost tripping over Cherry but still going strong.

It was quiet for a second, and Gordon hummed. "H-hey, Benrey?"

At being addressed, he flinched. Gordon pretended to not see that. "yo?"

"I'm sorry for like-- for freaking out last night. I like you, a lot, hell I love you like a brother. I just don't know--"

"'s cool." And it was. Well, it wasn't, he didn't want to be part of anyone's trauma, let alone Gordon, but there were things that couldn't be controlled. There was nothing to forgive, as there was nothing to apologize for. He didn't say any of that, though. Instead, he just word-vomited: "bad guy demo disk got too scratched, bro." But he hoped Gordon got the jist.

Gordon just stared at him for a second, then just playfully sighed around a chuckle and reached for his prosthetic arm, reconnecting it and giving a few test squeezes. "Long as you understand… best bud."

Benrey had absolutely _zero_ seconds to let those words sink in as Joshua came barreling into the room again, this time holding a folded up paper. Right before he launched himself onto Gordon yet _again_ he reached down and scooped the little cowboy up, sitting him on the bed. "Alright alright, what-- what's this, that you were so excited about?"

The paper was thrust into his face and after plucking it from Joshua's tiny hands, he unfolded it and immediately recognized the format.

A field trip.

His face crinkled into a half frown. "Field trip?"

"Ya!" Joshua bounced where he sat, stopping only when he nearly fell over at Benrey joining them on the bed as well, weighing it down.

Gordon rubbed his thumbs across the sheet, reading over the lines. "I mean, you're still on punishment for what you did to Sunkist and Tommy…"

In an instant, Joshua's face fell, and he looked at the covers with a defeated sigh. "I… I forgot. I'm sorry."

"yoo, not fair, Feetman." While it was true he had basically no say in how Gordon raised Joshua, he was adamant in putting his foot down over this. He said no tv or video games! This was different! Even though he didn't know what a field trip _was_ … but still! "let the little man fall over in a field."

"Ben-- what??" Just as soon as he started his Dad Voice it was immediately thrown out the window with Benrey's rather literal definition of a Field Trip, and he couldn't help sputter around a laugh. "N- _no_ it's not going into a field and tripping, it's like, an entire class picks a nice, fun, and or educational place to go. Like a break from school or whatever."

And, with that definition, Joshua deflated even more and curled up on himself, just waiting for Gordon to flat out say no already and keep the paper. Gordon only frowned again at Joshua's state, then sighed.

"Joshie, I'll…" he mumbled, scanning the paper again. It was a trip to the aquarium, which was one of Joshua's favourite places simply because of the eels, and probably why the kid was obsessed with them and claimed he saw an eel at the beach that one time. It would be… A major dick move if he said no just because of something he did that he immediately regretted and apologized for. "Fine, fine, okay? You can go. If you get me a pen I'll sign--"

No need to finish, as Joshua was already up and rushing out the room once again. Man that kid was too hyper for his own well being.

"where's he goin'?" Benrey pawed at the paper, and without really thinking, Gordon leaned over so Benrey could read the sheet too and started to point at certain lines.

"Joshua and his class are going to the local aquarium. They're gonna write a little report when they're done about what their favourite animal is, what it eats, how it lives, and a fun fact about them." Benrey nodded along, though he was already a bit lost. "And they're asking for at least one chaperone, so I'm gonna have to go with him."

"cool, cool. what's a square-um? what's a chapped-roné?"

" _Aquarium_ and _Chaperone_ , Benrey. An aquarium is just… basically a giant fish tank, where a lot of fish and water animals live and swim around and stuff. It's really cool there, actually." In more ways than one. It was always weirdly cold in there. "And a chaperone is just someone that comes along to help watch the kids to make sure they stay safe, stay together, and don't do anything wrong. Kinda like a security guard?" 

And that's where his mistake laid, suspended in the air the moment he said 'security'. Benrey's face broke into a mischievous grin just as Joshua came back, sporting a clipboard and a blue pen. 

"Got them!" He cheered, putting both on Gordon's lap. Gordon signed his name twice, one for allowing Joshua to go, and the other for saying he was his father and would chaperone. Then, Benrey carefully no-clipped the board from his hands and printed his name as a guardian that would _also_ chaperone.

"I'm gonna have to follow you." He said, putting the clipboard back down while ignoring Gordon's half-annoyed groan and push while Joshua took the paper and started buzzing away in happiness, bouncing out the room to get ready for school.

"Benrey,"

"Gordon!"

They paused, both unsure where else to take the conversation, before both dissolved into laughter and Gordon stood up and went to his closet. "Alright, alright you odd whatever-you-are. Get dressed-- and no gamer sweats! You gotta at least dress _normally_."

"gamer sweats _are_ normal bro, how-- how you gonna be. be mean about Benny's epic wardrobe. gordon meanman" He didn't wait for Gordon to grab the rest of his clothes before squeezing past him to grab some black jeans, a dark blue shirt and matching hoodie, then paused. "can I… helmet?"

Half ignoring the 'gordon meanman' comment, Gordon tossed his clothes on the bed and picked up Benrey's helmet in question. He wasn't wearing it yet, having tossed it off last night before Gordon's little breakdown, and replaced it with a beanie instead. But, the helmet was very… _Benrey_. He shrugged, brushing some lint off from the side of it, and tossed it to the eldritch being. "Sure, why the hell not? Keeps all your Benrey-isms in place."

"BBBBBbbbbsweeeet," Benrey quickly slid his helmet on, then clipped through it to grab his beanie and pull it off instead of, you know, taking the beanie off in the _first_ place. "Gordon Sweetman."

"Weirdo." Gordon heard Joshua leave the shower and grabbed his clothes again, heading to the bathroom.

"you love it."

"I do!" He laughed, then shut the bathroom door.

Benrey sang some Sweet Voice as he shucked off his clothes and got dressed, pausing to look at his reflection in Gordon's way too big fuckin' full-length mirror that he had hanging on the wall and leaned in close, looking himself over. "the poggest of goals." He cackled, then whirled around, grabbed his phone that was just flat out lying on the floor instead of on the nightstand, and hurried into the living room just to smell breakfast already cooking.

"Benrey," Bubby greeted, turning to him with Joshua carefully balanced on his shoulders. "... Why are you dressed?"

"Hello, Benrey!" Dr. Coomer greeted, voice a tad bit too loud as the lump on the couch shifted enough for Darnold's head to poke out and glare at nothing.

"yo." Benrey wandered into the kitchen to grab a slice of bacon straight from the pan, but Coomer swatted his hand away and instead offered him an already cooked and cooled slice to take instead. Coomer was a great cook too, damn. Was this _maple_ bacon? "gonna go on a field trip with Gordo and the Joshie."

"How come _you_ get to go?" Bubby shot back, reaching up to pull Joshua off his shoulders to instead hold him on his hip. Or at least tried to, before Joshua got too squirmy and jumped down, pulling Bubby's sweater until he leaned down and was enveloped in a tight hug. "O-oh, thank you, Joshua."

Benrey sat on the arm of the couch, watching Joshua run off to grab his bookbag. "lil cowboy needed two crapped-toes and I signed."

"...chaperones?" Darnold whispered, voice muffled by the cover.

Coomer called Bubby over to help set the table just as Gordon came into the living room, standing off to the side with his phone pressed to his ear. It was like a switch was flipped, as everyone went silent to try to listen in on his call.

"Howdy, Tommy. W-why are you calling? Something up?"

A small shuffling noise, then a _boof_ from Sunkist. He found himself smiling. "H-hi Mr. Freeman! Nothing's wrong I was just-- I called to let you know I'm at my dad's house, and I wanted to call to let you know so you don't-- aren't confused when you didn't see me." 

Gordon nodded, then looked at Benrey in confusion as he walked up and handed him a cup of water. He didn't need it, but mouthed 'thanks' anyway. "Okay, thanks-- thanks for letting me know, Tommy. How'd you even get over there?"

"Sunkist!" Tommy said proudly, and Gordon heard Sunkist _boof_ louder than earlier, her nails tapping along the floor in excitement.

He drank half the cup of water, then set it down on the stand next to him. "... Why am I not surprised? Alright--" Benrey handed him a comb this time, and Gordon waved it at him with a wild shrug before sticking it in his hair. He continued to talk, straighting out his hair as best he could with one hand, deciding to forgo his usual ponytail. Nothing wrong with having his hair down for the day. "Good thing you called, because I'm chaperoning Joshua to the aquarium, so I'm not gonna be home for a while anyway."

"Oh, really!?" 

"Yeah! It's like, super close by too. Well, not too close, it's a bit of a drive, but whatever--" Benrey gave Gordon a plushie this time, and Gordon whipped it at his head, the plushie harmlessly bouncing off but Benrey collapsing as if he perished on the spot. "Alright Tommy I gotta-- I gotta go, Benrey keeps givin' me stuff because I'm distracted and I think I killed him with a plushie."

Tommy only laughed on the other end, and Gordon gave a quick 'love you, bye' before hanging up and hurrying to the table to eat breakfast, leaving Benrey 'dead' on the floor until he got bored and finally got up.

"Don't hog all the toast." Bubby grumbled, stealing an extra slice of toast as Benrey tried to load his plate with nothing but toast and bacon.

"You can have my toast, Bubby! I made it just how you like it."

Bubby paused, then gave Coomer a playful nudge and took the offered slice of toast that already had butter and a small swipe of honey on it. "Sweet, thanks Harold." 

Darnold silently stole Gordon's cup of apple juice, but by the time he even noticed it was entirely gone.

"Darnold! I thought we were friends, how could you?"

"What's yours is mine, right Dr. Freeman?" He chuckled, just to gasp in shock as Gordon stole his last sausage off his plate. "I was saving that with the last of my eggs!"

"What's yours is mine, right Darnold?"

"ooooooh you just got _played_." Benrey cackled, standing up to pour Gordon a new cup of apple juice anyway.

"Y-you can have my sausage, Dar… Darnold!" Joshua hummed, pushing his plate forward to show that he, indeed, only had one sausage left. "So you can grow big and strong."

"I'm-- I'm already big and strong!" He tried to reason, and luckily Gordon piped up.

"Yeah! Darnold's _really_ strong. At work, he lifted-- you know those big oil barrels I would talk about? He lifted one of those with his bare hands! He could probably lift that-- that uh… Armchair over there with _no_ problem."

Joshua buzzed in awe, staring at the chair in question as if imagining Darnold lifting it with just one hand like some sort of superhero. Darnold quickly added in.

"Yeah! So if… if you wanna be as big and strong like me, you gotta eat _all_ of your breakfast. Okay?"

"Bbbbokay!" Joshua cheered, pulling his plate back and hesitating just a moment before finishing off his sausage.

"Say, Gordon, where exactly is that aquarium again?" Coomer spoke up, collecting their now empty plates to put in the sink. Gordon sipped at his apple juice for a bit, trying to remember what he saw on the sheet, then told him the address.

"You should go one day, it's pretty nice there." He finished, looking at the time. "Alright Joshie, you wanna take the bus, or do you want me to drive you there?"

Joshua waved for Bubby to help him wash his hands, then went wide eyed and grinned. "Dad triiiiip!" 

"Dad trip!" Gordon laughed, not catching Bubby's sly look as he helped him out his seat and down to the bathroom. He stood and joined Coomer at the sink, excusing himself so he could wash and dry his hands really quick. "Or, dad and uncle trip. C'mon, Benrey, wash your hands and get your shoes on."

"uuuuuuggggghhhhh," the eldritch being stood, grumbling about how he didn't want to put on his shoes as he washed his hands and wiped them off on his hoodie. When he joined Gordon by the door (ignoring Gordon asking where his socks were. Gamers didn't wear socks), Joshua bounded up behind them and pulled his shoes on, making a show of tying them.

Gordon pulled his shoes on, Benrey clipped into his shoes, and when they stood Joshua reached up and grabbed one of their hands. Benrey didn't even try to hide his Sweet Voice this time as he gently squeezed Joshua's hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gordon, Benrey, and Joshua walking down the sidewalk and they occationally lift Joshua up as he walks like hes walking on the moon and hes squealing in excitement the entire time  
> Then benrey says "watch this bro" grabs Joshua, and double jumps onto the nearest building 
> 
> I had Benrey clipping a Lot in this chapter and i have no idea why. He just got extra feral today


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Field Trip part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt really gross to have such a long chapter so i broke it up. Expect the next chapter later today or tomorrow ❤

So, this is what it was like being on a school bus.

Benrey walked aimlessly down the empty aisle, looking at each seat and poking and prodding at the material of each. It was all some sort of old leather and cloth hybrid that he couldn't place. The seatbelts he found weren't exactly any better, but they were strong enough to support him tugging at them. It didn't seem like there were enough seatbelts, actually. And the windows didn't open too wide, either. And the steering wheel was really big and there were  _ so _ many buttons but there wasn't a passenger seat? How come everyone had to have a backseat? Not poggers.

Benrey paused to lean across a seat, staring out the window as he scanned the crowd of kids. There were… A lot. Like, twenty of them. Twenty four exactly. Like Where's Waldo up in this bus looking for Joshua. But, he spotted him. Joshua was standing a little off to the side, talking animatedly with a kid a little taller than him, and another kid that was basically his height. He had friends! Good. Were they old enough to have passports yet?

His eyes traveled higher, this time looking at the adults that came. The rest of the chaperones. There were six total. Two women, two guys, him, and Gordon. As his eye settled on Gordon, his iris blew wide, and he smiled a bit. Gordon really changed his life… he couldn't ask for a better friend. Better…  _ brother _ .

He hummed some content Sweet Voice as he continued to stare, seeing Gordon talking. Gordon talked to him too, a little before they stopped outside the school and Joshua ran off. He told him not to use his Sweet Voice in public, but he was entirely allowed to use it if no one was watching or if he was alone. Then, he said no shape shifting at all, even  _ if _ no one was watching. Those rules kinda sucked, but he could deal with it. He already had a plan if he slipped up and Sweet Voiced in public. And he also gave him this sweet black bookbag. It had snacks and mini water bottles in it, along with some other weird Gordon-Stuff.

But, right now, as he was hidden away, he was allowed to sing and watch Gordon talk to … Whoever he was talking to. Though, he didn't seem excited, and wasn't moving around as much as he normally would. Actually, he was rubbing the back of his neck a lot, and tucking his hair behind his ears and gesturing vaguely to his arm, speaking to a guy Benrey didn't know. Well, Benrey didn't know anyone there except Gordon and Joshua, but still. He wasn't gonna let that happen.

Teleporting outside of the locked bus (hey he was curious and he didn't see a driver anywhere, cut him some slack), Benrey boldly charged up to Gordon and the odd guy and cleared his throat. "can I see your. passport?"

The guy looked at him, opening his mouth, then frowned. Up close, Benrey could see he had short, sandy brown hair, was wearing a burgundy polo shirt, black jeans, and what looked like dress shoes. A teacher? Chaperone? Couldn't tell. "Passport? Why do I need a passport? This is a field trip." He shrugged. "Plus, you  _ rudely _ interrupted our conversation."

Benrey held firm, a bored expression plastered on his face as he tucked his hands into his hoodie pocket. "that's okay I wanna see it though? please?"

Gordon turned away, and Benrey looked over enough to see his shoulders shaking in a silent laugh. What was so funny? He just wanted to see this man's passport.

The man raised his hands in confusion, then dug into his pants pocket. "I-- my ID? I can show you my ID?" He mumbled, pulling out his bulky brown wallet and pulling his ID, showing it to Benrey. He squinted at the small card, although he was able to see it perfectly anyway, and nodded.

"okay thanks. now your passport?"

" _ Benrey _ , oh my god," Gordon gasped, throwing his arm around Benrey's shoulders and pulling him off to the side, all while the man (Jordan, as Benrey read) sputtered in confusion and walked away. "Thanks for the save there, d-dude was asking a lot about my arm and uh, thought he was a homebrew Sherlock. 'You have a lot of grey in your hair, and that's a pretty nasty scar around your arm. That means you must have gone through a lot of trauma' blah blah blah."

He was  _ bothering _ Gordon? Alright, that settled it. Jordan was already sketchy because he didn't show his passport, but now he was on the Benrey Watch List. "don't worry, I'm a campaign. won't let anyone bother my bros."

Gordon just might as well just not correct him, he was sure Benrey was just getting it wrong on purpose now. And he was, thank you very much. He liked seeing Gordon get exasperated each and every time. "Pffft, well, thanks again. Also where the hell did you come from? I was looking for you, we're about to get on the bus in a bit and the teacher wanted to make sure you were here."

What? Oh crap. He didn't know there were so many steps to this stuff. Giving barely a response that was more like a noise, he let Gordon lead him to the teacher in question. Her name was Mrs. Skie, and she was a nice cool that was only slightly confused about his helmet. But, she was chill about it and let him keep it after Gordon explained it was his comfort item. Extra points for the Gordos.

Then, they walked up to this security guard and Benrey had to take off his bag and t-pose while they waved a wand over his body, and after he properly established his dominance, he was let go.

And then, it was time to go (back) on the bus.

Gordon gave him a small rundown. Chaperones were to be at the back, middle, and front of the bus. He immediately shucked off the bookbag, claimed the second from the first seat and dragged Gordon down beside him, and after a small argument of "Hey no i want the window seat" and "wow gordon meanman back at it again with the no fun", Gordon finally let Benrey have the window seat. Not like he really had a choice to begin with.

Their job was to keep the kids at an acceptable level of volume, make sure no one had anything dangerous or bad, and that no fights or arguments happened. Which was just a security guard's job. Felt just like home. Well, not home-home, it wasn't Gordon's house, or Xen. That was a weird human expression, now that he thought about it.

Joshua and his friends sat right behind them, Joshua standing up on the seat to pat Benrey's helmet and ruffle Gordon's hair until they looked at him.

"Hey lil cowboy, why are you standin' up in your seat?" Gordon turned, kneeling in his seat to playfully push Joshua back down and wave to his friends. Benrey could  _ hear _ the old leather creak in protest. "Oh Benrey look, it's the deputy and the tough dinosaur!"

The Deputy, also known as Mint, was a redheaded girl that giggled and held up her finger guns, telling Gordon to "stick em up". After he did so, and Benrey sat up just to do the same, she was satisfied and lowered her hands. Then the Dinosaur, Dani, was a kid with hair draping over their shoulders with a bandana tied around their neck that had big sharp teeth painted on it. They just roared at them, and Benrey got a grand idea.

Without even asking, he drummed his fingers on the back of the seat and stifled a laugh. "yo bro check this out." He said, then bared his insanely sharp teeth and let out a sound not unlike what you'd expect a real life dinosaur to sound like. It was… Rather loud, but not ear piercing. 

What it  _ did _ successfully do was make Dani's eyes go wide as they pulled their bandana around their mouth and roared back at him with their hands up, cones of paper on their fingers to mimic claws, and Benrey gasped and fell back. "bro they just let you say that? in. public??"

Dani roared again, roughly translating to "Rwah rah, roar rwah rawr!"

"I thought we were bros, dino bros, how. how could you," Benrey turned and slid back into his seat, letting out a defeated squealing screech as he did so that made Gordon bury his head in his hands and mumble something about how this would be a  _ long _ day.

The bus started up, and Benrey flinched as he felt Gordon reach beside him and pull something from between the seats. He watched carefully as he connected his seatbelt for him, then fished his own seatbelt from between the seats and connected them. He didn't know the seatbelts were hidden  _ in _ the seats. How practical was that?

The bus continued to rumble on, loud engine growling out in agony as their seats and windows vibrated, and Benrey turned to Gordon. "massage seats?" He asked, mostly out of nervousness, Gordon giving a half laugh.

"No, the engine's just fucky. They might as well be massage seats." He nudged Benrey's arm, then tilted his head back. "You got your seatbelt on, Joshie?"

There was a fiddling noise, then a hearty  _ click _ . "Yep!"

"Good boy!"

"I got my seatbelt on." Benrey added, eyes boring into the side of Gordon's head, at his messy hair pulled over his ears. He rarely ever saw Gordon with his hair down, it was a nice touch. But he could see why he didn't do it often, as he had to fully turn his head to see Benrey.

"Good eldritch being." Gordon joked, not knowing Benrey took it entirely to heart and beamed proudly the moment he looked away again.

Riding in a bus was nothing like what he saw in movies. He couldn't rest his head on the window and stare wistfully out into the distance, because his head kept thumping the glass and his shoulders kept shaking to the point where he couldn't keep focus on anything. The kids were so loud that he had half a mind to turn around and screech for them to shut up, but he kept it down, along with his Sweet Voice. It wasn't good to keep it down like that, but he was fine. He'd be alright for a few hours.

"Don't worry," Gordon said at one point, grabbing his hand and stopping him from picking at his skin. He didn't even know he was doing that. "The ride there is always the worst. The ride back is the best." He wasn't sure what he meant by that, but he just squeezed his hand back and took his word to heart.

There were a few times Gordon rushed to his feet then came back without saying anything, or sometimes he would hear some other adult quiet the kids down if they got too rowdy, but after a bit, everyone finally settled on their inside-voices and Benrey found himself… chill with the situation. Enough that he held a little conversation with Joshua, Mint, and Dani about what their favourite animals were (even though he had no clue what half of them were).

Joshua liked eels.

Dani drew a picture of something labeled a "shark"

And Mint liked stingrays.

Eventually, they all grew distracted by something, leaving the bus in a half-quiet of just chattering toddlers and beeps of devices and such. It would periodically pick up, but Gordon and a few other chaperones were surprisingly good at keeping them quiet. He was half tempted to just sing them some Calm Down, but Gordon was right by his side and kept reassuring him.

He was glad for it.

The rest of the trip was odd. He saw a water bottle roll under the seats exactly three times before it suddenly disappeared. And, when the bus turned, he was nearly thrown out of his seat. Seatbelt be damned, as it only went over his lap anyway.

The only positives was when they hit a particularly rough pothole and he was launched in the air, and he never failed to cackle at Gordon  _ always _ being unprepared for it and giggling like a madman right afterwards. The second positive was when the bus turned to the  _ left _ and Gordon squished against him like a really heavy hug and he got to say "oh gordos wants cuddles?" And Gordon would always muff him.

Great fun.

Though, it got to the point where Gordon leaned against him with his arms crossed, gesturing with a small nod to the window. "Hey look, we're driving by a preserve. See if you can see any animals."

He didn't know what a preserve was, but he followed Gordon's gaze and stared at the thick woods flitting past them. His eyes widened a fraction, watching as the deep browns and greens of thick, beautiful trees whizzed past, a slight… longing feeling settling into his heart. Didn't know where that came from. He also swiped away the almond-to-pear Sweet Voice before anyone could see it, only hearing Gordon hum beside him. He hoped he wasn't upset.

Birds flew past, he couldn't name them. Gordon didn't say anything either, so he figured he didn't know their name. He saw a creek of some sort, maybe, a thin channel of water with a  _ really _ fat toad or frog sitting in the middle of it. It was so fat, man.

Then, he saw two… dogs? Like, weird dogs. They had legs and necks that were too long, ears a bit too big and standing straight up, and giant black eyes that stared at the bus as they passed by.

"Ooh, deers!" Gordon said.

"Deer!" Joshua chirped, only a second later, and each kid behind them all sounded off in excitement of seeing deer.

"pog." Was all he said, blinking slowly at the woods as they thinned out and eventually ended. "unpog."

"Don't worry." Gordon laughed, and Benrey laid his head on top of Gordon's absolute fuzzy mop of hair. "I'm sure you'll get to go to one soon. They like volunteers." 

Hopefully.

And all too suddenly, Benrey was being shaken awake by Gordon complaining about something. Which was basically normal anyway, but when he sat up and saw a giant glob of yellow and blue Sweet Voice weighing down a lock of his hair, he wiped the rest of the Voice from his mouth and looked around to make sure no one saw it.

"You better hope this washes out."

"wh-- course it does, bro." He said, and Gordon was only 50% sure he was just making it up. Until Benrey reached up, scrubbing his hands together and turning the voice into dust that just crumbled to the bus floor, joining the other mysterious specks of unknown origins. Just what the  _ fuck _ was Sweet Voice made of??

Dismissing Benrey's weird anatomy and attributes, Gordon got up, made sure Joshua and his friends were up and running, and after a quick headcount everyone was off the bus and--

"Took you long enough!"

"Hello, Gordon!"

"Hi Dr. Freeman." 

"H-hello Mr. Freeman!"

"Dr. Freeman."

Bubby, Dr. Coomer, Darnold, Tommy, Sunkist, _and_ _Gman??_ What the hell. What the fuck. What the shit.

" _ Guys _ why are you here what-- you're not chaperones!" Gordon looked back at the group of kids as they filed out the bus, an exasperated sigh clawing its way out of him as he saw Benrey herding them into groups. Which… helped, yeah, but still--

"Now Gordon, you must know that we don't have to be chaperones to enjoy a lovely time at the aquarium!" Coomer boasted, slapping a hand on Gordon's back with enough force to double him over. Which it did. He doubled over, gasping in a much needed breath before he heard Joshua's famous  _ scream of excitement _ before he came sprinting and jumping up into Dr. Coomer's awaiting arms. "You even suggested that we should go sometime, so we decided that 'sometime' should be today."

"I did," he grunted, holding a hand to his chest. "I did. I did say that."

Joshua made grabby hands to Bubby, and Coomer wordlessly passed him over. "Really, how did you not get that we were coming too? We made it really obvious." Bubby asked, only earning a half glare from Gordon that didn't meet his eyes. It only said 'I wasn't paying attention, that's how' and it only made Bubby feel more smug about it all.

Darnold helped Gordon stand up straight just as Tommy and Sunkist came over to check on him, Sunkist sporting a very lovely service dog vest that she looked proud of wearing. "If it makes you feel better, I only came because Tommy thought you would need the extra support."

"Gods I really do." Gordon grumbled, fishing Joshua out of Bubby's arms. "And Joshie, you know you don't just run out of groups! Even if you recognize the people you're heading to." 

Joshua pouted a bit, gripping Gordon's shirt with a huff. "Even family?"

Gods, those two words were like a punch to the chest. So much so that no one knew how to respond right away. Gordon looked up, looking across the embarrassed but proud Science Team before his eyes settled on Gman, who was watching him and Joshua with intense, mysterious eyes that he just couldn't decipher.

He was luckily called away before he could somehow ruin the moment and with a small "excuse me," he hurried off to the groups again to see Benrey smugly standing off to the side, having spit the groups into fours. Each chaperone had four kids, meaning that he and Benrey would share a combined eight.

What hell did you just bring forward, Benrey.

He was about to say that out loud when he noticed just how empty his hands were and… Joshua had run off again. Better tie a bell to him, damnit. Right when he turned around, he saw Joshua holding hands with Bubby and Coomer, who were holding Darnold and Tommy's hands, leading them all over to the teacher with a big smile on his face. Mrs. Skie looked at him, then to Gordon, then back to Joshua.

"This-- this is Bub-by, and Coomer, my gran-parents." He said proudly, lifting their hands respectively. Bubby looked away shyly, much unlike him, while Coomer had a broad smile. Then Joshua let go to point at Tommy and Darnold "And this Tommy and his-- his dog Sunkist! And that's Darn-Darnold, my… gardens." He smiled, flapping his hands happily as Mrs. Skie looked at Gordon, absolutely lost.

"He's not lying," was all he could offer, "They uh… just wanted to visit the aquarium today. Don't mind them."

That was more for her mental safety than his. Who knows what chaos the  _ entire _ Science Team would cause, unbridled by human expectations and surrounded by glass and fish.

Oh God. It was all falling apart in his mind already and they hadn't even set foot in the damn place.

_ Tommy, Darnold,  _ Gordon pleaded mentally as the teacher gave everyone the basic rundown of the do's and don'ts of the aquarium.  _ Help me through this. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet Voice translations
> 
> Blue-to-mint: I'm content
> 
> Almond-to-Pear: I long to be there
> 
> Yellow-to-blue: Happy to be with you (in this case)
> 
> \---
> 
> Benrey doesnt know what a deer is im sorry he just doesn't  
> *pointing at Gordon and Benrey* we do love a dumbass bitches!!! Im so glad everyone immed caught on to the Science team not at all hiding that theyre going to the aquarium too its the best  
> Also!! Joshua has claimed them all as family (minus Gman because Joshua's small and excited sorry he didn't notice Gman because dude is hovering behind Tommy like a really tall little gremlin)
> 
> Some deleted scenes include:  
> \- Benrey failing the metal detector thing, and when he pulls up his shirt he shows he has a ton of battle scars and still has harmless shrapnel in his body (because i found out that!! If you have shrapnel that legit isnt fucking with ur body, they don't take it out!!!)
> 
> \- Gordon asking Benrey to braid his hair because it was getting in the way
> 
> \- Joshua asking Benrey to sing them a magic song, and then Benrey being hella awkward about it
> 
> \- Describing that Bubby is wearing a sweater and a skirt. He still is, i just didnt describe it. Tommy is wearing crocs and Coomer and Gman are wearing dress shoes. Darnold and Gordon are the only ones wearing gym shoes because theyre normal. Benrey is wearing more of boots than shoes, but i already called them shoes in the last chapter so eh it is what it is. The shoes don't matter
> 
> \- Gman/Flan freezing time Just to tell Gordon how cute Joshua is
> 
> \- Gman/Flan freezing time Just to try to one up Gordon and show Joshua how cool he is but Joshua is adament Gordon is more cool because he got a robot arm and watches cowboys with him (when hes not in trouble)


End file.
